How To Take It Easy And Survive Holiday Stress

Recognize Triggers for Holiday Stress

The holiday season often brings two unwanted guests, stress and depression. With a dizzying number of holiday demands —buying gifts, planning parties, attending parties, getting in touch with people one does not see throughout the year—peace and joy can be hard to find.

Holiday stress can be easier to manage, however, if one recognizes the triggers for unmanageable stress that can lead to an emotional meltdown. Triggers for stress usually center on the following:

Finances. The expense of buying gifts, paying for winter heating fuel, buying train and plane tickets, and expensive holiday food can do more than strain the budget. It can sabotage peace of mind, especially if you are relying on credit cards to pay for your holidays.

Relationships. Seeing people you have not seen all year, or for many years, can disrupt schedules, aggravate depression, and bring up real and imagined injuries and insults from long ago. Tensions are always heightened by the holidays. On the other hand, spending the holidays alone can be a tremendous burden for those who have lost spouses, parents, children, or siblings.

Physical stress. An often-overlooked source of holiday stress is the sheer physical burden of driving in heavy traffic, hauling arm loads of packages, and walking over icy streets and sidewalks. Errands and chores may disrupt essential schedules of sleep and exercise, giving holiday celebrants little time to recover from holiday stresses until January arrives, or even later.

Sometimes the real stress of the holidays is dealing with cold or limited sunlight. Dressing appropriately and buying a sunlamp may make all the difference between happy holidays and a Christmastime disaster. Most of the time, however, holiday stress really has more to do with emotional issues. Take a moment now to consider how you will deal with the following ten critical concerns for holiday happiness and health.

Five Tips for Dealing with Social Stress During the Holidays

Much of the stress of dealing with the holidays derives from strained relationships. Here are five crucial concerns for surviving and thriving during the holiday season with your most important relationships intact.

1. Keep it real. The holidays don't have to be perfect. It's wonderful when you can make your holidays a time to remember, but you don't have to do this each and every year. Especially if last year was a once-in-a-lifetime event for you, remember that you don't have to live up to any standard other than treating your loved ones with kindness, respect, and courtesy. But it's also realistic to know that small children, and adults who act like small children, may protest if they don't get everything they have come to expect. If you value the relationship, you can survive the protests.

2. Acknowledge your feelings. If you are feeling lousy about the holidays, be honest with yourself. Know that you may not feel great during the holidays. On the other hand, try not to dwell on your losses and disappointments. Be open to the possibility that your real enjoyment of the holiday may come from people and events you least expect. And while it is important to acknowledge your feelings to yourself, the holidays are a bad time to unload on unsuspecting friends and family. They may not be able to respond to you compassionately even though it is a season about love and peace.

3. Seek professional help if you need it. If your feelings about the holidays are just too much for you to bear, do not be hesitant to call a hotline, schedule an appointment with a counselor, or to visit clergy. They are there to help you deal with difficult issues. Especially if your burdens are so great that you are considering suicide, it may be essential to get professional help with major depression or even the day to day problems that come with various kinds of losses. It's your holiday, too. Don't be afraid to share your concerns with a caring and confidential religious or mental health professional.

4. Get out, and reach out. If you are spending the holidays alone, don't spend them at home. Go to cultural events, religious events, parades, fireworks displays, and public celebrations. Even if the food is not the best, visit community holiday meals. Better, invite someone who is in a similar situation to an event in a safe setting to share time during the holidays.

5. Don't be afraid to say “no.” Know your limits. If you are being asked to do more than you can do or to spend more than you can spend, don't be afraid to say no. It is far better to endure someone else's offense than to stew inside.

Five More Tips for Dealing with the Stress of the Holiday Hustle and Bustle

Not all of the stress of the holidays is interpersonal. It can also be a real challenge just to get everything done. Here are five more tips for dealing with the stress caused by the hectic pace of the holidays.

6. Make a schedule and stick to it. Take a moment to consider the things you need to do and the time you have left before the holidays. Then pick the best days to complete a task: one day for baking, one day for shopping, one day for cleaning, and so on. It is far better to list your tasks and check them off one by one than to try to do everything all at once.

7. Make a budget and stick to it. You don't want to paying for gifts you bought in 2010 when you retire in 2035. It is always better to buy gifts with the money you have now. If it is a life-changing gift, then make a point of saving up for it throughout the next year. Don't try to buy love with gifts—there is unfortunately always a higher bidder.

8. Don't abandon healthy habits, especially with your diet. If you are on a diet for weight loss or diabetes, in particular, you don't want to cause yourself months of problems by eating too much. If the food you want is “forbidden,” then consider if there are other foods you don't enjoy as much that you can leave out. And remember that it is always easier to diet to correct the effects of eating a slice of pie than it is to correct the problems caused by eating a whole pie, a piece of candy rather than a box of candy, and so on.

9. Take a time out. If you feel the stress of the holidays becoming too much to handle, take a breather. Schedule even five minutes by yourself free of distractions to recharge, reorient, and start again.

10. Set aside differences and disappointments. It's a rare holiday that is perfect. If you experience friction with people or frustration with gifts and holiday events, note them and move on. Life is too short to spend it on rehashing differences and disappointments.

The holidays don't have to be a time to dread. With planning and positive thinking, everyone can find something to enjoy this time of year.