Literally i hate myself.... about 6 weeks ago i had an abortion something that i will never ever forget i know its scarred me for the rest of my life... i try to forget about it because my boyfriend and friends keep tellin me but its so diffcult. i see the ultrasound pictures and i strt crying worser. i was going to be 12 weeks 3 days after the abortion... my baby was to be due june 17. the worst decision i made was having the aboriton. i really was happy when i found out i was pregnant... i was soo touched when i saw my abbay on the ultrasound and heard its heart beatt it made me tear so badd...see when i told my boyfirned i was pregnant he snapped he said if i was going to keep the abby i wasnt going to see him as muchh and it hurt me bad because he means everything to me,,, more then my baby did thats the mistake i made... so me and him went to the clinic and due to me not wnating to let go of my man i did it for him... not only that i did it because we both are not financil stablee so i couldnt take kare of my abbyy if i hadd it... but noww im so downn and i hate myself. after the abortion was over wen i woke up i woke up crying couldnt breath the doctors there had to calm me down and putt that breath mask on me my heart rate was off the roof... i know my baby was crying when all that was happening cause wen i woke up i hated myself immedialty and i still do todayy.... i try to tallk to my man about it but he keeps tellin me move on its hard kuz i kantt i wonder everyday how big i would be now and how my baby would look like and everything... i hate myselff for doing this to my babay becauee of my selfishness and love for my mann.. now i want to get pregnant so badd thinking ill be better but i know its not going to be like the first time.... when i was at the clinic before the procedure when i was putting the gown on i was praying to GOd to forgive me and i cried and told my babay im sorri for doing this and i asked my baby to forgive me toooo.... i hate myself and always will for what i did... i feel like im going crazyy for all thisss... im lost in my own worlddd..... everyday since the abrotion i miss my baby moree today i would of been almost 18 weeks n i kill myselff dreamin bout my babyy.... idk what to doo.. i kant talk to anyone bout it kuz they dont understndd... i wish i never did something like tht n i always told myself no matter what when i get pregnant i wouldnt have an abortion for anybody and loook what i diddd mann.. trullyy i hate myselff for it so after my abortion i promissed my selff and my baby angel in heaven that no matter what anyone saids or no matter in wht situation i am i am going to have the baby no matter what.... i miss my little angell sos muchhh... RIP to ma LIL ANGell mommy loves you no matter what....
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i HAVE the SAME problem...i had an abortion a week ago...and i hate myself..i did for my man..but he dont understand what im going trough right now..is like i wanna die simple as that...i feel like the worse person in this word..because i love my lil baby...till today . i cant think about anything else but him..im so depress ..i dnt eat or sleep..ooh my god i regret this so much..but i cant change things now..i cabt go back in time...i been taking pregnancy test to see if there any chances that my baby still there some where inside me.. :'( :'( :'( :'(
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I've been through an abortion, but under different circumstances...I wanted to have an abortion not because my man wanted me to. You've already asked for forgiveness, and you have been forgiven, just not by you. You must realize that you can't go back and turn the hands of time, also you can't constantly beat yourself up. Having another baby's not going to make it easier to deal with...if you can't really afford a baby your doing an injustice to your child. ..trust me , no matter how many children you have it's still going to cross your mind how old that child would be, or what it probably looked like. You need to stop looking at that ultrasound picture that's tourment!!!! You should've aborted your man!!!! Hope you have moved on an rid of him....Anyway, time will heal all wounds.
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Dear, I know you feel very uncomfortable with what you've done. But do you want to hear something amazing? Jesus died for this sin on the Cross! And it gets even better. He still forgives you and loves you even now! I should know. I made a horrible mistake once that caused another person to get hurt. I felt like I couldn't live with myself and I pondered jumping off a five- story building. But God said that He still views me as His daughter, and He views you the same way too! He doesn't want you to live in sin and shame forever, he wants you come to Him so that He can make you as white as snow again. Someone wise once said that we are not the sum of our fears and failures, but of our Father's love for us. And He does love us!
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