My husband is a cybersex CHEAT

I just found out this morning, so I have a doc appt tomorrow, just to confirm there, and I will have her give me a Rx for some vitamins. I did take a multi-vitamin today though :-D

I am definitely hoping for a completely different pregnancy...like I said, my last was horrible, well worth it, but still horrible and miserable! Keeping my fingers crossed that I don't get the sickness like I did with her....ugh %-)

Me too !

I was an only child and I have all the psycho babble stuff they talk about, to prove it. I had to be a good little boy because "Not Me" didn't live at my house. It was always MY car we took when a bunch of us went anywhere, and still is. I never get to enjoy riding with someone else and letting THEM worry about the strange noise it's making, 200 miles from home.

I've always been the one in charge too. I joined the army and they made me the group leader on the train to basic training. I finished electronics school and they made me an instructor. I had to take charge of 200 troops in the field. I had to throw a major out of my classroom for disrupting the (MY) class. I had to look unfazed when the chief signal officer (a two star general) dropped in to visit MY class unexpectedly. As a lousy corporal I was a platoon sergeant and the company field first sergeant. Jobs that were normally a master sergeants duty. At 2:00am I was chewing out two MPs who came into my barracks and woke up the whole platoon looking for ONE guy. They were SUPPOSED to wake me up and I'd get him for them.

I got back home and I was the only guy in the TV shop who had actual school training in electronics, so guess who had to fix whatever anyone else couldn't? Who had to smooth out customer relations when someone else promised them something that wasn't right?

I never got to be the one with the dumb look on his face while someone else worried about how to fix the problem. Or laughed as I said "Eets not my yob".

Does any of that sound familiar?

When I was 60 my TV shop was earning me about 80% of minimum wage and I couldn't afford health insurance. An electronics manufacturer came to town and I RAN over there looking for a job. After being hired, I learned the production manager was worried about hiring me because he didn't think I would be able to work FOR someone after being the one in charge all my life. Are you kidding me? I was so happy to NOT be the one who had to worry about getting it done. Why wouldn't I be? They were paying me 5 times what I had been earning in my TV shop AND giving me health insurance that would have cost me $1400 a month when I was self employed. But I couldn't buy it anyway due to my previous heart bypass surgery.

I often wonder how nice it might have been to have an older sister. Not so much an older brother because they can be pretty mean I think. I wonder how it would have changed the "me in charge" thing I lived with all my life.

My neighbor was a good Catholic who had a half dozen kids. After his wife died he sold his house and went to live with his daughter until he died. That sounds nice to me.

bambi27 wrote:

What's that?!!!

I wondered where you guys were.
You missed the invitation?
I was thinking you didn't want to play with us anymore.
Me and Beeb have been lonely over there.

Oh boy...does that sound like me....I'm the boss...my husband and my bestfriend will tell you that. I am bossy...but as I have grown up, I try not to be so much, but sometimes, it just comes so natural XD

I can see the 'only child syndrome' setting in with my daughter, so I am really glad we can put an end to that, soon....one of the main reasons we wanted another...

I, also, have always been the leader, the organizer. I like being in control. For me, I would rather drive my car then ride in anyone else's, because I know I am in control of my own vehicle. (I'm a bit of a worry wart too)

I, also, went to school for teaching. I don't teach, but I do have my elementary education teaching license. I, sometimes, think that was my only child nature too...wanting to be the boss. Sometimes I put so much stress on myself trying to DO everything myself, that I just get exhausted and lash out. Lately, my husband and I have sharing a lot more of the household duties, rather than me feeling like I have to do everything so that it is done right....he's not so bad at doing laundry and whatnot ;-)

Hey, you know, I already have the girl, so as long as she turns out a success, we can depend on her to take care of us in our old age....that sounds good to me :-) That's it....you needed to have a girl...you should have gone for a three pointer XD

So, where's the Comedy Club????

https://www.steadyhealth.com/topics/the-comedy-club

Boy they sure are right about that only child thing ain't they?
It's uncanny how much we are alike just because of that o.O

Just clicking around and seen your post babyblues. Congratulations :-D


To add to the only child bit, I'm not an only child and I don't feel the need to be in charge all the time. I tend to be but just had it drummed into me to share I suppose.

