Hi,
So I am 22. engaged to the woman of my dreams... and have GAD ( generalized anxiety disorder)
I struggle to get, or maintain an erection during intercourse.
The odd thing about it though is that sometimes I don't have a problem at all, but lately it's been a massive problem. She feel's it's her fault, that I don't find her attractive, that she can't please me, she feel's that I have no interest in her whatsoever.
I've told her otherwise, but in her mind the penis doesn't lie.
I know it's performance anxiety. But where others could work through the anxiety and recover, I live in a constant state of anxiousness. I have tried medication for it, and it left me near on broken, so i had to stop with that. during this phase my sex life did not improve.
I am now at a complete loss about what to do.... I have developed a fear of being intimate with the only woman I want to be intimate with, when we are together, when we are not together, it's all I want. I love her, but I fear I will lose her if this does not sort itself out soon.
I don't want to not have sex with her, I want her. She is my definition of what i find attractive, and yet?
I feel emasculated, useless, and like I'm being unfair to her.
and yet, even though I feel like I'm being unfair, I don't want to leave her, I want to marry her, one day have kids etc, but I also want us to have a healthy sexual relationship.
I'm at my wits end, somebody please help out?
So I am 22. engaged to the woman of my dreams... and have GAD ( generalized anxiety disorder)
I struggle to get, or maintain an erection during intercourse.
The odd thing about it though is that sometimes I don't have a problem at all, but lately it's been a massive problem. She feel's it's her fault, that I don't find her attractive, that she can't please me, she feel's that I have no interest in her whatsoever.
I've told her otherwise, but in her mind the penis doesn't lie.
I know it's performance anxiety. But where others could work through the anxiety and recover, I live in a constant state of anxiousness. I have tried medication for it, and it left me near on broken, so i had to stop with that. during this phase my sex life did not improve.
I am now at a complete loss about what to do.... I have developed a fear of being intimate with the only woman I want to be intimate with, when we are together, when we are not together, it's all I want. I love her, but I fear I will lose her if this does not sort itself out soon.
I don't want to not have sex with her, I want her. She is my definition of what i find attractive, and yet?
I feel emasculated, useless, and like I'm being unfair to her.
and yet, even though I feel like I'm being unfair, I don't want to leave her, I want to marry her, one day have kids etc, but I also want us to have a healthy sexual relationship.
I'm at my wits end, somebody please help out?
First, you need to find a counselor to help you deal with these feelings of uselessness, emasculation and being unfair.
Second, you might consider couples' counseling, especially if you're intending on marrying this woman.
Third, there are plenty of other sexual expressions other than intercourse that you two could explore. Have you tried other positions, stimulation, and interaction (HJ, BJ, oral, plain massage, etc)?
She may assume that the penis doesn't lie, but if you're being open and honest with her, she should trust your words and your sincerity, rather than an old wives tale.
Good luck.
We want to hear how this goes for you.