cramping, nausea, and more after a miscarriage

You need to talk to your doctor.. I was told it may take up to 6 weeks after a miscarriage to get your period back

My GF miscarried this week...I told her that while I understand what she's going through that it would still be to her benefit to keep her head up and not display bad body language. Maybe both could help ease her stress level...she lashed out at me...i'm disconnected and detached and have no feelings now. So I'm asking the ladies...what to do when your BF/Husband is trying to be supportive and positive and it still doesnt work? Are we to just conform to everything? Hell we hurt too...but supporting you shouldnt mean let you wallow in despair...I thought it meant be uplifting and try to find good in all of this. We are still young and can try again...but I'm not sure I want to. Now it is becoming apparent that she was only looking for a mate to breed with so her family can see her have a child and she wont feel alone. Not necessarily because she's in love and wants a family.

I feel for you and what you're going through...no woman should be subjected to that. But I'm wondering where our sympathy is in all this. It seems as though as long as things are going well and you're upbeat then its "our decision" and "we are in it together"...when things go wrong then its "you're not going through this, I am!" or "since when did you have to carry a child" or "you will never understand, its me going thru this, not you"

Nikki, your husband is abusive and you need to leave him. it will only get worse. wtf. he has no right to treat you that way.

Nikki i'm so sorry for u'r loss.But do u really think u can live the rest of u'r life with thai st***d guy & have a baby with him ? I also went through a miscarriage last year

I am sorry to hear that. I had a misscarriage 4 weeks ago. I have been the worse companion in the world. My husband instead did everything for me and cheered me up and showed me the best of him. Two years ago I had panchreatitis and I couldn't work for months and he did everything. He should not treat you like that. I hope you recover soon.

U know you wrote your question a long time ago but I want you to know in the depths of despair we all play a victim well. .. Men do as well as women. Grieve the loss as if it were a child you held, because she may not have stroked that babies cheek but she held it, nurtured it and lost it. We often feel like failures, even when we know miscarriage isn't often not preventable, we still feel as if we failed our child when we did not bring them alive and healthy into the world. You too should be allowed to grieve. It took me more than a year to fully grieve the loss of my baby with the first miscarriage I had, now I am losing another and the process started almost a week ago but I am numb and listless, I can't honestly say I know when I will hold my head up again. I know I will, but I don't know when. I hope after the time that has already passed that the two of you have worked out how to grieve your loss together. ..and I am sorry you have lost a child, one of life's greatest gifts.

Nikki, I am so very sorry 4 both ur losses, & hope & pray ur not miscarrying again, Im sorry also 4 way u feel & what ur goin thru w?/not only how u feel but what ur man putting u thru, he is bein a selfish jerk & showing no heart or compassion towards what ur goin thru now & what u went thru w/2 losses, he outta any1 n ur life should b standing by ur side & even taking care of u cuz they were his babies as well(im guessing), & way he treating u really shows he doesnt care, plz think hard bout furthering ur future with him, cuz trust me it'll only get worse if u stay w/him, he bein a jerk will c ur putting up wirh way he treats u & think its his free ticket 2 make it worse 4 u & will do so, & if u dnt wanna leave him then make sure he treats u right & respects u, you dnt deserve 2 b treatd like that by any1!!, No-one does...Just plz really think hard bout ur decission & ur future w/him, take it frm some1 who went thru any & every kinda abuse my whole life starting w/my own father @3 to my husband of 16yrs

Girl you have to let him know when your not ok be a big ass baby that makesvhim feel like you need him and when your well if he cant be mature you need to ignore him and that lets him know he cant get your attebtion ...your a queen and you deserve to be treated like nothing less."**

Wow.
I know this is an old post, Im sure you healed by now, but I hope you left that bastard or he wrecked into a tree playing in the snow. SMH

I'm sorry girl but if I had a husband that treated me like that he would not be my husband that is extreme mental abuse you don't need nothing like that and I'm so sorry for your loss the stress alone going through that is it healthy you will be in my prayers

Wow I'm sorry that u let a man treat u like that u should love ur self a little more and get rid of possion like ur husband. Maybe he is the reason why u have a miscarige the stress he causes u. I was 12 weeks my husband has been amazing he's done all the house work all the cooking and has been by my side since we found out the baby no longer had a heart beat on Friday yesterday morning my son came out I was going to have a d&c yesterday around 11:30 but it came naturally at 6:30. It's a very emotional thing to have happen to a women and to be having to put up with a selfish jerk like him is sad. A man only treats u the way u allow him to don't think u have to except that kind of behavior sorry for everyone's loss may god bless us all stay positive women we can over come this but never forgotten .

There's no love in adding to someone's distress. Tell him you need him to be supportive

The problem here is clearly your husband. Talk to your doctor to speak with him if needed. You should wait at least 3 months between miscarriage and trying to get pregnant again. Your body needs rest. Poor thing. Good luck.

Leave the bastard husband . I'm sorry hun but his a as****e . U don't need a loser like him in ur life . U body has been through a lot , u need to rest it out . Pregnancy hormones take a while to get back to 0 . I recently had a miscarrige around 2 and half weeks ago and my body is gone a bit crazy , I starting bleeding again , my stomach feels so bloated and hurts and have been vomiting with a temperature , feels as if im still oregnant . U need to rest and Ur husband is giving u too much stress , which will only make ur health worse . Try to take it easy hun , rest ur body it needs to heal . I wish u the best , hope things change for the better for you .god bless you x
Ash

It's been over a year since you posted about not understanding why your girlfriend lashed out at your attempt to be supportive. I sure hope, since then, you've seen the error in your ways. I applaud you for trying, however. That's more than a lot of women can say.

Sure, finding the silver lining in things is good in certain situations. But, there's no silver lining when a woman loses her pregnancy if she wants to have a baby. Being supportive, in this case, means comforting her, listening to how she feels without judgement, without saying anything that may be heard as condescending. Showing her you're right there with her, feeling exactly how she feels (even if you don't and/or don't fully understand), holding her, etc. That's the understanding she's looking for. Telling her to keep her chin up is basically telling her to stop feeling sad and get over it. That would p*****f any woman. I don't know if you meant it like that or not, it really doesn't matter. What matters is how it made her feel.

You said you're young and can try again, but maybe you're too young and should wait until you understand these things. The one thing that enabled me to be a great wife, when I was completely narcissistic in my twenties, was listening to Dr Laura. Listening to her allowed me to do a lot of self reflection and fully change how I was in relationships. I wish everyone would listen to her and take what she says to heart, I guarantee the divorce rate would go down.

Just my two cents.