My boyfriend of four years and I have been sexually active for about 3 of those four years. He has only been sexually active with two people, his ex girlfriend and myself. I have only been sexually active with him. After a few months of us being sexually active, I asked him if he knew if his ex had any STDs or if he had ever been tested. He said he never asked her and that he never got tested but that he was sure neither him nor his ex had anything. Being that we always used a condom I didn't worry too much but it was always on the back of my mind. Last week I got tested because my doctor suggested it, when I told him about it and how relieved I was that I didn't have anything which meant he probably didn't have anything either he got super defensive and mad at me for have even taken the test in the first place. When I explained to him that I was worried because he had never asked his ex or gotten tested himself he said I was a hypocrite for getting involved with him in the first place if that is what I thought and that in fact he had gotten tested about 3 years ago. He never told me about this but he assumed he didn't have to if I trusted him. Am I wrong for being upset about this?
Hi MT,
You are not wrong for being upset.
He can't know for sure who his ex may have slept with. There is always the chance that he may have an STD, that he may not even know about. Most people don't know they have an STD immediately.
You're doing the smart thing. He should be pleased that you checked to find out that you are clean.