I had an abortion and felt i was forced into it and now feel

What country are you in? Do you have a job? Why should you lose custody?

I have experienced this it was really bad and i still cry last march my boyfriend thought i was pregnant because i missed a day or two of my period he said lets keep it well turns out i wasnt the next month came along and it turns out i was he was mean when i told him he said oh great now i have to pay for a f****** abortion i cryed and he was mean to me and called me names and sad my kid would be stupid because iam stupid so i was 71/2 weeks when i got it done he was so mean in the time inbetween anyway i didnt want anyone to know about this he said he would take care of me because the pill form is a painfull procedure and you bleed for about a month if not longer and besides if he was sick i went above and beyond for him i was like a personal maid and nurse anyway the pain was so bad i laid in the bathtub screaming when i saw all the blood i started crying it hurt to walk the next day because of the pressure and being so far along i should not of done the pill form anyway a couple days later the pain was still intense and it was hard to move around my bf said he will be back after work he did not come back he even went as far to lie when i called him i said i was alone and in pain and need you he said whatever ill be home soon then i call back and his friend answered and said they were going out and no1 cares about my problems i begged him to come back and he didnt so i was alone bleeding and later found out that i would have hemerged if i didnt go back to the er sooner his exuse was i nag him that is a way to put the blame on me anyway while was in the er he wouldnt come and the doctor seen how upset i was and gave me a script of depression and ant anxiety medication i feel like a sinner a murderer and i feel betryed it was the same thing my dad wanted he never wanted me to exist and left my mom for having me and my bf is also mean he puched and kicked me around my birthday and told me happy birthday oh and my due date was a week ago and i brought it up and he said that god it isnt happening

Hi April,
I am I. The same situation at the moment and I don't know what to do.
I'm not sure how far gone I am. And don't want to lose my boyfriend

Forget your boyfriend!!! I terminated a pregnancy and the guilt is literally killing me-literally. I can't live with myself. I hate myself for what I've done. Where's my boyfriend? After bullying me to "get rid of it" he's got a new girlfriend. I have no baby, no boyfriend (we were together 7 years), no self-respect. If there is a SINGLE doubt, a moment of hesitation, do not do it. You will ruin your life.

I was forced into an abortion almost 17 years ago, by an ex-partner. I had no support or counselling.
When i met my AMAZING husband 8 yrs ago, we tried for baby, but due to SEVERE PCOS, i never got pregnant. My ex abused me mentally and emotionally, and even now, i still regret not having strength to walk away and keep my baby.
I would say to ANYONE who is in same situation to be strong, walk away and save a life. I have to live with this for rest of my life, and am struggling SO hard to go on, especially now i cant give my husband a child of our own. X

Hi I am in a the same situation I have 2 children from a previous marriage of almost 11 yrs ago I had my tubes tied after my 2 child in 2010 I got pregnant by my current fiance but it was etopic so they had take it I long to get pregnant and knew that I wanted to have child with the man I love we broke up for a few months in 2012 and he moved back to his home town he started seeing someone else and then later broke up and we got back together later he told me she was pregnant and due the following year a few wks ago I found out I was pregnant over joyed because I didn't think I could have anymore children I told him he didn't seem to happy but I asked him if he was and he wasn't to just tell me because we are older and both have children from previous relationship he told me that was the case that he loved me and we would work it out 3 wks later we had argument he told me that day he didn't want our child cause he was having a baby this year and 2 babies in one year was jus crazi he said all I thought about was myself and not what he was going threw I said we could work on this together I was ready to move with him cause that's what we talked about he wants me to abort our baby and im so crushed and don't know what to do I love this man with all my heart and I feel for what he is going threw but I didn't do this by myself but he says it is all about him and he is doing what's best for him in his life right now I guess I am crazi for wanting to keep my child but I want to be with him as well it is hard when you love someone and give them your all and u see a side of them you never knew never thought they could treat you like that I know if I keep the baby I will loose him but I am already a so single mom and don't know if that's the life I want for this child I am in my early 30's I feel helpless and abandoned and feel like I don't want to love another man or try and start over again he do you react when the father of your does not even want to talk to u like u r a stranger says hurtful things but that minute u say somthing to them u are bad person pray for me

