Masterbation Addict: written by a woman

hi all
This is my first time to write in this forum and im hoping to share with people who are going through the same issue and to find a suitable solution to my problem
I am 26yrs old and i have been masturbating from the age of 12
it all started after gettin my period.. i started masturbating by pointing the water pressure on my clit.. i enjoyed it soo much which led me into doing it nearly every day.. i used to sit for hrs in the toilet.. i hated myself i knew it was wrong but i couldnt stop
when i was 18 i had sex for the first time.. it was so painful i hated it ,went home n just went bk to masturbate
i tried sex a couple of times but still couldnt feel anything but pain
by the time i became 24 i got used to faking orgasms in relationships.. also by then i got a vibrator and loved it even more...
i always felt i was frustrated never had a long time relationships.. which led me to become anti social and angry
i knew there was something wrong with me

Finally i did alot of research and most said that masturbating is fine
until i came across this web

i felt exactly the same as the person who wrote this
the part when he/she talks about losing self control really opened my eyes
i lack confidence, my self esteem is so low,, all this from becoming a masturbation addict!!!
i decided i had to quit and i threw away the vibrator and talked to my fiancé which is doing a great job in supporting me and tryin
soo hard to make me orgasm but still i cant
i dont feel anything.. and its makin me more depressed
its only been 3 weeks since i last masturbated and im tryin so hard to feel it but

my main concern is
did i damage the sense part of my vigina and thats why i cant feel anything during intercourse or do i need more time to adjust then
i will be able to feel???

please help
this is really depressing me alot!!

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