My husband is a cybersex CHEAT

Yes I agree. No more chances.You would be giving him a chance to do it a again. Besides he probably has an extra phone that you don't know about. I am going through almost the same thing. My children are grown and daughter knows what i am going through. She heard daddy tell me that he wasn't going to stop doing the internet surfing porn.
IT REALLY UPSET HER. She put in her advice to him, anything other than watching video clips was cheating.....watching live webcams and cyber live chat rooms were cheating.I wish you all the best.

I am saddened by your story!!! and even more sadden that you are not willing to do what it takes to stop the anguish you are experiencing. Husbands are not husbands unless they are being husbands! Just because you have a child and etc... and your enchanted by the concept of marriage, family, and forgiveness. Unfortunately, he is only your child's father, and not really a husband for you to enjoy. His path and journey is his, I do believe because of the choices he makes that do not include you; furthermore embarrass you and all that you stand for. Let me say this also, If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything. Do not allow too many episodes of the same to continue. I believe you have already. But I encourage you to cry, and hurry up cry! You are going to have to get into some type of survival mode. Thank God that you detected and discussed the fornifications within the first year. Help yourself. and to help him lady, you've must implement severe consequences. Let him fulfill the fantasy of his desires/cheating for excitement. He will not serve as the husband anyway, Let him go about his business. You politely state your expectations, and declare he has failed. Yep! been there done this.

YOU ABSOLUTELY NAILED IT PERFECTLY.

GIRL PLEASE, YOU GETTING PLAYED. FOOL FOR HIM. SORRY!!! THINK ABOUT IT.... YOU'VE HAD A YEAR!
YOU PLAYING GAMES TOO!!! HE IS BEING COY, HE IS NO LONGER ATTRACTED TO YOU. GUILTY, AND SORRY YES. BUT THATS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH!!! BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS, YOU NEED TO GET READY FOR DAUGHTERS BIRTHDAY, CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, SET UP VISITATION WITH HIS DAUGHTER, AND GET READY FOR THE NEW LIFE YOU ARE PURSUING FOR 2014. IT REALLY MAKES ME SICK, THAT WOMEN ARE SO WEAK TO THE PLOYS OF MEN THAT ALLOW THEIR LITTLE HEAD TELL THEIR BIG HEAD WHAT TO DO! AND WANNA USE THE HEART FOR SYMPATHY AND FORGIVENESS. UGH!!!!! YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE! AND HURRY UP BEFORE YOUR DAUGHTER GETS MUCH OLDER, AND THEN HER BUTT BE ACTING LIKE YOU! LOST IN THE SAUCE. GET TOUGH AND BE LIKE " YOUR NOT A MAN, YOUR A w****", " I AM NO LONGER ATTRACTIVE TO YOUR A**, YOUR A TERRIBLE HUSBAND". BUT IF YOU WANNA BE A WET PUPPY, DO YOU! NOT CUTE FOR YAH!

you are not confused! 
you are just silly.

I am a married man, almost 2yrs now and we have a three months old baby. This is a little bit different, my wife had accused me for almost the same thing because she seems not to have accepted that I broke up with my x girl friend after we got married. I have never cheated on her or talk to the x we even never had sex with in the first place. So every time I receive a phone call and the caller is a lady, she seems unhappy regardless of whoever called, co-workers, my supervisors or even sales agents etc. She even went ahead and acted s selfish in front of my former co-worker who is the age of my mother and saying that she's your friend and I don't know if you were f*****g her before me.

I cannot do without the internet on daily basis, read online, buy and sell, pay bills, online banking and classes except face book. I had to delete my profile so as to limit suspicion, one day I was playing you tube videos as well as downloading them using dvdvideosoft, its just any other software and once the download is complete it produces one of those popping sound and it makes it sounds like chatting, she gets angry and keeps bringing up past stuff that I am secretive and telling me to do whatever I want to do. That day I got so angry and couldn't control my anger and I felt like just cheating to satisfy my anger but I can't do it because it's something that will lower my personality.

Your husband seems to be interested in something else, have you checked if he watch porn alone when you are not around? To me he seems to be looking around and willing to try anything that comes up and especially if he is sending out his personal photos. He is one of those types who can just go out and f**k in the car then run up and do the same to you just to cover up. At this point, just give him some time and try the best you can to occupy his selfish ambition, change your appearance and see if you can try something new in bed. Don't corner him to accept his mistakes and try not revenge because he is looking for something to use as a scape goat.
Based on your story, you seem to be a nice lady and a stronghold to your family. Right now focus on your daughter because husbands may screw you up but your daughter will never do that.

