No depression, no anxiety. The only thing that has changed is I'm more aware of my thoughts. Like don't get me wrong, they're not racing constant thoughts that I monitor every waking hour like when everything first started but if I get a scary thought, I acknowledge it and move on, it does not mean anything! Where as prior to the whole experience, I would get a weird or scary thought and not even give it a second thought. Sometimes laugh and think oh where did that come from haha.
but I'm happy to report that I'm going great! It took a while to get there but I'm here now.
Hi ladies!
I want to share a bit of my story and give a little encouragement to help you along the way. My story began back in March when I was bumped up to all higher dosage hormone twice in two months (first in Feb. then again in March). I began having spells of shortness of breath, trembling, and nearly blacking out ( once at work and once while driving was not fun). I then went to see my Family Doc. whom suspected the birth control, but did not mention it to me at that time.
The next week I was sitting on my couch when out of no where I began to feel shortness of breath again, lots of trembling, and this time with heavy anxiety (Just want to take a moment here and say that up to this point in life I had never felt anything like this. I was overcome by terrifying thoughts, my muscles shook so bad I needed help walking, and I broke out in hives all over my face, neck and chest). I was driven to the ER by my sweet husband. After hours in the ER and lots of blood work I was told it was just a severe anxiety attack probably due to a stressful life (which I don't have); and I was given zanax and sent home. The next day I went back to my family doc whom took me off the birth control immediately and also prescribed me zanax.
Over the next several months I felt absolutely horrible. I had terrible migraines (never experienced those until this point), insomnia, depression, anxiety, digestion pain, diarrhea etc.. at this point all I could do was lay on the couch and watch tv (fixer upper to be exact) to get my mind off how horrible I felt. My symptoms lessened very gradually, and began to peak and dip with points in my cycle (which at this point were all over the map! Very long cycles).
In June, about 4 weeks into a very long cycle the feeling of depression became much worse. I was unable to get out of bed and brush my teeth without sitting on the floor leaning my head on a pillow (side note: this is when I began to notice that things got worse right before I bled. It gets better keep reading
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Next day I went to a NP because we were visiting parents out of town. She told me this happens sometime when your hormones change, like a postpartum depression after giving birth. She put me on a very small dosage of celexa: 20mg. And in 3 weeks things were much better! Life was livable and that was so nice. The celexa did not take away the feelings entirely; but it did allow me to ignore the feelings and enjoy life in spite of them. (Side note again: I came to be thankful for the celexa not removing the feelings altogether because it allowed me to gage how my body was healing).
Over the next several months I lived life as normal as possible. I worked out whenever I could (and some days I had to take off work because all I could do was sleep). I started the whole30 nutrition plan (which I'm still on because I just love it), and I read Laura Briden's Period Recovery Manual. That book, more than anything helped me figure out what was going on and provided me with good supplements to take based on my symptoms.
It is now November and I feel 100% normal most of the time. On occasion during ovulation or before I bleed I can feel my emotions rise a bit, but most of the time I don't even think about it! My body is still healing, and will continue to do so, but I can be myself while it does. There was a time when I wasn't sure if I would ever be the same or if I did get better that I wouldn't be able to cope with the trauma of it all, but that's not the case. The experience has been a hard one for sure, but my life is better for it and I am thankful for the good that has come out of it all and you will too once you come out on the other side.
I also wanted to mention a few things that helped me through the toughest times and still help me when I have a random fear that things might revert back to the bad days (however irrational that might be
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Most helpful and importantly: break out that old bible your grandma gave you and read it! There is nothing more comforting in a time of such uncertainty and fear (or anytime) than reading the timeless truths that have always been true and will never change. Most of the time, the zanax couldn't get me to sleep (or even calmed down), so I would open up to the Psalms or to Ephesians and after a few chapters I was comforted and would fall right to sleep. Trusting in Jesus will get you through it more than any medication or therapy. Try Psalms 91, 42, 17 any of them really:)
Taking time for yourself is huge while your body is healing! Sleep sleep sleep! Or resting on the couch as much as you can. Don't take on extra stressors, whatever those may be for you. For me driving myself places was too much for me for several months (made me very anxious), so my husband would carry me wherever I needed to go. I also did things that I enjoyed like listening to my favorite music (try anything by Bethel Music), I started knitting crafts, and hand lettering. Keeping my mind off how I was feeling was a big key in keeping my heart calm.
