I'm 23, unemployed, and still living at home with parents. I plan on starting college this January. I was on birth control when I got pregnant so it was not at all intentional.
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for almost a year. He does NOT want this baby. When I told him I was pregnant, without hesitation his response was, "So, abortion right?" I don't know what to do... I really don't want to go through an abortion, but at the same time I don't want to bring a baby into our lives especially when the both of us aren't ready. I definitely don't want to force someone to be a father. I know I can get some help from the state if I decide to keep the baby and I'm sure my parents will help me out financially. But I really don't know how much longer the father and I are going to be together. I do not want to be a single mother, not to mention one of those people who pops out 4 kids all by different dads. I want to give my child a good life and I want it to have two parents who love it. And I never wanted to have a baby if I had to get help supporting it... I feel so disgusted that I'd have to live off the state.
I found out today as I watched videos of an 8 week old embryo, that it moves around inside me... And now I feel even worse for some reason. Is it a human life? I know it can't feel yet but I don't know if I can have someone suck it out with a tube. I have an appointment with Planned Parenthood tomorrow for a pre-op. Then the day after tomorrow I am scheduled for the abortion. I am not looking forward to the side affects if I go through with it. But I don't want the side affects of a pregnancy either. :-(
I really don't know what to do.
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for almost a year. He does NOT want this baby. When I told him I was pregnant, without hesitation his response was, "So, abortion right?" I don't know what to do... I really don't want to go through an abortion, but at the same time I don't want to bring a baby into our lives especially when the both of us aren't ready. I definitely don't want to force someone to be a father. I know I can get some help from the state if I decide to keep the baby and I'm sure my parents will help me out financially. But I really don't know how much longer the father and I are going to be together. I do not want to be a single mother, not to mention one of those people who pops out 4 kids all by different dads. I want to give my child a good life and I want it to have two parents who love it. And I never wanted to have a baby if I had to get help supporting it... I feel so disgusted that I'd have to live off the state.
I found out today as I watched videos of an 8 week old embryo, that it moves around inside me... And now I feel even worse for some reason. Is it a human life? I know it can't feel yet but I don't know if I can have someone suck it out with a tube. I have an appointment with Planned Parenthood tomorrow for a pre-op. Then the day after tomorrow I am scheduled for the abortion. I am not looking forward to the side affects if I go through with it. But I don't want the side affects of a pregnancy either. :-(
I really don't know what to do.
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Celebrity
495 posts
If this happened to me, Id be very selfish. I would think of me an me only.
Its your life you are the one left to deal with it.
Yes you will get help an support. But its your body. Remember that. Because people will tell you all the high an mighty reasons why you should do the right thing.
If my daughter wanted an abortion, An im not a lover of them at all, i would support her in that decision.
If she wanted to keep it then again she would get my full support. But id make it clear how hard it is being a single parent, even with all the help an support from me.
Then there is the other option. Adoption..... That one would be my toughy. Only because i love children, an when i saw the baby id love it instantly and want it in my life.
But if she decided to do that then id support her.
There are so many people out there wanting children.
As for your partner!!!!!!!!
Do you need him???
Do you need someone with that attitude???
Mistakes happen, but we descuss them as adults an sort it together.
Read my first few lines again an remember. Your life!!!!
Its your life you are the one left to deal with it.
Yes you will get help an support. But its your body. Remember that. Because people will tell you all the high an mighty reasons why you should do the right thing.
If my daughter wanted an abortion, An im not a lover of them at all, i would support her in that decision.
If she wanted to keep it then again she would get my full support. But id make it clear how hard it is being a single parent, even with all the help an support from me.
Then there is the other option. Adoption..... That one would be my toughy. Only because i love children, an when i saw the baby id love it instantly and want it in my life.
But if she decided to do that then id support her.
There are so many people out there wanting children.
As for your partner!!!!!!!!
Do you need him???
Do you need someone with that attitude???
Mistakes happen, but we descuss them as adults an sort it together.
Read my first few lines again an remember. Your life!!!!
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I am not going to try to talk you out of having an abortion. I have had 2 of them and each of my girls had one. I am not at liberty to pass judgement on anyone in this situation...but, you don't need the father around to raise this baby, granted it would be nice to have 2 parents, but sometimes we don't all get what we want. If that was the case, this would be a perfect world, wouldn't it? This guy doesn't have to be "daddy" but he most certainly will have to take care of business because he is the father. There is a hugh difference between a daddy and a father.
Just for a minute, take the bio father out of the picture. If he wants nothing to do with the baby, he will probably be invisible most of the time anyway.
