It started for me when I was 17 yrs old. I wanted to try weed. That was the catalyst that triggered my addiction to drugs. The next step 4 me was valium and alcohol. I liked the way valium made me feel "nice". Then, when I was about 21, I had my appendix removed. Before surgery I was given morphine to relax me. I absolutely loved the euphoria that this gave me.
But my downfall was when my friends started injecting nubain. In my mind their was no way I was using a needle. They literally chased me around the room trying to stick me w/ a needle. Of course, I gave in. The worst decision of my life. The fear I had of needles were gone. I used nubain for a few yrs, and spent a ton of money doing it.
Then, one day, dilaudid appeared. I had no idea what dilaudid was. Didn't stop me from crushing it up and injecting it. Oh, the rush!!!! Made me feel wonderful. Reminded me of the time I was given morphine b4 surgery.
Believe it or not, I stopped everything and started lifting weights when I was about 30 yrs old. I was clean for the first time, and feeling awesome. Until.. I heard of oxycontin. I remind you my fear of a needle was gone because of nubain.
I got my hands on a 40mg oxycontin, crushed it up, and stuck it in my arm. WHOA!!! There was that "rush" again. I absolutely loved that feeling.
2 yrs, and lord knows how much money later, I stopped oxycontin when I heard of methadone. To me, it was less expensive, and stopped the cravings of the oxy's.
I had a few friends who were on methadone. Of course the saying "Birds of a feather, flock together" is absolutely true. But, I accept total responsibility of my actions. I was aware of the withdrawal symptoms and how hard it was to get off methadone, but I figured " I can do it".
I got up to about 80mg of methadone about 4 times a week. I did this for about 1 1/2 yrs. I tried to quit cold turkey and felt like I wanted to die. I knew a guy who did hang himself trying to quit cold turkey. So, I started again. This time I rarely went over 40mg. I did this every other day for about a yr.
Then came Hurricane Katrina. Needless to say, being from New Orleans, I lost everything, including my dope connections. I was forced to quit. I had all the symptoms; no sleep, no appetite, sneezing, jumpy legs, etc.
I quit for about 3 months and felt pretty good after a while.
My journey wasn't over.
I got in touch w/ my old friends and my methadone addiction flared up again. I thought this time I could control it (like I really could).
I lost my father a few months after the storm, and used that excuse to start using more frequently. I used methadone again everyday for the next 2 yrs. I lost one connection, and gained another one. I had to drive an hour to "score".
Well, down hear in The Big Easy, now, methadone is very hard to get. Not to mention how tired I am of chasing my next fix.
As of 6 days ago, I stopped again. Now this time I gradually diminished the dose I was taking. I am totally feeling the same ole' withdrawal symptoms everyone else has experienced. I like to sleep, and the lack of sleep is the worst for me. No appetite (nausea) is a close 2nd. No energy is terrible too. My back is killing me. They all suck!!!!
When I was using methadone, I thought it was a wonder drug. It gave me motivation to do things, it gave me an appetite, not to mention it gave me sexual endurance. But.... I am sick and tired of being dependent on drugs.
One blaring point that I haven't heard mention is the money that my drug career has cost me. I estimate up to $100,000, and I'm not joking.
Plus, I've done this illegal all this time. I am fortunate to never get caught. It started for me at 17. Now, I'm almost 39. That's 22 yrs of misery. I urge anyone w/ a similar story to write a your story. It is therapeutic. It lets everyone know that you are not alone.
I hope I finally have the strength to fight this battle to the end. The hardest thing for me is to have to fight the everyday battles. To go somewhere w/out having to have to do some kind of dope to have fun.
I wish everyone w/ a similar story success, and BE STRONG!!!
But my downfall was when my friends started injecting nubain. In my mind their was no way I was using a needle. They literally chased me around the room trying to stick me w/ a needle. Of course, I gave in. The worst decision of my life. The fear I had of needles were gone. I used nubain for a few yrs, and spent a ton of money doing it.
Then, one day, dilaudid appeared. I had no idea what dilaudid was. Didn't stop me from crushing it up and injecting it. Oh, the rush!!!! Made me feel wonderful. Reminded me of the time I was given morphine b4 surgery.
Believe it or not, I stopped everything and started lifting weights when I was about 30 yrs old. I was clean for the first time, and feeling awesome. Until.. I heard of oxycontin. I remind you my fear of a needle was gone because of nubain.
I got my hands on a 40mg oxycontin, crushed it up, and stuck it in my arm. WHOA!!! There was that "rush" again. I absolutely loved that feeling.
2 yrs, and lord knows how much money later, I stopped oxycontin when I heard of methadone. To me, it was less expensive, and stopped the cravings of the oxy's.
I had a few friends who were on methadone. Of course the saying "Birds of a feather, flock together" is absolutely true. But, I accept total responsibility of my actions. I was aware of the withdrawal symptoms and how hard it was to get off methadone, but I figured " I can do it".
I got up to about 80mg of methadone about 4 times a week. I did this for about 1 1/2 yrs. I tried to quit cold turkey and felt like I wanted to die. I knew a guy who did hang himself trying to quit cold turkey. So, I started again. This time I rarely went over 40mg. I did this every other day for about a yr.
Then came Hurricane Katrina. Needless to say, being from New Orleans, I lost everything, including my dope connections. I was forced to quit. I had all the symptoms; no sleep, no appetite, sneezing, jumpy legs, etc.
I quit for about 3 months and felt pretty good after a while.
My journey wasn't over.
I got in touch w/ my old friends and my methadone addiction flared up again. I thought this time I could control it (like I really could).
I lost my father a few months after the storm, and used that excuse to start using more frequently. I used methadone again everyday for the next 2 yrs. I lost one connection, and gained another one. I had to drive an hour to "score".
Well, down hear in The Big Easy, now, methadone is very hard to get. Not to mention how tired I am of chasing my next fix.
As of 6 days ago, I stopped again. Now this time I gradually diminished the dose I was taking. I am totally feeling the same ole' withdrawal symptoms everyone else has experienced. I like to sleep, and the lack of sleep is the worst for me. No appetite (nausea) is a close 2nd. No energy is terrible too. My back is killing me. They all suck!!!!
When I was using methadone, I thought it was a wonder drug. It gave me motivation to do things, it gave me an appetite, not to mention it gave me sexual endurance. But.... I am sick and tired of being dependent on drugs.
One blaring point that I haven't heard mention is the money that my drug career has cost me. I estimate up to $100,000, and I'm not joking.
Plus, I've done this illegal all this time. I am fortunate to never get caught. It started for me at 17. Now, I'm almost 39. That's 22 yrs of misery. I urge anyone w/ a similar story to write a your story. It is therapeutic. It lets everyone know that you are not alone.
I hope I finally have the strength to fight this battle to the end. The hardest thing for me is to have to fight the everyday battles. To go somewhere w/out having to have to do some kind of dope to have fun.
I wish everyone w/ a similar story success, and BE STRONG!!!