Hi Poky,
It depends upon the maturity level of your children but it is best to be honest with them. You can tell them auntie Jane is very sick and she might not get better. It often starts a discussion about dying. You might say she may go "to heaven" or wherever your religion indicates.
It's the same with visitations. They may want/need to say goodbye if it someone they are very close too. Again, use your judgement.
I wish you all the best during this period. Good luck.
I think at 9 & 13 they'll handle it okay. Lots of talk, sharing memories, visiting places they spent time with him is a good idea.
Is this the first close relative they'll lose?
I would just say grandpa is really sick and even though the doctors have done everything they could he is not going to get better. Give them the basic information and let them ask questions from there.
They are very close to their "Papa." This has all just happened since Monday. My FIL was diagnosed with a brain tumor. They are still running
more tests, but the outcome does not look good.
Maybe have them send grandpa cards telling him how much he means to them. It would be a good exercise to get them to think about how important he is to them--and prolly good for grandpa to hear it.
Answers questions as they come without going into too much detail. Kids will ask until they are satisfied.
I would save any speculation until you know for sure what the prognosis is.
The truth.1 :1: That is what we did when we told the kids about me. Surprising what a 3 and a 6 year old will ask you too.
very sad, tough issue Poky. sorry you're facing this. i agree with everyone -- tell them basics and let them take it from there.....
when my mom died suddenly last year, both kids (8 and 13) were stunned. never ever asked a question (especially the 13 y.o.). they were just silent. it kinda bothered me cuz i wanted to hear what was on their minds as she was a big part of their life. i never even asked them how they felt. i think they were trying to be strong for me. :(
i know one thing for sure - kids learn alot by just lurking. man, their little ears and eyes will grab onto every detail and just suck it in. they watch and listen and then make their own judgments -- hopefully with our guidance. mine just remained quiet in a bothersome way (to me).
good luck.