Hi,
I was wanting some advice or something.
My boyfriend wants to have sex 24/7 and I don't and the fact of him being so obsessed with sex really puts me off. We don't have sex that many times a week not like we used to, we have been together for about 4 years now and really love each other.
When we don't have sex, he masterbates in bed and he goes at it for about an hour or two (makes me wonder if its worth it) but he will wake me up with him moving the bed constantly then I am awake all night practically then. He is wanting to move in and I now have a new job and I don't want his obession with sex split us up.
Any comments are appreciated, thanks in advance for all the help
I was wanting some advice or something.
My boyfriend wants to have sex 24/7 and I don't and the fact of him being so obsessed with sex really puts me off. We don't have sex that many times a week not like we used to, we have been together for about 4 years now and really love each other.
When we don't have sex, he masterbates in bed and he goes at it for about an hour or two (makes me wonder if its worth it) but he will wake me up with him moving the bed constantly then I am awake all night practically then. He is wanting to move in and I now have a new job and I don't want his obession with sex split us up.
Any comments are appreciated, thanks in advance for all the help
I'm sorry you're experiencing this.
I'm a guy. Just like your boyfriend. I think my high sex drive bothers my girl sometimes. Sometimes we have sex, sometimes she "helps me". And of course, sometimes I masturbate. But when she doesn't need it, and I ask for it, she will sound a little frustrated and say that she's tired, etc.
Taking that long for him to get off seems like a problem. If a young guy takes this long, it means that either he has ED (erectile dysfunction) or he is doing it (far) too often. Maybe he has an addiction to sex? That is, he craves the rush of an orgasm. That is one concern. If this is the case, he needs to make some lifestyle changes. And start chasing another rush (in addition to the sexual one).
Another concern is that he is ruining your sleep. Have you told him? If he loves you as much as he says he does he will make a change. Communication is absolutely key. Don't chew him out all at once. Give him a chance. Remind him that when you sleep poorly, you feel worse during the morning. And you get sick more often.
Since you love each other, talk it out. Be honest, firm. He has his needs, of course. But for god's sake this is about sleep. That need comes waaay first.
Let me know how things play out.
/P_D
I do express my feelings towards this but I made sure I was delicate but I did express my concerns on how long it takes him to get there. He promised that he would no longer do it on a night that he would wait until morning but he does it still, couple of nights ago I was awake all night and didnt get a minute of sleep and he promised again he would stop. Last night was terrible again, I kissed him goodnight (nothing over the top) but he said he needed one then and I went to sleep and about an hour and a half later he wakes me up with the bed wobbling so I sighed had a fag so he was aware that I had woke up, no apologies or nothing. I had finished my fag and put my dressing gown on to go downstairs then he got really angry said he had stopped and go back to bed but I was awake it is useless.
I want to tell him since he is effecting my sleep and I have been in a foul mood all day with him, he knows it has affected me and im off with him but still no apologies or even talking about it. It really is driving me crazy and im worried about starting work (home care worker) so it is important I get my sleep.
I want to tell him since he is effecting my sleep and I have been in a foul mood all day with him, he knows it has affected me and im off with him but still no apologies or even talking about it. It really is driving me crazy and im worried about starting work (home care worker) so it is important I get my sleep.
It's great that you respect him, but does he respect you?
I've got to be honest, I don't feel like you are communicating well at all.
Look him straight in the eyes, and tell him there's a problem between you. Ask him when he can set aside time (at least one full hour, uninterrupted) during which you can come up with a resolution. If needed, schedule more time together.
If you can't find a solution together, consider talking to someone.
I would be ashamed if I were him. If this man is going to be a major part of your life, he better listen. If he won't give you one hour of his time, then this is a red flag...sorry
Here's a crazy idea: Send him an email with a link to our conversation in the subject line. Maybe he can read it while you are sleeping. --> https://www.steadyhealth.com/Boyfriend_masterbates_in_bed_t267888.html
Seriously.
If you can't get through to him.
Do it.
You guys must be very young.. hes probably making you feel uncomfortable but why not try and play around also .. hell get some Sex Toys :)
Thanks Phoenix I will try to talk to him again tomorrow alone and try and talk and work it out.
Yes we both are very young im 19 and he is 20
We don't have a problem in sex wise but it being such a big deal to him, it really puts me off. We have sex toys and such but he is just too turned on all the time and he goes about it wrong, I have tried suggesting him going to bed earlier so he can do his business and I can also have some sleep but he won't. Its coming to the point where I either dont want him living with me or I sleep in a blow-up bed on the floor and that really isnt a relationship and I feel as though we can't keep going on like this. Its not healthy for me or our relationship
Thanks both of you, you have really helped :)
Yes we both are very young im 19 and he is 20
We don't have a problem in sex wise but it being such a big deal to him, it really puts me off. We have sex toys and such but he is just too turned on all the time and he goes about it wrong, I have tried suggesting him going to bed earlier so he can do his business and I can also have some sleep but he won't. Its coming to the point where I either dont want him living with me or I sleep in a blow-up bed on the floor and that really isnt a relationship and I feel as though we can't keep going on like this. Its not healthy for me or our relationship
Thanks both of you, you have really helped :)
I hope there has been some progress in your relationship problem. And also that you are having some time off for the holidays =) Enjoy.