You will have plenty of support from your mom/dad, and like you said, Social Services will be a hugh financial help. You can get medical for you and the baby and they also have a program called "wic" where you can get all the formula you need for months and months. They also give mom milk and cereal and they provide vouchers for fresh veggies at the local vegatable stands. They make sure that you are getting the proper nutrician while you are pregnant and they help after to.
Then there will be child support. No matter how much the father wants nothing to do with the whole picture, trust me, there will be child support.
But aside from all that, you must do what is best for you. You can still go to college, you can still do all the things that you planned to do, the only diff is that you would have a baby in tow.
I am not for abortion, nor am i against it, i have no right. But i will tell you that if i had to do it over again, (2 abortions) i would have done the same thing. That is just the way it had to be at the time.
So good luck, make your decision wisely. There are counselors that will talk to you before and after the procedure. There are after care counselors available to you for sessions.
Don't be digusted with yourself,s**t happens and sometimes it's out of our control, like you getting pregnant while on bc, holy cow, who knew!!
You were taking the right steps to avoid pregnancy, and it's not anyones fault.
Just for a minute, take the bio father out of the picture. If he wants nothing to do with the baby, he will probably be invisible most of the time anyway.
You will have plenty of support from your mom/dad, and like you said, Social Services will be a hugh financial help. You can get medical for you and the baby and they also have a program called "wic" where you can get all the formula you need for months and months. They also give mom milk and cereal and they provide vouchers for fresh veggies at the local vegatable stands. They make sure that you are getting the proper nutrician while you are pregnant and they help after to.
Then there will be child support. No matter how much the father wants nothing to do with the whole picture, trust me, there will be child support.
But aside from all that, you must do what is best for you. You can still go to college, you can still do all the things that you planned to do, the only diff is that you would have a baby in tow.
I am not for abortion, nor am i against it, i have no right. But i will tell you that if i had to do it over again, (2 abortions) i would have done the same thing. That is just the way it had to be at the time.
So good luck, make your decision wisely. There are counselors that will talk to you before and after the procedure. There are after care counselors available to you for sessions.
Don't be digusted with yourself,s**t happens and sometimes it's out of our control, like you getting pregnant while on bc, holy cow, who knew!!
You were taking the right steps to avoid pregnancy, and it's not anyones fault.
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this is a huge desicion that only YOU can make. i had an abortion 6 weeks ago for the same reason. my boyfriend didnt want our child, im still at home, i have no move out by feb, i dont have a stable income...i just felt completely alone and didnt think i could handle all the responsibilities of being a mother.
think of it this way, birth control, condoms, spermacides etc.. are things that stop pregnancys from happening. abortion is not a method of birth control, but why should a women be given the option to prevent it from happening, but when it does (say by accident) they are made to feel like monsters for making a decision to end a pregnancy they didnt want. it is nothing to be ashamed of, and DO NOT listen to all the pro-life stories that you read on the internet, they are written to scare you.
i was 7 weeks pregnant when i had my abortion, it did not hurt physically, it wasnt as painful as you might read. it lasts about 3-5 minutes long. BUT i will say, emotionally it will bother you every now and then, but eventually you get to a point where you accept it. its the process of maurning. i am doing pretty good since my procedure, but from time to time i find it almost unbearable to come to terms with what i did. but deep in my heart i know it was the right thing to do. i, like you didnt think i could do it. i said to everybody that knew " i cant do it, i can see myself getting to the clinic, and leaving". but i found the strength to do what was best for me. as selfish as it sounds..
i have a theory thats making it easier to deal with.
God gives each person an amount of children they are destined to have. no matter what, those children will be born. i do not believe that because i had an abortion, that soul is lost. when i am ready, and when i can provide all that i can for my child, God will give me another chance to have that baby.
i really hope you do whats right for you. abortion is not for everyone, and it is a very sensitive issue. take some time to really think about your desicion, and weigh out any possible alternatives such as adoption.
im always here to talk if you need to.
best of luck xox
think of it this way, birth control, condoms, spermacides etc.. are things that stop pregnancys from happening. abortion is not a method of birth control, but why should a women be given the option to prevent it from happening, but when it does (say by accident) they are made to feel like monsters for making a decision to end a pregnancy they didnt want. it is nothing to be ashamed of, and DO NOT listen to all the pro-life stories that you read on the internet, they are written to scare you.
i was 7 weeks pregnant when i had my abortion, it did not hurt physically, it wasnt as painful as you might read. it lasts about 3-5 minutes long. BUT i will say, emotionally it will bother you every now and then, but eventually you get to a point where you accept it. its the process of maurning. i am doing pretty good since my procedure, but from time to time i find it almost unbearable to come to terms with what i did. but deep in my heart i know it was the right thing to do. i, like you didnt think i could do it. i said to everybody that knew " i cant do it, i can see myself getting to the clinic, and leaving". but i found the strength to do what was best for me. as selfish as it sounds..
i have a theory thats making it easier to deal with.