Hi April, I just wanted to say that when I was 19 I got pregnant and as soon as I found out my boyfriend within literally MINUTES made me call to make an appointment fir an abortion..I didn't even have a mine to think of my options! I ended up going through with the abortion and now almost 6 years later I still regret what I did. I had such resentment towards my boyfriend our relationship was NEVER the same... I stayed with him for 5 years, however, there were about 3 tunes I was so resentful towards him for having the abortion that older him but would go back. I finally broke it off with him for good, although remain good friends, and have been dating a man for the past year, I just found out I was pregnant about a week ago, and again he also said hr didn't want a kid..I am now 24 and my boyfriend is 32(will be 33 in August) I told him what I had gone through before and that this time I would make the final decision..he is making every excuse as to why I should have the baby, and that I can't take care of a baby and so on, however this time I am leaving the decision up to God. Unless when I see the Dr there its a medical reason to abort, I couldn't see myself going through that pain again as it destroyed me emotionally and now that IM older and know between the two of us we could raise this child I couldn't imagine going through with terminating another one of my babies lives. I truly hope that you can get though the pain and can only suggest therapy and support as doing nothing week only eat you alive! I hope your doing okay since the abortion and give you my thoughts and prayers.

G'day. I am in a very similar position to you right now and am seeking the same advice, or at least someone understanding I can talk to about this. Four weeks ago I found out that I was also pregnant, six weeks along. I was overjoyed and so excited, but my now ex partner, Jayden, he had quite a different reaction. For the first day after I told him the news all he did was cry and plead for me to get rid of it, stating that he's life was over. This quickly turned into threats of suicide. With great detail he told me of how if I did not go through with an abortion he would then intentionally smash he's car into a tree and kill himself. For two weeks I dealt with him, trying to reassure him that this was not the end of he's life, that if he wanted he could go on and live he's life and I would never ask a thing of him, explaining to him that I did not want an abortion and in doing so it would haunt me for the rest of my life. For two weeks this went on, and the whole time I had to keep he's car keys hidden and never let him out of my sight for fear of him following through on he's threats. As time went on he wore me down, I was exhausted and as a result yielded, but with conditions. He promised me that if I did this for him he would then owe me he's life, and that he would stay with me, always be there for me and that we could have another baby together come the end of the year. So, together to went for an abortion, and the only thing that gave me the strength to go through with it was my clinging to all the promises he made, the promises of us remaining together and the promises of being able to try for another baby come the end of the year. Only, as it turned out, only a few hours after the abortion he dumped me and went home to he's Mother, leaving me with nothing but a dreadful sense of hurt and betrayal. At first I did not think I could deal with it and had my own thoughts of suicide, but after a few days the realistic side of me began to kick in and I acknowledged the fact that although what happened was sh*t and although I understand I am always going to feel remorse in having had an abortion there is no reason I should also have to feel miserable any longer. Feeling miserable is such a sh*t feeling that none of us like, so I will not feel it anymore. I made a conscious effort to forgive him and to focus on my own future. I opened my mind to the fact that heck, if having a baby is really what I want I can still do that, I do not need him. There are plenty of blokes out there, and there are better blokes then him. I am going to move on. Most of the time I am putting up a brave front and everybody thinks I am fine. Heck, there are a few people around me who even think I am heartless. However, of a night time when I am all alone with my thoughts, that is when I start to think about what I have done and what I have lost, and that is when I want to cry. My tip for anybody out there, no matter what the problem: Fake happiness, even when you feel sad. In faking it you will gradually find yourself genuinely feeling it.

I too share your pain and anguish.

I had an abortion just over 12 years ago, and it was only when friends started having children this terrible sense of numbness, grief and loss set upon me some 6 years ago I would say.

I found out I was pregnant in early 2001, I told my partner at the time and he was over the moon, great. So then we told my parents and everything changed. I was rail roaded into the abortion, given the money and sent off on a train weeks later to terminate my pregnancy. I was 16 at the time, and thought my parents we're right, and I was wrong - I now know had it of been my choice I may of chosen differently, but I absolutely feel like I'm falling apart with this. I've done 3 rounds of counselling, waiting for my fourth now.... I've dealt with the anger, I've allowed myself to greive a little. One thing I cannot do, or even begin to deal with is the loss and emptiness I feel. I feel totally alone in this pain, now married I fear this will tell my whole life apart. I was 18 weeks when I lost my Baby!

