I am with an abusive drunk man who has been in rehab twice and only stayed for two weeks and immediately started drinking again. He owns a gun and I fear for my life. We have a child together and he threatens after I say he needs to leave I've had enough, that I am delusional and a fat piece of sh*t like my father. I have been trying to get out for months now and he won't get the clue that I am done with him and want my kids out of that situation. What can I do? Anyone have any advice for me?
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I'm also in a 3 year relationship with my bf, who has to have a beer or some kind of alcohol whenever we eat outside. Some of his friends have high tolerance for alcohol and he thinks his also the same but he's not. I always try to drive him whenever he drinks because he already had a DUI. It frustrates him when he hasn't had a drink for a couple days. He also gets mad at me calls me selfish or a b***h when I don't drive him or his other drunk friends home. One time he got at me because I fell asleep waiting for him n his friends to finish drinking n blamed me y his friend had to walk home. So I offered him that the next time they drink he can let his friend stay over until the next morning n I will drop him off or I can give money so his friend can just take uber whenever they're done drinking but he gets mad at tells me I'm just being a selfish b***h that I only think about myself. I work morning shifts around 7 am (12 hours) and I also go to school in the morning when I'm not working. it's not fair that I have to wait for them to finish drinking because it's not my responsibility or job to drop his friends home. One time he got mad at me n punch me n he said it wasn't that hard but it left me with a big bruise the size of a tennis ball on my hip. If he doesn't do that he would either push me out of the bed n take off my blanket while I'm sleeping n tell me to leave n throw my stuff outside. I know I sound dumb for not leaving this guy but it's hard n I keep coming back to him. He's a nice n sweet guys when he's sober but he changes to a complete person when his drunk. I've tried talking to him about his problem but he just ignores me n tells me he doesn't remember anything or he was sorry n let's not talk about it anymore.
you said it my dear, FANTASY. Dreams of sitting in rocking chairs, getting old together, weeding the garden and making preserves. I also have been in a relationship for over 11 years and I have worried about him hitting rock bottom when in fact, I feel so low that I need to worry about me hitting rock bottom. I have had a great career, raised two amazing, successful kids and now a Grandmother. Sometimes I feel like I am addict, addicted to him. I feel like it will be a long hard road to end all this nonsense, but also believe it will be worth it in time. We only have one life to live and is this how we want to spend it. NO!
Firstly don't even consider marrying this man. You don't deserve to be treated this way, nor do your children need to see this happening to their mother. If you marry him, it will only get worse because once these type of "men" think they have you, they think they own you. Once you get well and out of hospital, pack yourself and your children up and get as far away from this id**t as you can. Go to family or friends, or even to a women's shelter, anywhere where you will be safe and don't let him know where you are. Try and organise to get away while he isn't there, or go to the police so they can accompany to collect your things. While you are in hospital try and talk to a social worker, they will be able to help you sort out accommodation etc. please, you must get away from him, before something really bad happens to you or your children.
I've just come out of a 20 month relationship with a man who drinks - not always to excess - 7 days a week. His whole life is spiralling out of control but to the outsider he's a charmer - always life & soul. He has no real friends other than his bar buddies & his family basically tolerate him. I've helped him financially, emotionally & even supported him whilst he's questioned his own sexuality. In short, I'd have done anything for him. Recently, dates have run late as he's already at another bar when he's supposed to be meeting me. He hides the fact he's gone out mid-week. His moods go from one extreme to the next & because I'm the only one there for him, I get the full brunt. The last straw came at the weekend, when in his drunken haze, he pushed me off a garden chair not once but 3 times - his idea of a joke. When I tried to go indoors out of the way, he accused me of overreacting. We ended up having a blazing row where I'm ashamed to say I pushed him back then poured all the alcohol in the house down the drain. He took the keys to his home off of my key ring & returned mine. I haven't heard from him since & I feel so guilty as I know he has no one else who even half knows the demons he has. I feel such a failure but I honestly couldn't take the split in his personality much longer. He controlled everything, from me waiting sometimes all day for a text (he hated me doing so first) to not knowing when I'd see him next or what mood he'd be in. I'm now left with the feeling he'll do something silly & no one else will know until it's too late.