God gives each person an amount of children they are destined to have. no matter what, those children will be born. i do not believe that because i had an abortion, that soul is lost. when i am ready, and when i can provide all that i can for my child, God will give me another chance to have that baby.
i really hope you do whats right for you. abortion is not for everyone, and it is a very sensitive issue. take some time to really think about your desicion, and weigh out any possible alternatives such as adoption.
im always here to talk if you need to.
best of luck xox
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So I went in for my pre-op on the 29th. When we walked into the clinic I instantly had a horrible feeling. I just couldn't go through with it. I canceled the abortion for the next day and it felt like a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had felt so selfish and guilty. But now I have to take care of a baby.
Things are going to be really hard for me for the next few years. I am still going to start school in January. I'm not letting a pregnancy stop me from getting an education. I want to make my child's life the best one I can possibly give it.
The father and I aren't going to last very long. I am going to become my worst fear: a single mother. I'm pretty sure he's trying to hook up with women when I'm not around. It makes me sick that he's lying to me and these other women. I doubt they know that he has gotten me pregnant. But I'm sure there's a good guy out there that I have yet to meet, that wouldn't mind dating someone with a baby. I guess I just have to try to be patient and try not to stress over the situation I am in.
An abortion would have made the both of our lives easier. It would have been the choice that made the most sense. But I think I would have deeply regretted it. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I was killing something for stupid selfish reasons. I wasn't raped. I am (barely) capable of raising a child. I am in the process of making my life better and more stable. I think it's time for me to grow up. I'm almost 24 years old. I think I can be ready for this.
With that said, I think abortion IS A CHOICE. I think it depends on the situation and the person. I don't think abortion is a good or a bad thing. I just think sometimes for some people, it just needs to be done.
Thanks to anyone who gave me advice. :-)
Things are going to be really hard for me for the next few years. I am still going to start school in January. I'm not letting a pregnancy stop me from getting an education. I want to make my child's life the best one I can possibly give it.
The father and I aren't going to last very long. I am going to become my worst fear: a single mother. I'm pretty sure he's trying to hook up with women when I'm not around. It makes me sick that he's lying to me and these other women. I doubt they know that he has gotten me pregnant. But I'm sure there's a good guy out there that I have yet to meet, that wouldn't mind dating someone with a baby. I guess I just have to try to be patient and try not to stress over the situation I am in.
An abortion would have made the both of our lives easier. It would have been the choice that made the most sense. But I think I would have deeply regretted it. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I was killing something for stupid selfish reasons. I wasn't raped. I am (barely) capable of raising a child. I am in the process of making my life better and more stable. I think it's time for me to grow up. I'm almost 24 years old. I think I can be ready for this.
With that said, I think abortion IS A CHOICE. I think it depends on the situation and the person. I don't think abortion is a good or a bad thing. I just think sometimes for some people, it just needs to be done.
Thanks to anyone who gave me advice. :-)
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Your baby is so grateful to you for the sacrifice you're making to give it life. It is a living human being according to scientific definition, and more importantly, according to what you already know in your heart.
You don't have to be a single mom either. There is a line of adoptive-parents-to-be a mile long that would love to give your baby a wonderful home with a mother and a father and your love and support too. Open adoptions (where the birth mother is involved in the baby's life) are more and more common and even required in some states. Google "adoption" and your location and many links will come up. It is no cost to the birth mother and in some cases, your needs may be financially by the program.
Congratulations again for making a selfless decision. Whether you parent or place for adoption, you're a very brave lady.
You don't have to be a single mom either. There is a line of adoptive-parents-to-be a mile long that would love to give your baby a wonderful home with a mother and a father and your love and support too. Open adoptions (where the birth mother is involved in the baby's life) are more and more common and even required in some states. Google "adoption" and your location and many links will come up. It is no cost to the birth mother and in some cases, your needs may be financially by the program.
Congratulations again for making a selfless decision. Whether you parent or place for adoption, you're a very brave lady.