I mentioned earlier Laura Briden's book Period Recovery Manual. This is an incredibly informative book! It helped me see by my symptoms what vitamins I needed more of and also it helped me see what was going on. Ovulation is key for all hormonal balance for women. If you are not ovulation, you aren't producing serotonin (among other things) and therefore; you are not your happy normal self. Birth control stops your ovulation and provides you body with suedo hormones to keep you "balanced", so when you come off BC it takes a while for your body to figure things out again, mainly ovulation. Getting your body back to ovulating and regularly is the key to recovery and this book provides numerous routes to getting you there.
Last of all, as you will hear in the book if you get it, your body wants to be leveled out and performing at its peak functionality. It is working hard toward getting back on track every day. It just takes time.
On a tough day I read a girl on this blog say, 'just ride the roller coaster and it will eventually stop'. She is right. You will feel skeptical at first when you start feeling good again, and especially when you have a good day and then the anxiety starts again. It will come and go, but eventually it will go away all together. Don't judge your own experience by what you read on the web or anywhere els. Gain encouragement from the Stories, but don't let other people's time line for healing work you into thinking your experience is something else entirely (been there
There are plenty of symptoms I dealt with and still am working through (like the eczema on my arms which I have never had in my life
I just wanted to come on here and share my story. About two months ago i went off birth control after being on for 8 years (15yrs-23yrs) The first month i didn't experience many differences just slightly bad anxiety but recently the past two weeks has been absolutely horrible. I have always had a more anxious personality but nothing to this degree. Two weeks ago i went to my family doctor to tell her my symptoms and said maybe it had something to do with the birthcontrol since I've never felt this way before in my life and she was very dismissive of that and shut down that option right away. The last two weeks i have had the worst anxiety and panic attacks(never had a panic attack until now) these panic attacks have landed me in the ER twice!! my body gets all hot and so sweaty, it feels like i cant breathe and my face gets all tingly. The ER doctor did a xray on my chest and lungs which came out fine, a test on my heart and took blood samples - all coming back fine. I just cant seem to fight off this fear of not being able to breathe, like someone is constantly chocking me. He did, however, inform me that that is a sign of bad anxiety. I was referred to a psychiatrist doctor the next day who listened to me talk for 5 minutes then prescribed me anti-depressants... taking medication has always scared me so thinking of taking this gives me even more anxiety!! i made an appointment with a psychotherapist from school who talked with me for over an hour on ways to help calm your body down, i have been trying them but still feels like im going crazy in my own head. I have such bad anxiety that everything scares me, i have become so ocd and i obsess over everything. THIS IS NOT ME. I'm normally so happy and outgoing. My nephew turned 3 two days ago and i missed his birthday party because of all this. I have lost about 10 pounds in 2 weeks and i have no desire to eat at all. I also experienced diahrea and vomiting. I have taken time off work and school but fear i may never be able to return. When i go out in public i constantly fear thinking im going to stop breathing/have a panic attack. I made an appointment with a doctor for next week who specializes in women's health and hormones and I'm hoping for some answers. i constantly feel short on breath and pain in my chest. IF ANYONE has advice i would love it or can relate. This forum already made me feel better as i see other people suffering too so i know im not alone. Thanks xoxox
Your post is like you wrote about me, down to the T. Same age starting BC, Same age Stopping, Same Symptoms, Same Doctors telling me to take an antidepressant. Its like a God Send. I hope you are still able to reply to this. My question to you is did it take over a year to feel better, or did you gradually feel better? I am seeing a counselor to help cope with the anxiety and panic, and am also going to a Naturopath who is giving me bio-identical progesterone.
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I would like to
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