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I’m so glad to talk to someone that understands ! I’ve been trying to explain to my husband the fact that I’m aware of my thoughts (especially when it’s time to sleep, feels like my brain doesn’t know what to do) and the dissociation (a lot better but I still have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror) but he doesn’t really understand which i guess is normal if it never happened to you.
I tried to go on your profile but didn’t see a way to send a direct message. If you have time (and it doesn’t get censored) could you add me in the group ?

Rose

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I’m so glad to talk to someone that understands ! I’ve been trying to explain to my husband the fact that I’m aware of my thoughts (especially when it’s time to sleep, feels like my brain doesn’t know what to do) and the dissociation (a lot better but I still have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror) but he doesn’t really understand which i guess is normal if it never happened to you.
I tried to go on your profile but didn’t see a way to send a direct message.
It’s actually my second time posting this message, the first one was deleted because I gave you my Facebook username. Does your groupe chat has a name ?

Rose

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Ugh, it got removed before I could see it.

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So the exact same thing happen to me. I don’t think people talk about it enough. But I had started birth control and I think I got through the first pack and I kind of felt weird so I started the second pack anyway but I still felt off so I quit mid pack. I wasn’t told that I shouldn’t do that and also for my first time taking it she didn’t give me a low-dose. So I pretty much felt like I was going crazy. I called off my wedding I couldn’t be around my fiancé. I only felt safe around my parents and I couldn’t go out in public and I couldn’t travel anywhere. I had really bad thoughts I mean it was crazy. I had my hormones rechecked and they said they were fine but I think when your brain has a way of thinking for so long it creates a habit of thinking that way. So I basically just had to get through it and it took me almost 2 years to feel normal again. I’m supposed to start some thing today actually and I’m really nervous about it and I keep telling myself it’s only because I messed up the first time and if I feel off on it now that I just need to get through the first three months.
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Hey Lilly, it’s Kayla. I just wanted to see how you’re doing? I just got over my period and am still spotting a bit. I was a nervous/anxious emotional wreck this last period and am feeling some better now, but it really scared me. 2 days before my period I had a spell where I felt like I was being viciously shaken on the inside and that just started the downward spiral of my period. Have you ever experienced the shaking on the inside? I’m right at 4 months off now and I do see improvement, but I am definitely not 100% me yet. I cannot wait for this to be over. I hope you’re doing well though!
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Hey Kayla- it’s Lilly. Thanks for checking in! I’m officially over 5 months off and have been doing a bit better! I had a major hiccup a few weeks ago - didn’t eat or sleep for 2 weeks and was an anxious and depressed wreck. The fog lifted and I haven’t really had any anxiety for the last 2.5 weeks! My appetite returned and I have been sleeping better with the help of Xanax. One thing I’m still having a hard time with is hair loss. It’s stressing me out so much I feel like I am going to be bald by the time I’m through this. Yes- I get the internal feelings of shaking a lot still. It happens with hormonal fluctuations I feel like especially around my period. Im glad to hear you are feeling a bit better tho! Just keep telling yourself things can only go up from here. I’m trying to remind myself that the hardest part is behind me and things can only improve from here on out. I’ve read that a lot of people feel better between 5-6 months so I’m hoping this trend is here to stay!

