About 4 years ago I had sex for the first time. For the first year sex was great, then one day as my boyfriend went to enter something happened - I still have no idea what - that made me feel as if I was so tight he couldn't enter, it was very painful and shocking as we had never had any problems sexually before this. From then on every time he tried to enter it felt like there a scab being torn through inside of me.
I went to the doctor who said I looked fine and maybe it was just a yeast infection. My boyfriend said even though it felt extremely tight for me, to him I didn't feel any different. My boyfriend was so patient which was great because sometimes our attempts at sex hurt so bad I would cry in frustration.
While the pain has subsided for the most part over the last few years sex is still uncomfortable for me and I've completely lost any desire to have sex. My boyfriend is now my husband and is still patient as ever, but I feel guilty because I never feel like having sex and when I do it's not comfortable - no matter how much foreplay and lube we use sex always burns and I always have swelling afterwards. Sometimes I can't even get through 3 minutes of sex before it becomes too much.
I've been back to the doctor a few times and even changed doctors and all of them say I look fine and my tests come back normal. I had been on Yaz for almost 5 years so my current doctor recently switched me to Loestrin and gave me an anti-inflammatory to take for a month but so far none of that has helped.
Has anyone else had this issue and if so was your doctor able to diagnose you or have you found any solutions to help/solve the problem?
Oh and I don't know if this applies but I've taken Accutane twice and the second course finished a few months before I began having my issues.
Hi honey! 1st of all BIG HUGS! 2nd. Boy are you talking to the right person! I had a VERY active great sex life, before I had my 1st son! When I was giving birth I tore SO much that I had 50 stitches internally and externally. My doctor said - at my 6 week check up - that I was "Fine to start sex" And I tried! My husband couldn't even enter me! My eyes went into the back of my head, I was sobbing in pain, and thus began a VERY painful and stressful journey! I tried - unsuccesfully - to have sex after that and it was worse! I went to one old gynecologist - I was desperate as my husband was loosing patience - and this man didn't wear gloves or even lubricate his fingers, he tore me SO bad, I bled ALL the way home! I was in SO much pain - I had to get my father to take care of my baby and he heard a little bit of why. So after that traumatizing event, I decided NOT to have sex for a bit! EVERYTIME my husband got the "look" I would look at him and say "Are YOU KIDDING ME?!" and for a year this went on! I changed doctors and found a really nice gynecologist who diagnosed me with Vaginismus and that the biggest reason why I was suffering SO much was from that initial - or perhaps even the first 3 times!
He explained to me that when my husband hurt me SO bad, my brain - who's job is to make you NOT have pain - looked at my husband as the one that was trying to hurt me. and the 2nd and 3rd time just solidified that. So just like your brain telling you NOT to put your hand in the fire, it was now telling me to NOT have sex! It wasn't on purpose, it was my brain doing her job! My relationship had become VERY acidic! I felt like an IT and my husband didn't make me feel loved or like a woman - as he thought I was doing this on purpose!
I endured SO much - vaginal injections into the scars to soften them and then being told to go home immediately and have sex while the freezing was in - to exfoliate the scars! It was HELL - I not only still had pain, BUT I had gone with my husband, so he heard the sex part and heard the doctor giving me those orders and expected it. so I also had to get my brain past this man trying to "hurt me" It did NOT work!
I STILL suffer - from time to time - with it! BUT it is NO where like it was! so there is light at the end of this tunnel! Since they have ruled out other things - like endometriosis - then I truly suspect this is what you are going through!
Ask your doctor to send you to a pelvic floor physio therapist - the profession is growing and growing as there are SO many women now with vaginal dysfunction - tears with larger baby's, menopause, endometriosis etc. These women were my life savers! they give you the tools to relax and work out those kinks! There are also vibrators and phalic inserts that they have - for you to teach your brain that this is NOT painful! The phalic inserts are made of wax, so they warm up and you go from VERY small to regular size! And then you insert these and just learn to relax! I was going to tell you to get them on line! BUT I really want you to see a physiotherapist first OK? I PROMISE you that relief is here - for your both - and you WILL start feeling like a woman again and an active member of your relationship! Please let me know if I can be of more assitance! Good luck honey!