quitting weed after 4 years to get my personality back

How are you guys doing?

I can definitely empathise with what you's are/have been going through....am on Day XX (trying not to count them, but instead- pretend I never smoked in the first place!).....

And I have discovered a new trigger to wanting to smoke- people. And I don't mean other people that smoke- I mean people in general! I never realised how idiotic and annoying other people were until I stopped smoking. That sounds absolutely awful, but I'll give you a couple of examples...

(Me & my mother during a conversation about one of my 'loves'- space exploration)

My mother: "They've found plant life on Jupiter!"

Me: "No they haven't...I'm pretty sure that if they'd have found life on another planet, it would be on the news. The last fly-by was years ago & while they found that a couple of Jupiters moons were good candidates for life- they haven't actually found it yet!"

My mother: "Yes they have! I heard from XXXX (her friend) the other day!"

Me: "Well, she's wrong.....(long detail about certain planetary conditions that would give a planet the possibilty of life production & reasons why Jupiter could not sustain life as we know it)." 

My mother: "Oh that's right- I'm stupid- why don't you just say it?"

???????

My mother is a difficult person anyway- she demonstrates a fair bit of jealousy towards me & what I've achieved over the past 8 years. I was the first in our family to go to university & become an academic; have never had to depend on a man to bring home the bacon (like she & the rest of the women in our family) and am a much better mother than she ever was (my son has NEVER & will NEVER go through the sh*t I did as a child!)

But then there's my supposed 'best friend'.

Little things have been obvious for a while- she's never invited me to one of her barbeques or parties. As she has a boyfriend (who is a worse pot-head than I was), she only invites couples & I'm her only unattached friend, thus I don't get invited to any of her events. She also doesn't like going out anywhere with me- she only ever comes round to my house. I met her while I was at uni & while I graduated a few years ago (because I was full time), she's still there (because she's part-time). When I told her my grade ( a 2:1), she practically screamed down the phone "HOW DID YOU GET A 2:1?" and then proceeded to tell me that those in charge of the grades probably graded me up! It was as if she didn't believe that I had actually worked very hard for it.

She wants to be a therapist, yet she can't deal with anger; can't talk about sexual abuse & her listening & coaching skills are zero. When I was first experiencing withdrawals, I was going through hell! I felt sick; had stomach, back & neck pains, suffering with depression, ect. At one point, I wanted to kill myself- I planned my own funeral & organised a clean way of doing it. In a last ditch attempt to think realistically, I called her- hoping for some support. My first 'cry' was about how the landlord was taking his time about fixing some bad damp in my bedroom. In an overly authoritive voice, she ordered me to move house. I can't just move house! I don't have the money & I don't want to- we're settled & have 5 cats. It would be extremely difficult to simply 'move house'! Also I was extremely down & said the words "My son would be better off in care, than with a mother like me"- her reaction? "Don't be so bloody stupid! Oh I'm not listening to this c**p- grow up!"

On what world does a therapist say that???

I'm a friggin psychologist (I teach it & research it- I'm not a therapist) and I would NEVER EVER say that to someone who is suicidal or para-suicidal! She is someone who is apparently training to be a psychological therapist!

She is condescending, self-focused in every conversation we have & whatever I do or say, she doesn't take me seriously. I am her 'Lesser friend'- the one she likes to spend time with when her life is looking a bit sh*t. She can come round to me, patronise me for a couple of hours & then leave, feeling as if her life is great. It's a bit like me watching the Jeremy Kyle show- I watch that to realise that I am actually a worthwhile person. She looks at me- the finanically struggling single mother, in her 30's who suffers with mental health problems & has a drug addiction- and her life seems better. She's a teacher (that's why she's at uni part time), owns her own home, has no kids & a younger boyfriend. She actually has a fantastic life, so I have no idea why she feels the need to put me down or be suching a patronising biatch.

She came round the other day & while I really didn't want her round while I was feeling so low- I thought perhaps I was being a bit hard on her (I never said anything- just the way I was feeling). For 5 minutes out of the two hours she was here, I actually got to talk about myself- so I told her about my weed withdrawals.

I told her that I was having bouts of depression- had low energy levels & wanted to sleep all the time. I told her I was exercising to try and keep occupied- I've been cycling 3 times a week & trying to eat healthily to combat the depression & low energy levels. I also told her I couldn't handle drinking caffeine anymore, as I noticed it had an effect on my anger levels & made me shaky.

I recieved a couple of text messages earlier. One TELLING me I need to do more exercise to help me sleep (I don't have problems sleeping- I have problems getting up & staying up!) and another TELLING me I need to take some kind of herb for my anxiety (I don't have anxiety!).

Why could I not see this when I was stoned 24/7?

I liked people much better when I was stoned- they were tolerable. Now I just see idiots & twats.

Any advice for that?

Howdy

Values - With people only do what they value and their values being different in all areas its a recipe for drama - especially if you believe in loyalty (As I once did) some folk out of 10 place a 9 with family why another may place a 2 - this can be applied to your career . friends , sport etc. Just do what you value and don't put yourself out and their will be no resentment - just be true to your values and you will be true to yourself. All the best :)

Recovering from pot? Lmfao pot has been proven to not be addictive. You sir, are an id**t

Actually Shanebear, while you take the literal meaning from that statement, you overlook the addictive personalities of people, in this respect anything can be addictive, hence the varied range of addictions people have.

