Let's start from the beginning, I'm a 23 year old virgin living in a small town. As a kid I was really really fat, and at the age of 18 I was diagnosed with diabetes. This made me change my lifestyle quite drastically, I had to change my diet and I have to eat regularly on the hour. I also started to workout, either going to the gym, jogging or swimming. I'm not the fittest guy in the world and I don't have a six-pack but I'm not the fat kid anynore and I know logically that I'm atleast decent looking. But I still have problems looking in the mirror since all I see is that ugly fat guy I used to be.
When I was 19 I went to a party with a couple of friends where I meet a girl. We had alot of fun talking and I could tell she was intrestead in me. We decided to leave the party and go skinny dipping at the beach, I was really nervouse about it since I'm not what you would call well endowed (5.5 inches). But on our way to the beach she gave me my first kiss and we stopped several times to make out, and I felt like I started to lose control over what I was doing. The thing is she was kind of drunk, (not falling over drunk but definatly not sober) I on the other hand because of my diabetes can't drink alcohol anymore. Before we started skinny dipping I asked her if she wanted to stop since she had been drinking and I was sober, she answerd me by taking of all her clothes and after that my brain wouldn't let my resist. I still feel guilty about it because some part of me feel like I took advantage of her, but I couldn't helpmyself. I had never been so happy in my life, kissing a girl that was sitting naked on my lap while in the water. Because her and my friend was with us we didn't go all the way, but I didn't care. I tried contacting her a couple of days later and then she told me it was a nice evening but she didn't want to meet me. She also told me the reason was that I wasn't a good kisser and that she didn't want to teach me, when I told her she was my first kiss. Have u ever felt guilty for hooking up with or kissing a drunk girl when u where sober?
That really didn't help my confidence and to make matters worse I had developed a chronic condition called prostatitis which basically means almost every time I pee it feels like I'm peeing acid. And after an orgasm there is a 50/50 chance I will experience extreme pain. All this had made me really shy, and then I started my last year of high school. I actually got a couple of girl friends and I started to fall for a girl in my class. We could talk for hours everyday, but she had a boyfriend so I didn't want to cross that line. When see broke up with him I wanted to tell her how I felt but I was to late, after a month she started to date a good friend of mine. The rest of the school year went by with the love of my life beeing too far away. At the end of the school year I couldn't take it anymore, I told her how I felt. I said I didn't expect anything I just had to tell her, she was the first girl I had ever loved. Let's just say that not only didn't she respond to my feelings, but I lost one of the best friends I've ever had. That really made me feel guilty, and the thought of ever telling a girl how I feel really scares me.
I've always been kind of a nerdy guy, playing video games and reading comics etc. And it's really clear if u come to my home that I'm a nerd. I'm almost like lenoard from the big bang theory expect I'm not that smart. So if I ever get a girlfriend there are somethings about me she is just going to have to accept. But because of all of my other problems, I just wouldn't feel right about subjecting someone to the pain I have to live with everyday. There has been other girls and even some grown women that has come on to me, but I've been to scared about my kissing, beeing a virgin I know I'm going to suck, because of my size, the chance of pain, and I will probably not last long. And beeing a virgin for so long I don't feel like it would be right to lose it to some random drunk girl. I'm not saving myself for marrige or anything like that, but I would like to atleast have known the girl for more then five seconds. I recently met a gir that I thought could be perfect for me, we went out for a couple of times on what I thought were dates, but a couple of days ago she changed her facebook status to in a releationship with a guy I know.
What kind of tips do u have for a guy like me to actually get a girlfriend?, a part of my feel like I don't deserve it, but I'm tired of beeing misrable, I want to be happy. I might get to a point where I will get desparet enough to just hook up with some random girl and pretend she cares about me but I'm not there yet. My birthday is coming up soon though and beeing without psyhical contact for so long is starting to get really hard. I just want a girl to share my life with, cuddle up in bed, and telling me she loves me. I had a dream about this recent girl last night and I woke up crying like a baby, it felt so good for a second to believe that someone was holding me and caring about me. I've actually considerd going to a prostitute, not for sex, but just laying on a bed and holding eachother. Should I just find some random girl to "train" with? So that I'm ready if I ever find someone that can love a guy like me. Cause honestly sex scares me, but I don't want to be bad if I find the right girl.
Sorry for potential bad grammar, I'm on pain meds atm.
You had a one night stand. Girls when they are young are naturally going to want to have sex with random guys, its animal behavior. Medically speaking, you can drink alcohol, but light amount of only around 3 beers. Also I hope you used a condom when having sex with her or future sexual interaction, since she sounds like a girl that has had sex with many partners. There are many STDs that are asymptomatic. My advice is to keep working out and maybe go to a doctor about losing as much weight as possible, getting diabetes that young is not good at all. Diabetes effects everything, from your teeth, sexual activity, sperm count, eyes, almost everything. You need to get your sugar in control, with weight loss, good eating habits, and excursing. Also get vaccinated http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/schedules/downloads/adult/adult-schedule.pdf. Diabetes also effects your immune system. Stay healthy and stay focus with your diabetes, not girls, since your health is more important. Also girls are known to go after older mature guys, whether they are fat or not.