Hi babyblues,
Believe it or not, my fiance and I have been together 7 yrs and I there have been 3 (most recently 3rd time) main instances of Facebook/cyber cheating/sexting. The messages and d*** pics he sent made my stomach turn and heart crumble- these were things we shared and he let other little b*tches in, girls who were not even a 10th of the woman I am! Im studying, I'm attractive and tall, I bend over backwards for him too and all I wanted was honesty and love. He has had a job in the past where he was making alot of money and then we've been through -$ in our bank accounts yet, I've always stuck by him; he's my best friend. Recently however, my gut instinct as per had been bothering me so I bit the bullet (long story short) a "friend" from work had received alot of inappropriate texts from him, she hadn't replied in fact; she'd told him to talk to me etc. I was absolutely gutted! I was so sick of the computer habits (click quickly as I walk in etc), always on his damn phone, he had a "not normal" amount of porn he constantly downloaded...right now, I'm sitting home alone in the unit his mother owns, we rent, and I've asked him to leave until I can decide what to do. He is extremely remorseful and ashamed and obviously doesn't want to lose me but after all those times- hell, I don't think I'm even over the 1st instance let alone this now. The images of the texts, the fights, the pain and tears are so raw in my mind. I called off the engagement the other night and gave my beautiful ring back, telling him, if I decide to leave I'm taking it but if there's a crazy chance in the universe I do stay, perhaps when we hit a better place one day he can re propose to a relationship not built on deception and secrets. He agreed in tears and left this afternoon to his mum's house. I didn't want to go to my parent's house as I don't want to involve anyone yet- people are judgmental and biased and if the outcome is that you stay, family etc will never look at the cheater the same. I want him to experience what it's like to not have me at all- something he's never felt. Also our beautiful dog adores him so he also knows he will miss her if he cannot change.

All I can say is that although my heart broke and I began crying again reading your post, it felt so supportive knowing I wasn't alone- especially similar circumstance!
Being apart is helping me decide- he has no contact with me until I'm ready. I've been seeing a counceler for a while due to the last few times so obviously more appointments with her, I've been writing in a journal, just how the day went, how I felt about the situation and what I wanted that day. I'm also doing a pros and cons list and what needs to be drastically changed if I'm to let him have me 1 last time. I've always said if I get cheated on, no chances- out! Funny how it changes and how hard it is when you're in love!
Wishing you all the support you can get, feel free to email me so we can share. Listen to your gut feelings- they're always right and your heart is a good thing to follow too, even if it means having to face the whole "forgiveness" mountain and having to learn to trust. Just weigh in your love and commitment to him- as long as he is demonstrating he knows what a rare diamond he is gambling away if he thinks about cheating again. xx

This guys is spoiled rotten! He walks on you because you have allowed it - you're bending over backwards like you said...all for him to trample on your feelings. See how he likes it when you decide to live stream yourself doing any number of things online for money and see how he likes the shoe on the other foot.

This sounds exactly like my husband. He said he would stop multiple times but hasn't. I don't know what to do.

Hi Miss Bambi,

I havent had time to read all the posts but your first post certainly paints a clear picture of man that is not committed to the relationship. I am very sorry to say this.

When I counsel couples professionally I let them know that viewing pornography together is healthy and normal, as is being aroused by sexy images when your partner is not around.

However there is a big difference between that and what your partner is doing.  

there are two worrying facts about this case.

The first is that he marks his profile as 'unmarried'. No happily married man would do that.

The second is that he continues this activity despite you repeatedly making it clear that it upsets you.

This shows a complete lack of respect for your feelings and lack of commitment to the relationship in general.

addition to cybersex is real and can be treated but that addiction doesnt fit with the above two facts you mentioned.

I must say that in my 10 years experience as a therapist if your husbands pattern continues there is a strong chance of infidelity.

This is a relationship that needs urgent couples counseling or perhaps Babyblue you should just walk away.

Hope this post has been of some help.

Good luck and stay strong!

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Hi... I’ve just ended 14 years of torment. My partner always chatted with his ex partners. He said that he always liked to stay friends as there was no animosity. But then he started texting different women. When I found the evidence he would say it’s nothing. It means nothing but I would say how it hurt me. He even called me a jealous woman.
I should have ended it years ago with him but my heart ruled my mind. I loved him so very much . He would always be able to make me feel like I was the guilty one for prying.
After 10 years I decided enough was enough. I caught him chatting to a philapean woman, which was one of many. I got my own place and he ended up moving in with me as he said he really loved me (huh!) my confidence was low as I just lost my father. We were fine for a short while then last year I made up a fake profile on FB. He fell for it and sent me naked pics. He asked me to send one, I did of myself with my thumbs up! He didn’t know what hit him. He was shocked!
Then there was the time I was going out before him, but I had forgotten something and came back, already he was in the bathroom with his wotsit in his had! I went mad ! Told him to get out and leave. We did split up for a while. And I did miss him. The women that was on the internet was the problem between us . I let him back to live with me. But this time he gave up work. Said he got the sack. He didn’t ... I was working very hard up really early and still cooked cleaned and cared for him. Then 3 weeks ago I had a gut feelingZ I left on my tablet. It recorded a whole day of him with another philapean woman. And yes having sex too. I heard everything. It wasn’t the same man I knew. He was very different. I let him stay on the sofa for a few days then when he came home I refused to let him back in. I had enough. Told him to go. He didn’t want too. Who would when your being looked after like a king and not spending no money. I wouldn’t let collect anything told him someone else has to .
I wasted my time on this man. I should of got rid the first time. A leopard never changes their spots. Each day I struggle to get through. It’s been 3 weeks tomorrow. I feel my life is over. I’m 55.