I'm still confused about HOW HARD an erection needs to be for penetration. Does a semi erect penis (50% hard) enough for penetration? Does it get stimulated once inside and thus maintaining the erection?...so it is the feeling of the penis being inside the vagina that creates the arousing feeling, right? Similar to what I would feel when I masturbate, stroking it with my hand?
Although I have been sexually active I'm still yet to successfully penetrate a woman and it is causing me much stress and I have contemplated suicide. I guess I'm seeing the actual penetration act as more of an mission that needs to be accomplished, like this big task that needs to be done...I'm like "right ok this is it, I'm going to actually put it in and lose my virginity." You see this is the consequence of waiting for so long....whereas for example I haven't taken kissing a girl in the same way, it's natural no big deal....if only I could see the same thing when it comes to intercourse.
I think you just need to calm down. You're putting too much pressure on yourself and it's causing your body to lose the focus that it takes to hold an erection. I'm sure that not everyone would agree with me, but you just need to chill out. If you aren't ready to have sex then don't do it. I've been with a guy that wasn't completely hard when we started to have sex but once we got going, the stimulation brought it on full strength and it was amazing. The way it sounds, you can have a full erection by yourself with no problem. That's great... you just need to approach sex with someone that you care about and make it about them instead of putting so much pressure on yourself to perform that you psych yourself out of being able to do anything. You'll be fine and you'll be great. Just need the right moment to happen.