It never goes away... If I could go back in time, would I change my decision? Who knows!

The same thing happened to me.........It's been three weeks now.........I am completely lost.........I really wanted to keep my baby.......My bf financial situations ......he doesnt want me to raise my baby on my own.....so he started to fight and it started as a emotional blackmail...........i cried cried..........did everything to save my first baby.......i never had children before i am 32 years old and i never become pregnant before.........so the feelings..........since i found out from the doctor.......it was already late.......i started to love this little miracle so much.....i wanted to see my baby........and raise my baby...........i had a trust to do anything ........but only one thing..........if anyone come and ask me to show the baby's dad i want him to stand there and say the truth.........that's all i asked him but he said no..........i even called his mom but couldnt talk .........wanted to meet his mother but he found out and started to scream at me so much.......so i didnt know what else to do...........i did this to my child without even wanted 1 percentage..............now.............yes........i think i am so depressed.......i have no energy to work.......i am going to my work everyday.......crying in front of the computer..........when i come back home on the bus my heart cries a lot............what can i do to get my child back...........did i make a wrong decison for this society......and family...........he text me one sorry after all this.......but i started to get upset and started to send him lot of nasty texts again he is upset at me...........my heart says he is a really good person he didnt do this in purpose...........but what is my future..........will i ever get rid of this pain .........depression?

I just had an abortion 1 week ago and I was 9 weeks nearly 10 , I already have 2 kids but really badly want a 3rd. We decided to go ahead with trying because I only just had an abortion 2 months earlier and was desperate to get pregnant again. I said to myself I won't let him manipulate me into thinking we can't have it as the other one wasn't planned and this one was. So we tried and I got pregnant straight away and I was soo excited and told some people, then it all started the SMS telling me how I'm forcing him and etc it wen on for weeks, so I buckled and did it but now I'm so depressed cause I know there will be no way he will let me do it again. I'm so sad all the time and he doesn't support meat at all just dismisses it and I'm so angry and even tried to break up but he won't leave. We have been together for 12 yrs and I can't believe He would treat me this way. I have no family and feel bad wingeing to my friends all the time. Don't how to get over it !!

what is wrong with you? why are you with this narcissistic psychopath that can seem to figure out how to put on a condom?????

Can we talk??

My family forced me into the same and ive been suicidal since, this happened 11 months ago

Hey..i know its been a year since u posted this..im in th same situation..i had my 2nd abortion 1 month ago..nd it was th same guy..nd the funny thing is that i am a dr, nd he s a dr too (a pediatrician!! How sarcastic is that!!) th first time we sd it was a mistake nd it ws jst After my dad died he sd i had to have an abortion cz we rnt ready nd we r in a vry religious country and tht if any1 found out or my family thy wd rly kill me (muslims) i dd wt he sd..i took th pills without ANY1 knowing..it ws very painful nd i kept bleeding but it ws over.. I kept crying for 2 months after it.. Then i got f*****g pregnant agn by th as****e!! I told him we could elope or get married nd i dont care if my family stoped talkin to me tht i wanted th baby.. Tht i loved him nd loved his baby soo much nd i ws rdy to give my life for th baby.. He kept sayin i had to get th abortion nd tht thr ws no way i ws gna keep th baby nd tht my parents wd kill me nd tht it was for my own gd! HE IS A DR A PEDIATRICIAN ND HE WANTED ME TO KILL MY BABY!! Nd we rnt that young we cd hv made it... But he kept bulliying me nd sayin no way i cd keep th baby nd tht he was gna handle it, he got me misoprostole nd made me take it.. I was in agonizing pain for a whole week.... Nd i cdnt tell anybody abt it cz he ddnt want any1 to know (it wd ruin his name in th hosp!)...then the baby went down.. I saw it.. I flushed it down the toilet... That ws less than a month ago.. Nd i cant forgive him... I keep cryin nd im not talkin to any1 nd nobdy knows wts goin on with me.. We broke up.. He dsnt even care... He sd he wd make it up to his future family nd his future kids (thts how god will forgive him!).. Till now i had 2 suicidal attempts.. Nd i think th third is gna be soon nd ill try a bigger dose this time i calculated it better..