Get me on the football pitch in my reffing kit though and no one can touch me, what I say goes or else the cards come out ;-)

Thanks Kingfreeze :-D

I think Njoynlife and I suffer from "Only Child Syndrome"...it is amazing how alike we are just from being the only child....I guess the experts are right ;-)

You have answered yourself but you are not seeing it---it is CYBERSEX-- its not real-- if one of those girls offered to meet him he'd probably run a mile--- CYBEr is NOT real--- he's right it is a thrill to get attention from other people--- its a thrill to ACT out things that you will never do in real life. You have said clearly that you have a good sex life so there isnt a problem -- he just likes the thrill.
I must say if you went off and cancelled any service from my phone or anything else there would be an almighty row-- you are both adults --- you are his wife not his mother--- you do not have the right to do things in that way--- get agreement or leave it alone-- what you did will not solve anything-- if he was really deceiving you or cheating on you-- which from your evidence he is not-- he would simply go and get another phone that you would know nothing about--- and do not take that as a cue to start getting paranoid because that is the route to real problems

Observer - you are WAY late to this post, and actually I have not been on the site in over a year! My two kids, husband, and work take all my time. Let me just say, that YES, I can take his phone away, and YES, I can take internet off his phone, and YES, I can control everything he does....you know why...because I am his WIFE and if he wants to keep his family, he won't &%*k with it anymore! he actually hasn't, and has not 'betrayed' me for over two years. Little do you know, I do everything, bills, bank account, and I control the money....so I WOULD know if he got another phone. He can't hide stuff from me, atleast for very long. I am a very very smart woman! I am curious, are you married? If not, its probably best...because marriage is a partnership and a committment...it is NOT seeking out 'thrills' on the internet, while your spouse is sitting by idle with no idea. Obviously, you are a man too...that shows from your idiotic response to my original post...which again, was over 2 years ago....and is done and over with. We are still married, and will be for a very long time, as long as he does not betray me again. Period.

Hey BabyB, It's good to hear from you again.

I don't need to ask how you're doing, I think you told us.

 

Hey njoynlife! I know! It has been a loooong time. This came up in my email so I thought I would see if it were any of you responding, and it was the "observer", and I just couldn't zip my lip :)

yes, things are great on the homefront...hubby has done a great job at earning my trust back and we're are going strong, coming up on 41/2 years married, 10 years together! We have a now 6 year old and almost 2 year old! I cannot believe it....how time flies. I am glad that I can say it seems like ages ago that I even posted this....thank goodness I didn't have to come back and repost!

I hope you are doing well!!!

Okay, there is something that he is not getting from you. Plain and simple. So? either you dump him for his sex habit? Or you could get your freak on in a way that turns him on (you do that by asking him in a relaxed way, btw) Because what it boils down to? You done got married to a freak, so either get freaky (because you love him) or get out.

Hey there njoynlife! I could really use you guys again! Are you still around with Bambi and bbfeet?

So, fast forward to now...I just read all these posts from 2009 - now...almost 4 years since my husband 'cheated' on me. Things have been a little rocky (due to a new baby, stressful work/money situations, major hip surgery for my husband, then a Vicodin to now suboxone addiction battle with him) but we have remained strong through all that, until a month and a half ago, I found yahoo chats and pics from a girl he responded to on Craigslist, and a dating site profile, after all this time (and I did have checked his phone periodically since the initial betrayal). He admitted doing it for a little bit in that time period but quit on his own, supposedly for a month. Anyway, long story short (I'm ready to give the whole dish), I give him ONE more chance and I even tried to nurture his sexual addiction (which I believe now has something to do with it). 2 nights ago I find he has once again joined a dating site! I was devastated. Been through a lot of emotions, done a lot of talking (with the ahole). I'd like to talk more with you all! You helped me so much last time. I was reading through the posts and it gave be strength NOW to actually move on. I've told him I want a divorce. I won't be here while he figures this out (btw, told me he thinks he might just want to be single)!!! Pssssshhhhh really!?!?! . 11 years together, 5 years married, and your now thinking the married life isnt for you!?! he says he just isnt happy, and he has tried to blame me some but i get pissed and tell him he has no right to turn it on me! he wont admit to any type of sexual addiction, although his past history proves he has an addictive personality. I'm done and I need help to move on. I'm so scared for my girls (two now btw), 7 and almost 3!
Hope to hear back from you!

I need you guys!!! :(

Hi babyb, it's good to hear from you again. Maybe not like this, but still.
BB has not been around for a while now. I haven't heard from her since shortly after she got married again. Last I heard from her she was really happy with a terrific guy.

Bambi is still around but she doesn't speak to me. I don't know if she hears from BB any more.

I certainly don't want to tell you what you should do but it sounds like things are looking pretty bad for keeping it together. Craigs List, dating sites? Those are pretty hard to overlook or forget about.

I'm sure you'll do what you need to do. You have the only child thing going for you.

Maybe Bambi will jump in too. I have seen some posts from her but I don't think she monitors the site too closely. I PM'd her about one I felt she could help and it sat in my outbox for quite a while.

Keep us (me?) posted anyway, I'll help where I can.