She doesn't want it. Not that she should tell her sister no, but then maybe she could turn off "Trading Spouses" that night and go to the gym later. If you want something, anything, you find ways to get it. Making people want it? Anyone who can figure that out could be a billionaire.
Yeah, I can see that, since like you said, this is not only your personal passion but your chosen vocation also. And I'm guessing that part of your job as a gym owner is the personal training aspect, which would require Person X to make a certain commitment to show up according to your appointments however many times a week. That's a little different than just the average Joe trying to fit everything in, and I can definitely see why in those cases you'd be frustrated. But your last line really IS true....it ISN'T your fault if someone else fails IF you have put in your effort and commitment and they have not. I've learned as a therapist that you can't "make" anyone else do anything they don't choose to do. I can't "make" an addict recover, no matter how good I am at my job, anymore than you can "make" a couch potato into a competitive athlete unless THEY put the effort in to follow the plan you set up for them.
From a clinical standpoint, I think fear is a big factor in people's motivation: perhaps your friend is afraid she can't do this, or there's some other fear back there that is helping her stay in her own way and avoid commitment. I know for me personally, that whole starting over from the beginning with running absolutely CHOKES me no matter how much I sit and think, man, I wish I was out running now. I broke through that barrier once a week or so ago but it's a continual process.
From a clinical standpoint, I think fear is a big factor in people's motivation: perhaps your friend is afraid she can't do this, or there's some other fear back there that is helping her stay in her own way and avoid commitment. I know for me personally, that whole starting over from the beginning with running absolutely CHOKES me no matter how much I sit and think, man, I wish I was out running now. I broke through that barrier once a week or so ago but it's a continual process.
BINGO!! Therein lies the gray area and the problem I see with some fitness enthusiasts who do look down on the "less thans" of the world for not being totally into it. I've seen the attitude here a few times during debates about running, but it was always there at the quilting forum during talks about Gallowalking and stuff. I remember getting into it over there with Sheldon, who I respect greatly, because he made a comment about a "whale" in the pool taking up room in "his" lane when he was trying to train. My point was, I know you're very competitive, but perhaps that was all the "whale" could handle and I couldn't understand looking down on her for doing something other than sitting on the couch.
I think anyone doing more than nothing is benefitting themselves, so maybe that's why I get a little defensive when I see people making comments about how bad someone "wants it." Maybe some people do but their own fear or self doubt holds them back. One never really knows another person's mindset, ya know??
I think anyone doing more than nothing is benefitting themselves, so maybe that's why I get a little defensive when I see people making comments about how bad someone "wants it." Maybe some people do but their own fear or self doubt holds them back. One never really knows another person's mindset, ya know??
Just some random thoughts. When talking about "less thans", there is always someone better than me, you, etc. That motivates me. The people at this site motivate me. But the desire, drive. discipline, and commitment come from within. Without those four things nothing will motivate me. We all have different goals wether it's to run 30 MPW or workout twice a week. We all started from gound zero. We may have not liked what we were doing to start but we build on what we have. There is no instant results/gratification. You must earn it. I comment anyone for doing more than nothing. Everyone.
Physical fitness is a commitment too few people make in my opinion. If you want the look, the helath benefits and the feeling you get from being in exceptional physical condition then you best be ready to make the sacrifice in time and effort. There are no shortcuts - you get out of it exactly what you put into it.
In a nutshell Rob !!!
Funny, we had this old Jesuit who was our religious education teacher and sports master. He would often say the same thing "whether religion or sport, you get out of it what you put into it"
Funny, we had this old Jesuit who was our religious education teacher and sports master. He would often say the same thing "whether religion or sport, you get out of it what you put into it"
I don't have much to say, except that this has been an excellent thread.
Very, very, good stuff here.
Very, very, good stuff here.
I agree wholeheartedly.
I think one of the things that keeps people from continuing is that the "rewards" are so long in coming. Rather than measuring and being thrilled at the small successes, they want to instantly see that Jolie/Pitt body that they crave.
It is demoralizing when you have been running for awhile and have a bad run or can't seem to make it to the mileage you want due to injury or weather or family--measure the small successes. The fact that I'm out there just walking hurts my pride, but I remember it's better than nothing.
I think one of the things that keeps people from continuing is that the "rewards" are so long in coming. Rather than measuring and being thrilled at the small successes, they want to instantly see that Jolie/Pitt body that they crave.
It is demoralizing when you have been running for awhile and have a bad run or can't seem to make it to the mileage you want due to injury or weather or family--measure the small successes. The fact that I'm out there just walking hurts my pride, but I remember it's better than nothing.