Hi,
Iam a 25 yr old graduate and have just completed my masters degree. I should be happy but every time I drink I end up fighting and getting into trouble. Alcoholism is high in my family with two cousins and 2 uncles and both grandas all being alcoholics. When I drink my whole personality changes and I get very violent, agressive and obtuse with everyone around me and then I cant remember anything. I have woken up in jail cells, with blood on me or with me being badly beaten up with no memory. I have been like this for as long as I can remember and have lost many relationships due to the way alcohol makes me behave. I drink heavily at lest twice a week to the point where I can not remember anything.
Anxiety and paranoia then hit me for at least 7 days after a drinking session so i pretty much feel like I m losing my mind all the time which is really hampering me in my new job. Also I struggle to make new relationships with nice girls because I forget how to really interact at a personal level with women after being with a girl for so long. So I just have meaningless flings which evolve around drinking.
I have never felt more lost in my life and really and truly dont know what to do. I have tried changing my friend base but keep going back, I have tried stoppin drinking but rarely last over 4 days. I am now at the stage where I wake up and instantly think about drinking which has me scared. I think i need help but I dont know where from.
Am I depressed, I need to get to the route of this somehow. Any advice or similar stories would be greatly appreciated so I can pull myself out of this rut, stop drinking and change my life for the better.
you're not going to like what i am about to say.....but i will say it anyway.
you CAN stop drinking and change your life. you're just choosing not to. it's easier said than done, i know. but please know that the second i changed my life, was the best thing i have ever done for myself, next to marrying my husband.
but how do i do it, i have got a bad reputation. I have tried to go to mass and just keep relapsing.
going to church isnt going to change anything. you have to make the right steps - the first one being the actual decision to get clean.