I have a dr. Appointment next week so im hoping that’ll ease my mind a bit. I also started acupuncture which seems to be helping a lot! I will keep checking in the next few months. We will get through this!
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Hey!! It’s Kayla again. Since I last posted, I received my Dutch test results. I have estrogen dominance and my progesterone is very very low…like in the post menopausal range :( but anyways, I just started vitex and I hope it starts helping quickly. Im also on an anti inflammatory diet… no dairy, soy, gluten, sugar… I think it’s helping. I just feel like since my last period I’ve been very stressed and feel on the verge of panic a lot the last week/week and a half. I’m also very very very emotional. I can cry at anything. I also noticed the amount of stress that I can handle has went way down. I feel like I’ve fell back into a bit of a depression after I was feeling a lot better. One step forward, three steps back. Ugh. The period before this last one was fine, and I really just felt like c**p with this last one. I’m praying in a couple months this will all be a distant memory. I’m over it all.
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Hey! Lilly again. Oh wow I've been wanting to do the Dutch test- was the process easy? At least you have some answers! Did they recommend like a progesterone cream or anything to boost your levels? I'm sure the vitex will help- I want to ask my dr. about that when I see her on Friday but since I've been getting regular periods idk if she will recommend it or not. The dietary changes will definitely help too. I've tried to eat as clean as possible but its hard when I've lost so much weight I want to still have really calorie dense foods. I definitely notice when I eat unhealthy the heart palps start up again, especially with anything sugary. It was after my last period in my 4th month that things went really downhill for me too, but now I feel so much better. It lasted a good 2 weeks and it was utter hell- I felt as bad as I did when this whole thing started. I know how hard hiccups can be but just remember healing is not linear and even when you think you are regressing you are still moving forward in the recovery process with every given day. This will definitely be a distant memory soon. There are days where I forget about everything going on and those are great days! It's when I obsess and read everything that I start to get in my head. I'm just trying to live my life as normal now- booking trips with my husband to see friends, going out to dinners, etc. anything to take my mind off of this c**p and feel like a normal human again. I know this will all be behind us soon, I'm beyond over it as well and I'm not going to let it ruin my life any more than it has!
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Kayla here. The lady I’m working with told me to let’s try the vitex, vitamin c & diet first and see how I do with it. I’m praying that will be all I need to raise it. If not, progesterone cream it is. I really hope before the end of the year I’m feeling so much better and 2023 can be MY year. I feel like this mess ruined the latter part of this year for me. From the end of May til now and probably a couple more months. I would do almost anything to go back in time and have never took those pills. I really think something must have been a little off with me before I started them & taking them just set off a lot of problems. I’m going to try to keep a lot of the diet stuff even when I feel better because I never want to feel like this again. Last month I was even having days were I was almost not thinking about it and then out of nowhere I feel back into the worst symptoms days before my period came. It’s like feelings and stuff get stuck in my head and I can’t get them out. I’ve also been feeling stuck. Like when I’m at work I feel like I can’t escape and feel trapped and that causes me to want to panic and cry. But, anyways.. I’m glad you’re starting to feel better! We will get through this! Keep in touch!
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Hey everyone,

My name is Ksenia. I posted on here when I was 6 weeks post-birth control pill. I’m now just over 4 months off and what a journey this has been.

I decided to go off the pill because I was on a gut healing journey and decided I didn’t want to put synthetic hormones into my body anymore. I wish I would’ve been warned about what was to follow…

My symptoms have included: brain zaps, heart palpitations (which led me to go to emergency on one occasion), muscle twitches, hot flashes, anxiety, health anxiety/OCD, dizziness, excessive belching, derealization, panic attacks, pressure in head, insomnia, thoughts of breaking up with partner, terrible PMS/mood swings, excessive urination at night, blocked sinuses (suspected histamine intolerance), other food sensitivities, changes in my gut, restlessness.

It is a long road but I think that very, very slowly, things are improving. My heart palpitations and hot flashes were some of my first symptoms but are no longer there (only appear very rarely). I also remember that when I first went off the pill, I struggled to do ANYTHING. I couldn’t even sit on my couch and read a book without feeling extremely restless and moving around constantly due to the anxiety. Now, although some days are worse than others, I can do things that resemble somewhat of a normal life.

The pros of going off birth control so far have been a slight reduction in bloating (though this isn’t consistent across my cycle), my hairdresser mentioned my hair is fuller, my libido has increased and I have less vaginal dryness. Not sure if this is a pro lol but I’m also a lot more aware of other men, even though I’m in a stable long-term relationship, I find myself looking at attractive men and thinking about them much more frequently. During the first few months off the pill, leading up to ovulation I’d sometimes find that my libido was so high I couldn’t really think about anything else… it was weird to say the least!

My symptoms now are pretty restricted to just anxiety/health OCD, a pressure feeling in my head and insomnia. The insomnia is terrible though. Like to the point that every few nights I just can’t sleep at all. It’s been ruining my mood and productivity levels but I’m trying to remind myself that it’s hormonal and not forever. I’m doing a 28 day saliva hormone test to see where things are at - just need to wait for my period to start again to do it as I need to start the test on Day 1.

