Hi, let me start off by saying I am 48 and do I feel embarrassed and way too old for this sh*t. I get it addiction has no limit. Started using painkillers (does it matter which ones, at this point) ? About 10 yrs ago, this is MY shame Story. I am a successful, beautiful woman and have been hiding this addiction. Running 5 major companies and actually benefiting using because of the perk it gives to you a false sense of multitasking. My trying to keep that "happy feeling" every night going home feeling disgusted and afraid. I have spent many an evening home just popping pills as if it were a secret friend I was hiding from the world. Afraid if my house burned down and couldn't grab my trustee bottle of pills ( that I found myself counting 20x a day) thinking somehow I'd miscounted my controlled drug abuse. I'm not quite sure if my dog noticed but I'm pretty sure at times he looked at me with discust. So a normal day started at only popping pill number 1 at 7 pm enjoy the night yay. Than slowly started at 9 am, about 5 to 8 a day, nothing huge maybe 325, or 750's or 10 mg. last week I started my downhill Climb. I am down to 3/ 325's a day, and hope to just keep decrease until all gone almost home Yikes!!!!!! The and I mean the only reason I stayed on this long was fear of w/d. I am preparing with information, food, vitamins and mess for this I think the plant everyone kramtom is the way I'm leaning. Since it is flu season, this will be by excuse. I'm praying for strength and the fact I don't have a heart attack.
For so long, everyday at the gym, work daily function I have been a hidden drug attack, not proud at all but I feel blessed to know so many have fought through and are doing well. Just very scared.
Hope I am here to talk about it when I survive this.