my bipolar girlfriend left after close to two years without a word

Me and my girlfriend lived together almost two years in that time she has cheated been verbally and physically abusive toward me. For the firs five month she would disappears for days stay out all-night and yes she was using and drinks a lot. I would enable her in hopes to keep her home it did not work. She would cheat on me with her ex and take the car while I was sleep and some time would not bring it back to the next day. I have also used with her and spend my money so that she would not go elsewhere to use. When I would try and stop her from leaving she would get very violent so I would let her go. She said all the time that she loved me and could not imagine a day without me. She did not work I had a good job and she didn't not have to work sometimes it got very tight because of the addiction but we managed or I did. She would be gone when I came in from work and come home when she felt like it called me the fun police and would say no one is the boss of her. She so called male friend that act like he was my friend to would get her before I got home from work and go get high I’m tried to stop it but they just would not it created a lot of conflict in the relationship. She would always say nothing was happening and I would tell it will come out if there was. At one point we were not being intimate because she was having very bad pain and once she went to the doctor she found out that she had a STD and blamed me. I got get out and I was clean and she had told her mom she had not been with anyone. I had ask her to leave which was a very bad thing cause she didn't want to and I made her so she told me she was going to f—k up my life up and she told them that I tried to kill her at one time but she left that night went and got high came back the day wanting to get high more and said I was having no part of it. so she stayed the week end and was telling that I was putting dot on the wall to mess with her once she did leave finally and I let her mom know that I was clean no STD a week later while she was staying at her grandmother house she went and put out an order of protection on me. When I went to court to tell the story it was dismissed and she came back about a day later saying that she wanted to come back she loved me and this was her home and she wanted to be there so I took her back it was close to Christmas she had a episode and wanted to drink I would not give her the money so she started an argument say I was putting chemical in something make her have sores on her mouth. She said she was unhappy and wanted to leave so I told her if that what she wanted so she called someone she said it was her mom and I left to drop off Christmas gifts when I got back she was gone and I have not heard a word from her since. It'd been six weeks I still care for her but I don't know what to think she has always come back never stayed away this long without communication. I don't feel she will be back this time and I do still care for I don't know why but I do. I have mixed feeling maybe this is a blessing in disguise. A part of me say I hope she does not come back I'm afraid I my take her back their has been so much that I have left out she stole the numerous tome even talk the company vehicle that was given to me for work  while I was sleep and it goes on...Need some advice