I'm 22 weeks pregnant and I'm scared to death my husband isn't the father we been trying to have another baby but I had sex with my ex the day I was ovation but I was having sex with my husband everyday I don't kno what to to
My heart goes out to you, and to your husband and your child (I'll be praying for you all!). Where are you? UK? US? There are some family support groups you might consider contacting.
You need to take stock of yourself, ask yourself some questions before proceeding (and answer yourself honestly!). Then reflect on your answers. I do not suggest you give public answers to these.
- Is your ex an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband?
- What brought that relationship to an end?
- Why did you commit adultery? What led up to that? Is that likely to ever happen again? And if it does???
- Why did you take such a risk? Presumably he didn't use a condom? Why not?
- What is your real commitment to your husband? To your other child?
- What is your husband's commitment to you? To your other child?
- If the child is not your husband's, he will need to know sooner or later. Genetics might well speak loudly! What are those issues?
- There are pre-natal paternity tests. When will you take one (if at all?)
- Are there any direct religious connotations for you or your husband?
Depending on the answers you give to these (and maybe others), you will need to think about how to handle the future. Some of the things that come to mind immediately are:
- How are you going to protect (affair-proof) your marriage?
- How are you going to rebuild trust?
- How are you going to strengthen your marriage?
- How are you going to deal with your guilt?
- How are you going to tell your husband?
- How are you going to deal with his response?
- How are you going to handle the spiritual aspects?
If you sign up as a member here (please do), you can talk privately to me (or another member).
I wish you all the help you (will) need. If I can help, please ask.