Hey hun,
I know this has been up for a few months, but just incase you are still in the same situation, I would like to just send you this message to talk to you from a womans perspective.
I was a virgin till 19 and lost it to someone I cared about but who didnt care about me. It damaged me for years.
Let me just say this, I know most people think that religions are hokey for telling you not to have sex before marriage, but your virginity is precious, and for the sake of the woman you end up loving for the rest of your life, please give it to someone special.
A woman of substance will not care if you are a virgin, in fact a woman of honour will find it a turn on because she knows she is not sharing your body with other women, and can share the beauty of intimacy with you for the first time.
I know its been said so many times, but I will say it again on behalf of women the world over, SIZE DOESNT MATTER!!!When it comes to intimacy, forget about your penis and think about your lady, good sex for a woman is about passion, love and closeness. Speaking from experience an 8incher does nothing if your lazy and dont know how to use it. The best lover I had was 4inch and a stud because he was confident and new how to love a woman, not just f**k her.
That girl who told you you were a bad kisser was talking out her ass. In my younger days I made out with an enormous amount of people I am ashamed to say, I think the count was up to about 78 by the age of 21, and I was often given the lable of most incredible kisser around, you know what the secret is? feeling the emotions of the other person and moving with them. There is a girl out there who will fit perfectly with your style of kissing, and seriously it is not difficult to become a good kisser, just ask your lady how she likes it and practice practice practice.
my current long term partner was probably one of the most awkward kissers I have ever known, but within a month together he was the best, the key ingrediant is love.
Dont be afraid of sex, and dont waste it on a woman who will be bothered by sexual technique. A good woman will work with you not against you in the bed.
If you havent already tried it, joining groups and making new friends is the best way to find a new partner. mixed sports groups, cooking classes, marshere dancing classes, martial arts, and walking groiups are great ways to meet women and new friends.
Otherwise I strongly reccomend Eharmony, its a system that works if you are 100% honest with the multichioce questions.
When you meet a girl you like, pretend in your head she is an old friend from primary school who you are catching up with for the first time since you were children, dont think of her as a sexual person, this will make it less intimidating when talking to her, ans you will come across as a gentelman.
At the end of the day, the right lady for you will love you just the way you are, you will need to work a little harder sexually to get it to work for you , but every relationship takes work to make it great.
Hope this helps in some small way
She early figured out that I was not used to this kind of stuff, and after a couple of weeks she asked me if I was a virgin and I told her yes. She had been so open and honest about her life and experiences good and bad, so when she asked me if I was saving my self or if there was a spesific reason I decided to do the same and tell her the truth about everything. She said that she understood and there was no rush. We were both busy with work the last couple of days so we didn't see eachother, but it gave me time to think. And I was just more and more convinced that she was the girl I had been waiting for. Then comes to fun part that sounds like it came out of a f*****g movie, I take all the preporcusions I can possibly take and drive over to her appartment and catch her having sex with her ex.
She then apologises for me having to find out that way, but tells me that sex is a very important part in a relationship for her, and she didn't know if she could handle all the humps and work it would take to get it to maybe work out. I tell her that I understand, and that honestly I wouldn't want to go out with me either, I'm just too screwed up. It hurt like hell, but we weren't in a compited relationship or whatever, so I really couldn't be too mad.
And she should count herself lucky that she didn't go for me, around christmas I got an infection that made everything worse. Meaning I'm now pretty much in chronic pain 24/7, I have to use pain meds everyday regularly just to be able to half way function, and I've had to up the doses drastically and I'm still in some form of uncomfort. Last time I had an orgasm I ended up in the E.R. where they had to give me morphine to get the pain to go away and I for the first time since what feels like forever slept longer then 2-3 hours at a time. I am damaged goods and I always will be.
Which is why I've decided to save up money to go to amsterdam, I'm going to numb myself with drugs, buy a high end escort to give me the girlfriend experience, pretending that she loves me, lose my virginity, and after that I'm not sure how much more I can take and how long I will go on for. One thing is for sure, I can't wait for the legalization of the medicin my doctor has told me could possibly help.
Food, drinks, maybe healthy stuff and just some things are to private to share with others, because than they look down on ppl.
I know you got nite mares! Just get that attitude, read and find out who you are
And fix your immune system
please
Drink green tea
Think positive and dont let ppl know to much about you, some things are better when not mentioned
I was just kinda hoping since she had been so open with me about her problems I could do the same, she is the only one I have opend up to, cause on the outside everyone thinks life is peechy. But the problem is that I can't be a man, its literally like torture. My immune system can't be fixed, I'm living as healthy as I can and nothing works. It's chronic and something I have to live with for the rest of my life. And an attitude adjustment isn't going to work,
Pray baby il be praying for you, you hang in there ull find a girl cuz u sound like a sweet teady bear :-D and an easy person to love i like you stay prayed up