Hi,
I KNOW my boyfriend is the one I want to do this with, (he's a virgin too by the way), so it's not a case of 'is he really the one', because I know he is. We've been together for 2 years and it's constantly on my mind that we haven't had sex yet. I don't feel rushed, but I'm mad at myself for over-worrying about my first time, causing me to avoid doing it. I know it's supposed to hurt and there may be bleeding, but when we tried it once a long time ago, he couldn't get his penis in at all- I'm assuming that was because I was probably nervous, I guess, (and therefore not 'wet enough'). His penis also curves down slightly, but he graciously called a sex hotline and talked to someone who told him that it would find its way in no matter what angle it was pointing, so that can't be the problem. I've thought about getting lubricant, but if my body's 'tightening up', there must be a reason, I don't want to force myself into doing it if it means I might break or rip something, (other than the hymen, of course- although I wish I could skip that part all together!). There's the fear of not knowing how much of the pain is normal and how much is too much to point the where we should be stopping... sorry this is so long, but if someone could give me some advice or a pep talk or something, I'd really appreciate it!
Thanks. :'(
I KNOW my boyfriend is the one I want to do this with, (he's a virgin too by the way), so it's not a case of 'is he really the one', because I know he is. We've been together for 2 years and it's constantly on my mind that we haven't had sex yet. I don't feel rushed, but I'm mad at myself for over-worrying about my first time, causing me to avoid doing it. I know it's supposed to hurt and there may be bleeding, but when we tried it once a long time ago, he couldn't get his penis in at all- I'm assuming that was because I was probably nervous, I guess, (and therefore not 'wet enough'). His penis also curves down slightly, but he graciously called a sex hotline and talked to someone who told him that it would find its way in no matter what angle it was pointing, so that can't be the problem. I've thought about getting lubricant, but if my body's 'tightening up', there must be a reason, I don't want to force myself into doing it if it means I might break or rip something, (other than the hymen, of course- although I wish I could skip that part all together!). There's the fear of not knowing how much of the pain is normal and how much is too much to point the where we should be stopping... sorry this is so long, but if someone could give me some advice or a pep talk or something, I'd really appreciate it!
Thanks. :'(
try clitoral stimulation and nipple sucking for around 15 to 20 mins, this will get you aroused , without having intercourse.
Agree that that is all you will do , then there will be no pressure to have penetration , so you wont be worried about that.
if bf sucks you nipples and plays with your clitoris for abound 10 ,15 20 mins, you should get sexually excited, and could even reach your climax and have your orgasm.
bf will enjoy watching as tht happens, you will get sexual pleasure and relief. and you will not be worried about penetration being too much for you, so no anxieties there.
after you have practiced this methed of pleasuring a few times, you may well find you are happy to try real intercourse.
you can always use lubricatoion too when you start so that your clitoris is not too dry.
bf can always releive himself afterwards for his satisfaction.
also of cousrse their is no risk of pregnancy if bf sitmulates your clitoris, and sucks your nipples.
Agree that that is all you will do , then there will be no pressure to have penetration , so you wont be worried about that.
if bf sucks you nipples and plays with your clitoris for abound 10 ,15 20 mins, you should get sexually excited, and could even reach your climax and have your orgasm.
bf will enjoy watching as tht happens, you will get sexual pleasure and relief. and you will not be worried about penetration being too much for you, so no anxieties there.
after you have practiced this methed of pleasuring a few times, you may well find you are happy to try real intercourse.
you can always use lubricatoion too when you start so that your clitoris is not too dry.
bf can always releive himself afterwards for his satisfaction.
also of cousrse their is no risk of pregnancy if bf sitmulates your clitoris, and sucks your nipples.
Having sex for the first time is a major step and a womans life. A lot people say it hurts the first time, but its not supposed to hurt, girls have to be turned on and be lubricated, and trust me it is not going to hurt. :O Its going to be easy to slip inside of you, i wont promise that you will completely like it because you do bleed, :$ but the bleeding depends on each girl. But if you feel comfortable with your boyfriend and feel that you want to take this step then you should, because if your unsure, you will not enjoy it and only cause more stress to the relationship...Hope this helps. :-D
One word.. Foreplay.
Lots and lots of foreplay.
If anything, it will get the two of you more comfortable and more willing to have sex.
I lost my virginity at 17 with the guy who is now my husband.. and at the time we had been dating for 3 years. And I could not bring myself to get naked infront of him, let alone have sex. We started with a make-out session, and very heavy touching after.. and it happened..
As far as the pain, I think it really depends on the couple. For me it was a slight pinch on the first thrust cause my husband is rather large.. and I still have that slight pinch 6 years later. The bleeding, I never had, so I have no input on that one.
Best of luck, hope my insight helped :-)
Lots and lots of foreplay.
If anything, it will get the two of you more comfortable and more willing to have sex.
I lost my virginity at 17 with the guy who is now my husband.. and at the time we had been dating for 3 years. And I could not bring myself to get naked infront of him, let alone have sex. We started with a make-out session, and very heavy touching after.. and it happened..
As far as the pain, I think it really depends on the couple. For me it was a slight pinch on the first thrust cause my husband is rather large.. and I still have that slight pinch 6 years later. The bleeding, I never had, so I have no input on that one.
Best of luck, hope my insight helped :-)