Well last night he and I were driving back home from the beach and I got onto the topic of my ex-boyfriend and my current boyfriend commented on how my ex asked me to Marry him six months into our relationship and I said that was kinda soon. Then my boyfriend said too me well I know that we are not ready for something like that, and he said it takes a-lot of work and effort to be in a marriage we'd have to settle down and be more prepared and we aren't. Well my stomach turned because about two hours ago we had been walking together by the ocean and I thought for a moment I could marry this man I wish I could tell him how I feel in that thought, then two hours later he's giving my thoughts of marriage complete doubt. I go through up's and down's with my boyfriend one day i'm floored totally head over heals, the next day I do not know if our relationship is going to work out. He gives me doubts, I've asked myself several times is he with me because I am stable and I am secure in my income and place of residence? We have been dating for 1 year and five months, We've been living together for a year and two months. The more I show my boyfriend attention, affection, interest the more he backs down and gets comfortable. When I back down and do not show much interest he is all over me asking me if I am alright? I just feel caught up, insecure, helpless and angry. I know that I want to marry my boyfriend if he can man up and get a stable career going and save some money toward a purchase of a home i'd say yes to the question. But how do I tell my boyfriend that I do see us in a marriage if all the cards fall into place? He made me feel like he just didn't see us ever getting married and what's really crazy is I got pregnant six months after we met and he told me that he wasn't ready to be a father and we aren't ready to be parents. He's 24 and I am 26 years old. A tiny part of me feels like I am wasting my time and I'd rather be single to find a man that is more established and accomplished ready for a family and ready for marriage if he meets the right woman for all that stability. But then again I want that man to be my boyfriend. I do love him but he's disappointed me so many times. My biggest fear is that he's using me and all of my efforts to make our relationship work will die in vein. I need some advice to why he told me that information last night his opinion. One last thing when I told him I was upset about last night he said well I only said it because you've been telling me things like dropping hits toward the idea of a marriage. SO what do I DO?
well you should lissen to your heart do you want to marrie this guy or dont u
Well the problem is he said to me, that we aren't ready for a commitment like marriage and we need to be more prepared. When I asked him why he said this he told me I was dropping signs and hints. I told him I never told you anything about my views on marriage. I do want to marry him someday but I've never told him that and now I for sure know I can't. He just flat out made me feel like I wasn't the woman for him.
i bet he does want to marrie you but hes afraid that you are going to dump him like the last bf or give it some time
hello freedom,
i think u should be more direct with him. after reading your post i feel llike he'd appreciate that, you would too, and if he doesnt want to marry you then f**k him. youre a beautiful young girl, for sure youll find someone who wants a home and family and all.
dont waste your time with subtleties.
just ASK him to marry you if thats what u really want.
speak your mind more.
you need to love yourself, not worry bout his love.
''But how do I tell my boyfriend that I do see us in a marriage if all the cards fall into place?''
- Exactly that way.
''A tiny part of me feels like I am wasting my time and I'd rather be single to find a man that is more established and accomplished ready for a family and ready for marriage if he meets the right woman for all that stability.''
- At your age, men are lining up to get a woman whos cool and down to have a family and a house and all. please dont settle for less.
good luck , take care.
It seems like you know in your heart this relationship isn't right for you, but you fight that because you love him.
I would sit down and talk with him about how you feel. Let him know that you want to get married and have a family. If he's not ready for that and you are, you need to ask yourself if you're willing to settle. It seems like you're not. It seems like you two are in two different places in your lives and what you want he can't handle now. So if you've thought about breaking it off, you may want to do that.
I can understand not wanting to break it off. Most people are afraid of being hurt and afraid of grief. Don't be afraid. It won't last forever. You'll survive, I'm sure of it.
Wow, this is quite a predicament you have here. In all honesty I think you need to be honest with him and sit him down and tell him, that you think he should get a stable job. A relationship is a two way street, you shouldn't be the only one showing love and affection towards him. Personally I think he was just being honest with you about the whole marriage thing, that he isn't ready to take that kind of step with you quite yet. I know people that are with each other 6 years before they got married. I can see you obviously want to get married at some point, and you want him to be the one that you marry but I think you need just to wait it out. I know this will be hard, especially if you think you are already wasting your time, but I think you need to drop it for the time being and try and carry on regardless. Marriage might not be off the cards, he might just not be ready to think or talk about it. At least you have the ability to talk to him about how you feel. It might be an idea to ask how long his longest relationship is, it could be that he hasn't been at that stage with a girl, and could be a bit worried about it.
I am not professing to be an expert and I hope you manage to sort it out. Hope this helps.
I am not professing to be an expert and I hope you manage to sort it out. Hope this helps.