The death of a family member or friend is painful loss. Loss happens to everyone. It is part of life. You should know that the loss of a loved one is life’s most stressful event and can cause a major emotional crisis.
The most common response to loss is grief. When you experience the loss of someone you love, you are forced to deal with grief. Grief is something that everyone will experience during their lifetime.
Grieving is a process. You must give yourself time to grieve for as long as necessary. Each person grieves in his own way and in his own time. Some people need more time to grieve, than others, so don't be hard on yourself if you have to grieve longer than you think you should.
The loss for which most of us are least prepared is for the death of someone we love. The grief can harm us; can make us susceptible to illness and increase blood pressure and heart rate. Reactions to loss vary from person to person. Some people are desperate, other have insomnia, fatigue and other health and emotional problems. Reactions depend on your personality, the existence of previous losses, and the social support you receive.
When you loss loved one you may experience a wide range of emotions, even when the death is expected. Some emotions which you may have include: denial, disbelief, confusion, shock, sadness, yearning, anger, despair and guilt. These emotions are healthy and appropriate and will help you come to terms with your loss.
Some people are in shock when they loss loved one. When you in shock you don't register any feelings. You aren't able to cry much, or any. Denial is often present in the early stages of a loss. You need to allow yourself time to grieve because it is an important aspect in your healing.
Losing someone you love may seem unfair. If anger is not felt or expressed, a person becomes depressed. It is important not to be destructive in your anger. But it is also important to express your anger. Expressing anger is a sign that you are deal with your loss. You may feel angry with yourselves and others for not being able to prevent the loss. Many people suppress anger and feel depressed and guilty instead. You can overcome anger by finding alternative outlets for your feelings or by talking things over with supportive people.
Physical symptoms such as disturbed sleep, appetite changes, restlessness and fatigue are not uncommon during the first months of grief. After a death of spouse, many people are anxious about living alone. The fear of losing another loved one is common after a death and may result in excessive worry for the safety and health of others closest to you.
It is not unusual to blame yourself for something you did or didn’t do prior to a loss. When a loved one dies, you may feel guilty. You may feel guilty that you didn't do as much as you could have for the person, or that it wasn't you who died. You may feel guilty for things you said in anger. You may feel guilty for things that you could have said but didn't. You probably did the best you could do at the time.
It is most important to accept the fact that there are events we just can’t control. You should forgive yourself. You should know that forgiveness is a necessary part of healing. Forgiveness is a process. It may take quite a while to completely forgive. You have to forgive in order for you to heal.
Depression could be reaction on guilt. Depression is normal. You may not be prepared for the intensity and duration of your emotions or how swiftly your moods may change. You may seek help from a doctor and take antidepressants for a time until you are better able to handle your grief. If your depression is lasting too long, you may benefit from the help of a therapist. Let yourself to cry. You should know that during the depression phase, you will cry a lot. Crying is normal, and tears are healing. If you cry constantly, and it goes on for months and months, you probably need to seek professional help. Antidepressants will help you deal with severe grief.
Depressed people feel sad hopeless and helpless. You may have trouble concentrating, making decisions, and experience changes in their eating and sleeping habits. You must allow yourself to experience the pain of grief. You must accept the painful reality and finality of the loss. You can't avoid the pain, and you will feel awful. If refuse to feel pain, it could affect on your entire future.
Acceptance means that you have reached the final stage. You probably will reach a stage where you can accept your loss. When you have worked through all of the other phases, you will come to acceptance.
You must accept death and loss. The death is an inevitable part of life. You will always love that person, but you must realize that you are alive. You must go on with your life. You will realize that it is final, and you are ready to get on with your life. You will be finished with your grieving. You are ready to move on to your life and let the past remain in the past. You should be able to remember the good things as well as the bad.