can't get hard only before sex

Man, I'm 25 and have had this issue for as long as I can remember. I get way too anxious and have tried meditation, not smoking, no caffiene, Viagra (which worked sometimes, but then I would get super flushed and tired, and my now wife was frustrated that we couldn't have sex spontaneously, not to mention the mental grief she shared when her boyfriend at the time couldn't even 'get it up' for her when on Viagra), tried foreplay, no foreplay, herbal medicine.... All nothing. Whenever it gets down to it my head spins. "Am I getting hard? Am I not getting hard like usual? I'm not going to last long. I'm not big enough. Her moans are fake. I'm not good enough. Etc etc etc" I used to shoot heroin and cocaine, and even before that it was not better. Haven't done any drugs or drank in a few years. Try talking to other guys about this and it doesn't help. Try talking to a therapist and she's like oh yeah, I can see why this happens, yet still no solution. Just very frustrating is all.

Ps- works fine if I'm by myself, and even get erections just sitting there not thinking about anything sexual. Have tried no masturbation, and we haven't even had sex in well over a year.

my situation is worse, i'm a 30 yr old virgin (gasp) and just recently i started getting intimate with a girl.. on a side note i'm taking propecia as well (for hairloss)

When we are in bed, making out and fooling around i pop a semi boner, almost full hardon, but when the thought of sex/blowjobs comes up, my penis shrinks down because I think im getting really nervous.  This girl also isn't my gf, we are intimate and close but she's not girlfriend material, she does want to have fun with me, so i figure i should start trying stuff considering my age, but i'm getting scared now because I can't get a full boner and its messing with my brain.. any help???

Aye niqqa haveing problems tooo idk if its my blood or something cus aye n***a is not getting hard I'm only 17 wtf my sh*t post to be sky high but it ain't working

I think you have to try threesome and let someone else have sex with your girlfriend and watch them from the next door then when you get fully erection join them.. and try to get screwed by someone, cuz sometimes you need someone to push you from the back... u might be bottom gay.. try and let me know or we maybe can meet somewhere

Try with hairy guy.. let him screwed you bum and wank whilst he pushing his massive one deep inside your ass.. that will sort out the problem

hey
Do not worry, it is a Psychological problem.. try to meet that girl many time and sleep with her without sex until you break that dam nervous and get to know each other more.. and the best thing is to leave your girlfriend and find for her a black guy from Africa or Jamica.. that will help you a lot not to think about her when you are fooling around with that b***h

Guys! don't worry. if you can't get it hard just ignore it, simply as it is, but don't watch porn and wank! wait few days more and try to have sex in a hotel or in a park or near the sea coast! believe me you will feel the difference. also try to mingle with your partner like do some kissing, licking, make more passion..

If there is no result then better to check your suger blood or blood pressure.. you might have uncontrol blood pressure, or you might have some problem in your Kidney or liver or maybe heart problem.. any ways dont worry you might be not interested on your partner, try another one,, or maybe you are gay !

Hey im 16. I'm laying in my bed right now and right before we were about to do it I noticed I was soft.. She felt if then went into tears, thinking that I don't find her hot or attractive, which isn't true whatsoever .. I love her and she is very attractive.. I just wish and knew that it's our first time and yeah I'm a little nervous ... She's really upset now.

Hi guys im 16 and i only attempted to have sex twice the first time i tried i was nervous because i was still a virgin and the the second time i tried i was drunk and tried to get laid while standing on the street...i get many chances to have sex but i get scared of what might happen..i used to masturbate a lot but recently stopped i really want to have sex guys but this problem seems to scare me off...please help

Hey guys! I seem to have the same problem... I am 17 and when me and my ex done  four play I was hard as anything and It was nice. I would just sit back and relax and enjoy and you just have to keep carm... telling yourself "What if I can't get it hard" Will just get you anxious and nervous. You've got to ignore that fault and know that you will.

ALSO TAKE A BREAK FROM MASTURBATING! When you masturbate too much It's more likely for you to go down. Because It doesn't feel as nice when you do it after yesterday. So stop masturbating for a week and let it settle down and then when you see your girl after that week you'll be HARD FOR SURE! And you won't even be bothered by the thoughts about what If I can't get it up because It will just feel tooo good!

I've recently had a similar problem. I find myself getting half erections all the time doing the slightest things with my girlfriend. However, when it was time for us to have sex, I couldn't get hard for the life of me. I even left, went to the bathroom, and masturbated until I achieved and erection. I then ran to the bedroom and began intercourse, however, not long in, I found my erection getting softer and softer until I was no longer able to penetrate. I know this has something to do with some sort of anxiety, I just want to know a trick to get over it. I know once it finally happens the first time it won't be a problem any longer

Yeah dont worry guys, been there and still am its Sword for me cause im 17 and my girlfriend and i havent had time as of late but we were doing it everyday for nearly 3 weeks straight, i thought it off that i have literally no problems on weekends but weekdays my penis is just that a penis doesnt wanna cooperate anywhoo my first experience lastre give hours and i never orgasmed and with this girl im currently with its only some days Ive been doing research and i think its foreplay or lavo there of i should say but borrón like anybody else out there feel like we are having a similar problem then dont worry it really is most likely performance anxiety for Anyone around our she cause 15-20 is like prime hope yall got something outta this

Honest to goodness its all mental and bro im 17 i havent had quite the Best luck with mine either it only works on select days but im gonna be honest the Worst you can do is agreda sex is about pleasure not about how well you preform if you talk to your wife (if i remember correctly) about it just try and get her to work with you on it then Youll have ir locked in no time the main thing you dont need to do is stress about your size i thought i was Tiny till i actually got laid and everytime since "oh my gosh your so big" im really not hung like an elephant its just a good size i guess and another thing dont stress about anything Best thing to do is to work on relaxing and naturally focus on the pleasure then everything else will follow just remove all doubt brother

U should go to the doctors it might be a medical problem or just your mind but u should still get checked out just in case