Conceiving With A Sperm Donor: Known Sperm Donors Vs Anonymous Sperm Donors

Considering A Known Donor: What To Think About

A "known donor", "known sperm donor", or "known gamete provider" is, for the purpose of this article and generally in the context of sperm donation, a man personally known to the woman or couple seeking to conceive with the help of his sperm. That definition allows for rather a broad range of possibilities, however, from a lifelong or very close family friend to a relative of the non-gestational partner (if there is one), and from a distant acquaintance to someone you just met on the internet, sometimes for the very purpose of obtaining his gametes. 

Unfortunately, it's not possible to cover all the advantages and risks of using a known gamete provider in one section of an article that won't be longer than 2,000 words. Figuring out whether a known donor is a good option for you is going to take an awful lot of research, soul-searching, and — ultimately — legal counsel. 

Having said that, here are some issues you will want to consider while looking into the viability of conceiving with the help of a known sperm donor:

• Being aware of the legalities of using a known sperm donor within your particular jurisdiction is of paramount importance. This fact cannot be stressed enough. You need to find out if, and if so under which circumstances, the donor may possibly be considered, by a court, to be the legal parent of your child — even if you trust the donor with your life, because he's your partner's brother for instance. To make this happen, consulting a lawyer who is deeply familiar with gamete donation issues is recommendable. For a general-interest perspective on legal issues surrounding third-party provision of gametes, I'd highly recommend law professor Julie Shapiro's blog on the topic. I am providing the link in the links box at the bottom of this article.
• If you are considering DIY, at-home insemination, please do not forget to have the donor undergo testing for sexually transmitted diseases. If you are using a fertility clinic, because you are going the Intrauterine Insemination route for instance, this will likely be part of the whole package — but still check it out.
• What role would you ideally like your donor to play in your child's life? Think about that, and also think about the emotional implications of what happens if things turn out differently than you expected. (Legal issues are covered above.) What if your donor would like to play a bigger role than you envision? What if he isn't willing to have any contact after all?

Using A Sperm Bank

Would you like to make very sure that your donor does not play an active role in your child's life? Then using a sperm bank is almost certainly going to be the superior option for you. Here are some things to consider before choosing a sperm bank:

• Though you will be able to choose the donor on the basis of ethnic heritage, physique, the profile they provide, their medical history, and some other attributes, you will want to check what procedures your sperm bank has in place to ensure the donor you choose is truly the donor whose gametes you will be receiving. Also keep in mind that, though you will receive a basic medical history, you will probably not be able to contact the donor — directly or indirectly — for additional information should your child have a medical condition.
• What procedures does your sperm bank have in place for ensuring that no single donor produces a very large number of offspring, especially offspring in close geographical proximity? You want to minimize the risk that your child will one day fall in love with a donor sibling without knowing it. Unfortunately, there have been cases of sperm donors producing close to 100 offspring.
• Modern technology — more specifically DNA testing and the internet — mean that anonymity may not really be anonymity. On the positive side, this means you may be able to find donor siblings should you want to. On the other hand, your donor may be able to find your child.
• There are signs that anonymous sperm donation may soon altogether be a thing of the past. By choosing a known donor, you will be able to select a person you actually like. The same thing cannot be said for sperm bank donors.
• If your child's ability to see the donor in person or have some type of relationship during childhood is important to you, then using a sperm bank is not the choice for you.