Also, people experience different reactions to different things, some people can smoke a bud and be fine (or giggle for twenty minutes and then be sick lol), others revel in the experience and find a much deeper and sensual state of mind. Personally i smoked for enhancement, i love music and both play and sing my own material, as well as digest many different styles and cultures (i am addicted to music lol), bud enhanced this for me to a level i cant explain. 

I do have a theory that people who are generally sharper emotionally/intellectually get a much higher effect from bud, thus driving the urge to escape from the world we know into a much more exciting and epic state.

I quit recently as i started to feel some long term effects, my memory isn't so good anymore, my lungs are terrible (from tobacco obviously) and i am thirty this year, i want my trim, fit figure back, so fags and weed, stopped.

I feel for everyone who is stuck in the cycle and i wish you the best, we are all capable of stopping, your perception and attitude drive you in this world "I think, therefore i am", never a more accurate phrase :)

After all this i would like to add, i have been smoking heavily for four years, i have never been late for work and i am an IT Manager, I design and implement networks for a large company, its never affected my work, nor my relationships, that is a choice an individual makes.

Solar

Good post Solar ! Wise words - especially last 5 lines. I find J a day sweet as going. My diet was shocking - just been eating fruit last few weeks in the main. More sunlight for vitamin D as was suggested by another in another topic I posted in on here. Was feeling quite socially awkward before brought vitamin D levels back up - symptom of low Vitamin D. Here I was blaming the pot. See it now that body one big chemical beaker that needs the right chemicals to produce the right reactions - poor chemicals going in poor reactions - coupled with poor sense of well being.

Feeling way different not eating dead chemicals in processed food.

Shanebear, you're a f*****g id**t. Abuse anything and it's addictive haven't you watched strange addictions? Why give negative response on a positive subject? You're the reason people hate people. I'm on my 5th day without smoking after 4 years and I'm having the sh**s, can't sleep, heads foggy, can't eat and I'm having bad aniexty. How the f**k are YOU gonna tell ME and US that what we feel isn't real? Lol get outta here!

week clean, and feeling better, shanebear, eat my sh*t you retarded man... or take up weed for four years, then ill come to you and meet you and sit next to you while you quit huh? How do yo feel about that? dickhead. Goodluck everyone!

oh again.... dickhead

How you 2 doing (original posters) enjoyed reading your chats. im one week in. were you guys successful in kicking the habit. would you never even have a puff again? i go through about a quarter a week so not as much but its effecting me and im hooked.i do love it though just wish i had control.would love some advice.peace lads.

im one week clean gonna try vitamin d and report back. i think when you stop a regular pattern or routine you have to replace it with something and for me that is healthy eating and excersize. wish all you guys good luck and all that

hey my name is matt and ive been clean for a month and was a heavy smoker for a year but i still feel the same maybe a little better but not much, i could really use your support

I have also been on and off trying to quit weed. i hav recently smoked lots for the past month and over the last 1.5 weeks been cutting down. today is my 2nd day without it my anxiety is bad! a week and a half ago i came to canada for 3months to visit my bf. he is not a smoker and convinced that my anxiety and moods are caused by the weed.

i hate feeling like this, and not knowing y reading on forums people saying that it cld b a different problem and we blaming weed for it?? freaks me out as now i think its cos im here in a different country, my bf is amazing and loves me dearly and really doesnt deserv to deal with me.

i also hav no appetite today and diarrhea. for a couple of days hav just been gloomy and dont wna leav the house. my bf is at work all day so im left to my own devices.

i would just like to know if this anxiety is the weed and nothing else and if i do quit weed will i live a better life? i feel like im more alive, happy, friendly, loving person wen i smoke? most of my friends back home smoke to.

please any advice wld help feeling very down and sick cant leave bed today

Hi, I just read your post, Im in the same boat as you Ive been smoking it daily for 4 years. Yes the weed does cause anxiety without a doubt. It certainly relaxes you but at the same time makes you anxious. I do have no appetite and this started when I started smoking weed. At the moment I even go home at lunchtime and have 2 cones. I buy by the ounce and an ounce lasts me 3 weeks. I have no idea if this is good or bad. I really really want to quit when I run out in a few days, it is just so expensive to buy. I know the feelings of not having weed for a few days, my anxiety levels go haywire, I cant sleep, its just an aweful feeling, Ive been told that will last for 1 week.

Let me know how your going

Yeah people i feel you. I smoke weed about every otherday. im limiting myself to 1 day a week, but i really want to stop. I do it becuase the awesome feeling it gives me and the fact that it connects me to my friends. My first time smoking was in 7th grade i didnt start using heavy until about 9th grade. i saw my grades dropped and i quit smoking for about a year and made all As and Bs. Well im a senoir now and been smoking for about a year, i just get the feeling sometomes that ive lost my personallity and emotions and have mental blocks sometimes in certain situations. i Just want the old me back. I think i avoid conversation and push people away. 

What's the address again