I have been in a relationship w/a functioning alcoholic for 9 yrs. I've broken up w/him 2 Times and then went back. He began wanting to marry me on 2nd date..scared me! Long story,short he hates his 1st wife and blames her for his business failures and I don't u derstand WHY. he never saw his son...after he was about 6 yrs old. He is now 18..but boyfriend is in arrears ppm child support and resents paying. Over past 6 mos. He has secluded himself by making up a story that his phone was stolen. I know he has a pager because I wondered why her has kept received a bill and paying it fr the phone co. He does work fr 830-530 M-F and 8-7 Sat. Goes home as fast as he can and drinks alone. Has stopped dating me . We only have been seeing ea. Other @ Church and I bring Lunch 90% of the time to his Mom's. I also have been picking his Mom up so he can get to Church early since he's a Deacon ! I recently reached out to the Bishop and wive. He sd. Unless he observed the indication of alcohol abuse, he cldn't go on my word because it was hearsay! In past 2 wks. He's treated me as if he hates being around me...so I feel I must leave this Church and prob. return to my former Church. I
So much like my story! I JUST LEFT
the relationship for the 3rd time . God give me the strength to make this one for GOOD. I do pray for his sobriety because I do love him but can't live w/ his addiction anymore. Feel I've just cheated myself out of my yrs fr. Age 54-63. Not very smart of me!
the relationship for the 3rd time . God give me the strength to make this one for GOOD. I do pray for his sobriety because I do love him but can't live w/ his addiction anymore. Feel I've just cheated myself out of my yrs fr. Age 54-63. Not very smart of me!
Yes i can relate. My bf is the same but hasnt went to any rehabs n probably never will. Everything is my fualt when he is drunk
hey I am in the same situation.i love him so much but he is an alcoholic and he abuses me verbally,emotionally and physically.he drinks everyday and it really hurts me that im failing to let him go.
How are you doing now? Did you take him back again?
I am just learning this about my boyfriend tonight. I didn't realize 5 days ago when things started to go wrong. He blames me for the fights and for him getting so upset. He calls me names and puts me down. Apparently he was a real bad alcoholic in his past and now that he is working, he drinks every day after work. He was so bad that he ended up in the ICU because of it. If he's out, he can't get out the door fast enough. He has people who will bring him alcohol and weed. His dad tells me to hang in there as long as possible (we've been together 6 months) but I don't know how much more I can take of this.
I hear that
I have come to understand that my co-dependence may make me sicker than my alcoholic boyfriend of 3 years. I have no other reasonable excuse for why I should have stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship for that amount of time, except that my very dysfunctional childhood insured that I am addicted to pain and not to love. I have asked him to leave and am accessing counseling, meditating, swimming, etc. I can see that I am a big part of the problem and since I have stopped seeing him, I will probably seek out another unhealthy relationship, unless I take the time to access the tools to heal and love myself. In this context, I can also forgive him and wish him well but I will must never resume this relationship since he has no interest in his own recovery. I remind myself that pain is my addiction and it certainly strengthens my resolve!!
I had a year of relationship like yours... It was very hard for me to understand that words can be so dettached from reality... That a person can be so unstable... In a way, I believe that he loves me when he tells he does... However this love is just something that comes up sometimes.. And next to this he is hating you when he is raging... He shows the least respect when he lies to you... I think the reason why I stayed with him for the whole year and why other women do is that these guys are really honest when say they do love you... And it is too hard to understand that such a real emotion can be so temporary, that it can be followed by such ignorance and rage next to it... And to accept that these are no less real than the love...
OMG! You sound like me
Thank you, this helps a lot!
I just read your post and it sounds like everything I have been feeling and going through lately. It is so depressing and frustrating being with an alcoholic. I'm not sure what to do anymore.
Wow im.goin through this at moment it really helps reading this my boyfriend of year drinks all weekend from the moment he wakes up than to sleep Im getting abusive texts calls from him finally my son had enough of seeing him treating me like this he rang him told him to stay away that his no good for me and the family thats his bringing me down than now im receiving threatening texts from boyfriend his goin to beat up my son my heart is broken in two I really love this man but my kids come 1st but now im frightened incase he comes after my son. Help
What you have written is very similar to my situation. I feel embarrassed & humiliated & why I find it so hard to keep away from him permanently I just don't know. He wears me down every time. We are nothing alike I am successful he is not, he has ruined his life so far & always blames everyone else for his choices/failings/lack of responsibility. If I'd have known the truth I would never have got involved with someone like him he duped me with lies. I fell in love with someone who doesn't exist only to find out the truth over time like a drip drip effect, it has affected me & my life & my health terribly. I feel like I am still mourning & wanting the 'pretend' person I fell for.
why dont you talk to me for a while