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Hi, I really need any and all POSITIVE advice that I can get. My son is 10 years old...will be 11 in Nov and he weighs 185 lbs. Somewhere between the age of 2-3 years was when he started getting really chubby. I was told not too worry about it bc he was still young and his weight wasn't extreme! From the age of 4-8 his weight gain only increased. We started seeing a pediatric nutritional specialist at that time and he said that he didn't want him to loose weight all that much, but our goal is for him not to gain any more. Shortly after that he retired and honestly without the step by step what to do list and the check ups our focus and efforts faded away. I was aware that it was a problem but really didn't know how to handle the issue without making him feel worse abt it. I felt if i brought it up or tried to set limits for him that he took it as insults from me and being punished for being overweight. I honestly didn't know how to handle the increasing weight gain. This is what im faced with now though. His pediatrician and pediatric psychiatrist are both extremly concerned about his weight and the risks that being so big are subjecting his body to. I agree totally with them. It was put to me like this "his weight has gotten to the point where diet regularity and increased activity are not enough and more drastic measure are our only options left to do" I was like ok what's the plan but what the doctor told me would be the next step has put so much fear in me. He wants to put him a massive dose of stimulants to kill his appetite in the hopes of stopping any more weight gain and meanwhile, changing types of foods eaten habits and really increase activity to get the weight to start coming off. I don't know what to do. Obesity can cause life long damage to his body but I know that stimulants in themselves can damage the body when taken in large doses. I understand that he weighs 185 pounds and wears a size 36 in mens jean size but i also understand that he is only 10 and has a 10 years olds brain. I'm so lost. I feel that i can offer him no help at all without possibly hurting him. Lastly i wanted to mention that I started noticing shortly after he turned 10 that he was sneaking food into his room and hiding the trash from us which really confused me bc i knew for certain that he hated being so overweight and wanted to be thinner. Shortly after that i sat down and had a heart to heart but honest talk with him. I asked him what his thoughts and feelings were. What did he WANT to see change in the next 3 months and more importantly what did he THINK would change over the next 3 months. What he told me just crushed my heart...bc it wasn't till then that i realized that yeah he wanted to loose weight BUT he had lost the motivation and belief that he could loose weight. His thinking was i've tried before...nothing changed and nothing ever will. I can't loose weight, it's just too hard. No self confidence or esteem abt it at all. What do i do? Has anyone been or dealt with a similar situation? I really need and want to get some real life info and advice on this from others who has or is in a similar situation. PLEASE!!


Hi honey: As a mother of a once heavy boy I TOTALLY understand what you are saying, and my heart goes out to you. I have fought with weight issues all my life and my parents were TERRIBLE to me about it, so I refused to pass that on to my son.

This is what I did, this is just my story - you are his mom, if you feel like something isn't right then DO NOT DO IT!!!, as I agree with you about the stimulants, actually I am DISGUSTED with them even mentioning it, your boy will have issues with his heart right now and stimulants will put more pressure on the heart.

So what I did is gently without him knowing is getting him into sports - the best for your son and mine was swimming! It is gentle on their joints PLUS they are getting cardiovascular workout! If you live close to a childrens hospital ask about getting him into a physiotherapy/hydrotherapy class or one on one (so he doesn't feel embarrassed). Without him knowing or pointing it out, you ALL HAVE to go on a diet with him. You CAN'T have junk food in the house, you CANT have any temptation - if he was an alcoholic would you have alcohol sitting around? - that's the way to think of it! He is addicted to food right now, he feels useless and that this will never end. When you get him to an appropriate weight, then when he hits puberty he will loose the rest!

What we did is starting to eat more salads, or choose things that he liked - that are healthy of course - and put those in his meals. Another great thing we did is get smaller plates, so he THINKS that he is finishing his plate!! Also getting him to drink water ESPECIALLY before meals he will feel fuller! Try and do things as a family, it's amazing if you start taking the dogs out for a walk or go swimming together or anything that is away from the Xbox or Playstation. There are SO many obese children right now it is an epidemic and if you think about their lives now, which include 24/7 being on video or computer games, texting on the cell phone etc, there is no wonder is there? But I do NOT believe in giving children medications. IF he had a thyroid or kidney problem that would be one thing, but he doesn't and what WE have to work on is making sure he doesn't get juvenille diabetes, or heart problems, or joint problems etc. He will be embarrassed to go out and do things, so try and see if you can get him in one on one programs 1st. And do things together as a family so he doesn't feel alone.

I saw a picture of my son from 3 years ago, I COULDN'T believe it!!! And soon you will be like me - I promise hon - just be his mother bear and do what comes naturally and protect your boy, even if its from himself!!! Just start getting active - all of you - so he doesn't feel like he's been singled out! And GENTLY but forcebly push him in the right nutrional direction. As soon as he looses even 10 or 20 lbs he will feel far better, which will enable him to do more etc.

I don't want to frighten you, BUT I would be amiss if I didn't mention another angle to your dilema. IF this cannot be done by you and your family, when doctors get involved and he is then IN the system and IF there is no improvement, they COULD actually bring in social services and in some states you can actually be charged with child endagerment or abuse!!!!!!!! o.O So I just want you to know how serious this COULD turn out to be!! So it IS seious hon, not only for your boy but perhaps for the whole family!!!! I'm sorry to say that to you when you are already stressed, I just want you to know what COULD happen

But for now lets focus on getting your boy well and able! EVERYTHING will change for him. My son used to be picked on and singled out because of his weight. NOW he looks like a model, he is 6ft tall and just under 200 lbs - but its not fat, just muscle and bones o.O XD ;-) OH and the hollow leg!!!! ;-) XD So lets get your boy down to an appropriate healthy weight, so when he reaches puberty - which means hollow leg syndrome!!!! Where you cannot keep the fridge full enough! Then he will be able to deal with that.

ANYTIME you want advice or to talk or just vent I'm on here OK? So lets work together and get your boy well OK?


Hi there, I'm really sorry that your'e coping with this and it sounds like a lot of people have not been helpful because it sounds like you have done a lot to help your son. I am sure that he is in a difficult position right now with his age but if you don't mind talking about it, please let me know what all you did in terms of food for him? What sort of diet is he on right now? What are his eating habits? Would you mind sharing? Thanks!