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From the moment you decided to keep your baby, your life changed. But it's a good change and you will be rewarded a million times over. As far as the baby's father is concerned, let him move on. He obviously has more important things to do. You say you are barely capable of raising a child, you are more capable then you think my dear. Maternal instincts kick in out of no where and you will protect your child with your life. The second you feel that little kick in your tummy for the first time you will be over joyed.
You have made the decision to become a mommy and you will find a way to be the best mommy you can be. Don't worry to much about being a single parent, it's not the end of the world. And your right, there are many nice guys out there who would date and marry a single mom, but that should be the farthest thing from your mind right now. You said it's time for you to grow up, you did grow up hon, from the moment you made the decision to walk away from the clinic, still carrying your baby.
The moment the Dr. puts that sweet little brand new baby in your arms, the rush of love will be overwhelming, and from that day on the rewards will begin. Don't think about what you almost did, think about what you didn't do as the proof of that lies in your arms.
You have made the decision to become a mommy and you will find a way to be the best mommy you can be. Don't worry to much about being a single parent, it's not the end of the world. And your right, there are many nice guys out there who would date and marry a single mom, but that should be the farthest thing from your mind right now. You said it's time for you to grow up, you did grow up hon, from the moment you made the decision to walk away from the clinic, still carrying your baby.
The moment the Dr. puts that sweet little brand new baby in your arms, the rush of love will be overwhelming, and from that day on the rewards will begin. Don't think about what you almost did, think about what you didn't do as the proof of that lies in your arms.
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you have made such a good decision and although i dont know you i am so proud of you. wish i could have been as brave as you. its amazing that you changed your mind and now someone has a life thanks to you. i had an abortion around 7/8 months ago. Now i would be 39 weeks pregnant and i regret the decision that i made so so much. Right now i would have either had my baby or would be having it very very soon. Cant believe what i am missing out on and what i have put my own baby through. i need to talk to someone but how, what am i mento say it just gets me so upset. i only turned 17 last week, im still a kid myself i cant handle all this pain on my own. Me and the father arent together anymore, we wernt when i found out i was pregnant. He had dumped me a few weeks before and that hurt enough so finding out i was pregnant was really hard. What am i mento do to get over this? i never want to forget my gorgeous baby i just want to feel like i have the right to live and to have fun with my family and my friends. All i think about is would my baby be a boy or a girl? would it look like me or the father? what would my baby be like in five.. ten.. fifteen years time?
thanks guys
you made the right decision, be proud of yourself x
thanks guys
you made the right decision, be proud of yourself x
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Do not go through an abortion. I became pregnant qt 19 and was persuaded by my family to get one. I was so confused an then Ihad the abortion at 8 weeks pregnant. It has haunted me ever since. It is murder and God has a special plan for your life, and this baby even though a accident it happened is really no accident. There are special gifts from God to us, no matter the circumstances. I regret ever terminating my first pregnancy and wish I could redo my mistake. I now have a 28 year old daughter and am glad I was able to have her. But I deeply regret killing the life that was inside me when I was 19. That life has a right to live. Even if you do not want to be a mother or a single parent, there are so many people who are married and cannot have children, and you could place your child for adoption and give them a loving home with all that you could not give them at this time.
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Hello Im 18 years old and im pregnant , but i wanna have the baby but im not with his or her father anymore ! and my mom does not want me to have the child she dont supports me and my dad dose not know... what should I do?
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I would advice you to not have an abortion. I am 20 almost 21 and I got pregnant this summer me and had an abortion when I was 11 weeks. The babies father didn't want a baby and I couldn't tell my parents. Me and the guy don't even speak now we hate each other because of going through the situation and I've been deeply depressed from the abortion. I want my baby back so bad and would do anything to change the situation. I am now in a counseling group for abortion and working through my depression. But I beg you not to get it the regret from an abortion ruins so much especially if you already feel this way. You can find help and be a single mom trust me it's way easier to be a single mom then to deal with this.
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hello in my case never would take an innocent life and understand that there are times where it is impossible to bring life into the world I have a marriage of three years and I can not have childrenwhy not bring it to the world and give it to people They will be cut to give a home ready for that angel if your belly is because God wants
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I'm so scared. I know deep down that I personally can't go through with an abortion. i am already attached to what is inside me. but I can't raise a child. I don't know what to do. I feel alone and helpless. Your story was beautiful and as much as i agree; i would also deeply regret a termination; you are yet to deal with the consequences of saying no and proceeding with your pregnancy. I'm terrified of making either choice but i'm already 8weeks and decisions must be made. I wish i'd wake up and find this was all a dream but it'snot, and i'm dying inside not knowing what to do. either way iknow i willstruggle and feelpain, how on earth do decide???
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