Just got this from my uncle...
Down At Walmarts
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike
behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a Doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a
urine sample, and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to
do about it. It only takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars.....a hell
of a lot cheaper than a Doctor."
So Jack puts his urine sample into a small jar and takes it to
Walmart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer spits out the following
printout; You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks.
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology is,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He then proceeds to mix some tap water, a stool sample from his
dog, urinesamples from his wife & daughter, and then masturbates into the
mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to Walmart, eager to check the computers
findings. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.The computer printouts the following;
1. Your tap water is too hard......Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm.....Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit......get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls......they aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself.....Your elbow will
never get better.
Down At Walmarts
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike
behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a Doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a
urine sample, and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to
do about it. It only takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars.....a hell
of a lot cheaper than a Doctor."
So Jack puts his urine sample into a small jar and takes it to
Walmart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer spits out the following
printout; You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity.
It will improve in two weeks.
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology is,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He then proceeds to mix some tap water, a stool sample from his
dog, urinesamples from his wife & daughter, and then masturbates into the
mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to Walmart, eager to check the computers
findings. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results.The computer printouts the following;
1. Your tap water is too hard......Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm.....Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit......get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls......they aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself.....Your elbow will
never get better.