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i had an abortion and hate myself for it and my partner wont let me grieve

By Guest | 2 posts, last post
Dr Artem Agafonov answered this What Are Your Options in Early Pregnancy (First Trimester)?
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Guest

i had and abortion 3 weeks ago at 9 weeks pregnant, and i have stopped hating myself for it since. i had to go to the clinic twice because the first time a started crying as i pulled up in the carpark, and they would do it while i was so unsure. my partner who was the one that wasnted me to have the abortion, said that i could keep it it would just be another thing on his plate and he would learn to deal eith it, which just felt emotional blackmail. he already has 2 children from a previous relationship and the woman he has the kids with still hangs around making my life hell whenever she can. on the morning of my second trip to the clinic, i turned my alarm clock off so we would wake up and hopefully miss the appointment, i did everything i could to try and not get there in time, as soon as we got in the car for the 5 hour drive i started cying again my partner started getting angry at me. i felt so dirty walking into the operating room, then the next thing i knew i was in recovery, when i got up to get dressed t took all the strength i had not to break down, i felt so mepty and dirty, i sill cant get that place out of my head, i hate myself, and whenever i get upset it get told not to worry about it, how do i not worry about it, i feel guilty, all i have ever wanted to be is a mother, i have had 2 misscarriages before and now when i have a healthy baby, i let myself be forced into having an abortion...

guest

Hi i no its a late reply but i was in near enought exactly the same postion, the only difference was that it wasnt my partner telling me to have an abortion, infact it was my mum. She came round to my house where me and my boyfriend live and started crying saying if i go through with this she will not cope an she will have to move away and that shes going mad thinking about it.

i felt guilty that i was putting my mum who i love with all my heart through so much stress that i listened to her even though it was the last thing i wanted to do, i still went ahead with it in the hope that my mum would be able to sleep at night.

my partner didnt want me to have an abortion but he also didnt make me feel guilty, he constantly reassured me that it was my choice and he will stick by me no matter what, i kept telling myself reasons why the abortion would be a good idea but in my heart i knew that it wasnt what we wanted.

its now been about 2/3 months since i have had the abortion and all me an my boyfriend want is a baby, my whole life iv dreamed of being a mother an i was stupid enought to let someone take that away from me.

We are planning for a baby next year after we have been on holiday and just hope that everyone is supportive of my decision whether they like it or not.

ps. im 20 and my bf is 24 we both have stable jobs, drive and our own home.

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guest


Hi,

I'm really sorry about what you have been through. I will pray for your healing. There is an organization that helps post-abortive women cope with their pain. It is called Rachel's Vineyard. God loves you!
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