The things that I’ve been doing that I think have helped at least somewhat: taking evening primrose oil, B vitamins, fish oil, vitamin C and zinc, taking magnesium before bed, getting into light exercise again, epsom salt baths, meditation, going to therapy, drinking dandelion root tea, eating as clean as possible, removing alcohol, gluten and dairy from my diet, prioritising rest and spending time with loved ones.

The things that I’ve done that I’m not certain had any effect: acupuncture (in fact, my insomnia seemed particularly bad after each acupuncture session). I did about 6-7 sessions and have now stopped.

If anybody has any tips on hormonal insomnia then please let me know! Hang in there everyone, it’s a tough road but we will make it out to the other side and be stronger for it. Every time I have a bad day/night of sleep I come onto this forum and read old posts and it’s so reassuring to know we’re not alone in this journey. Sending everyone lots of love X
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Kayla here again. I’m 6 months and a couple days off birth control now. I am feeling a lot better than I was even the last time I posted here (2 months ago). My anxiety is still around, but nowhere near where it was. I have days now where I want to be social and I want to go out shopping. I still have “bad” days, but they’re nowhere near as bad as they once were. I still think about this whole ordeal every day, but it isn’t ruling my life like it was. This was the worst experience of my life and I pray that I never have to deal with anything like it again.

What I think has helped me the most over the last 2 months is starting Vitex. I was wary at first, but I’m so glad I took the chance with vitex. Like I said, I still have anxious thoughts, but it’s easier for me now to distract my mind. I don’t cry like I did about everything. I still don’t like being alone, but I can be in my own for a while now without feeling sad or depressed. I like having company, it makes me feel more normal. I would love to hear from you guys!!! I hope you’re all doing well.


To anyone who’s looking at this thread, just know it IS hormones and you WILL get better. I was so lost at one point. I thought there was no getting out of this. I’m still not 100%, but I am so much better. You will get through this!
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How are you now?
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Hi everyone,

I have been reading this thread almost everyday for at least two months now. I have been on the pill for just under 10 years (17-27 and I was on Rigevidon, generic version of Microgynon combined pill). At the end of October during my 7 day break from the pill, I woke up one morning with an overwhelming sense of doom and panic and my mind was racing. Something told me my hormones may have had something to do with this, so I decided to not continue with my pill after my 7 day break. What has followed has probably been the worst couple of months of my life. For the first month, I was constantly anxious, not able to concentrate on anything and was ruminating over past mistakes that haven't ever bothered me before. I couldn't eat or sleep properly due to constant anxiety. It's like my brain had been obsessed with these thoughts. My heart would feel like it was going to pound out of my chest! I had some shortness of breath as if I was gasping for air, would wake up in the middle of the night sweating and the feelings of doom were neat enough constant. I thought I was losing my mind and that I would be like this forever! 

My physical symptoms have somewhat reduced and I have my appetite back and have had some good, full nights sleep. However, my mind is still racing and I'm constantly ruminating. I have had two periods, fairly normal and on time, but on the heavier side. I have felt some slight relief since the end of my second period, and hope that this continues. I am also attending counselling sessions and have been prescribed a low dose of anti anxiety meds. I am staying away from caffeine completely and taking vitamin d, vitamin c, vitamin b12, evening primrose oil and cod liver oil.

I'm on my 10th week off the pill and although I'm not in the dreaded place I was at the beginning of this, I still feel like I have a long way to go! Like most of you, I'm constantly doubting whether this is hormones or if I'm going crazy! I'm just hoping I continue to see some improvements. Thank you to those who have posted on here, you have been keeping me sane through the hardest time of my life so far. 

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Hello I am going through the same after my period I began to have intrusive thoughts again. Did you take anything that maybe helped you? Any supplements?
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Hey, sorry to hear you are going through this. I would try ashwaghanda or GABA to help but also just know your thoughts are not facts and you will not act on these intrusive thoughts. Hope you're doing better!
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