I had an abortion 4 days ago, at 6 weeks and I feel devastated.When I found out I was pregnant I totally freaked out because my partner and I had just decided to take a break from one another, and I have 2 children with a fairly untrustworthy father.
I made the appointment to abort as soon as possible and within 10 days of finding out, I was going in for my consultation and same day treatment. I wish I'd not been given the treatment on the same day or I wish someone there had advised me that although I may feel relieved, I would also feel all that I now feel.
I am so so sad about what I've done and would do anything to turn back the clock and have my baby back. I felt so nauseaus and ill and couldn't wait to feel 'normal' again, but now I worry that I may never get over what I have done.
I just don't know how I can ever forgive myself for this terrible decision and find any kind of peace.
This does not define you. This does not make you a bad person. Would having a third baby be affordable? What would you and your kids have to give up to afford another child? Would the father have been involved?
Sweetie, the decision is done. You do not have to feel guilty and make yourself carry this cross. Live your life in a way that the sacrifice is worth it. Make sure the children you already have get to experience amazing things. Set up a college fund for them with the money you would have spent on a new child. Write your feelings down.
It's going to be okay.