If you want more sex, it's up to you. It's either do it with him, or let him do it without you. Which do you prefer?
Yes actually...
The other day actually we had sex which was not super awesome because he will get himself in the mood when he's alone..I don't know if he's watching porn or looking at pictures or just thinking things to himself but I'm not in the same room and I will walk in and he jumps me which kinda puts me off a little because I feel like it has nothing to do with me that he's all ready to go. **Insert from moderator: Yes, this can be VERY annoying. People take note.**
But anyway.. we had sex and a few hours later we went to bed and he was moaning and touching himself so I started touching him and went for sex thinking I would try to make this situation a positive one for both of us, well after we finished having sex he went to sleep and immediately started moaning and touching himself again. I actually get in trouble sometimes for touching him when he's sleeping because he needs his sleep and me touching him while he's sleeping wakes him up and then he's tired the next day. I don't get it.
Yes, this sounds more and more like a sleep disorder, when he's moaning and touching himself, and less like intentional masturbation.
I think a sleep counselor might be in order.
That may be a possible explanation for the sleep issue with moaning and touching but the issue still stands that he told me the other day its probably happening because he isn't getting any time alone to take care of himself alone. Which is frustrating because he said he was doing it every few days and when he first told me that he did he said it was once a week now that he had a girlfriend...then it became more often. We only have sex once a week if I'm lucky and usually thats from me starting things. If he's wanting to jerk off multiple times a week but never initiates sex with me..isn't that something to be concerned about? Because it sure is making me feel shitty. I get tired of masturbating during the week and I really just enjoy being physical with my boyfriend. I don't know if I'm just being a "typical girl" and over-reacting because this is normal behavior or if it's really an issue.
Also... when we are together I have to initiate with something more than just making out or touching him...when we first started sleeping together that wasn't the case. I know it is supposed to be less often after awhile but it's only been a year and it started happening months ago. It makes me feel like being with me isn't enjoyable enough that he would (it seems) rather jerk off because it's more exciting than sleep with his girlfriend. Most guys I know have ended up jerking off multiple times a week because their girlfriends wouldn't have sex with them, not when their girlfriend is craving MORE sex than she is getting. I try not to complain about the lack of sex or get after him for masturbating but this is eating away at me inside. I keep thinking, I know plenty of guys who will sleep with me if he doesn't want to anymore... but that's not going to solve anything. I'd rather be with him, but I want to feel like he's as into it as I am. Not feeling like I'm bothering him because I want to have sex AGAIN..
If you are concerned about it, then it is an issue.
I think you have expressed yourself and your feelings about it quite clearly in the second half of your last posting.
Perhaps your boyfriend needs to hear this.
I can't defend your bf's practices, nor answer for him. But I suspect that part of what he feels is the simplicity and directness of giving himself a release through masturbation... that it is more intense and that the feedback loop between his touch and his sensation is much faster and more efficient than sex with another. (I know that's not easy to hear, nor what you want, but it may be true.) Perhaps he can learn to share more, or will see how this is painful for you. Perhaps he wont. But he needs to know what you are feeling, and be given the opportunity to grow and change.
We all do.
Thank you for your feedback. It is helpful to hear. I have been through some really tough issues with men in the past that have caused me to think that it's pretty much all going to end with me being betrayed so it's nice to get a response that doesn't say that's what is happening. I am going to try to think of a way to bring it up to him in the next week or so, but I fear that bringing it up to him and pointing it out and making it a bigger deal will just make it worse. We have had the issue before of me mentioning something that isn't a very big deal at all just to see if it can be fixed since it is so small and it becomes a huge thing that only seems to get worse because of how it is approached.
I am going to work on writing out how I feel and what is going on and see if it helps me find some more clarity where I might be alright with things, or maybe find a way of approaching it where it won't be an attack or anything. I get that guys have to have their own time to do those things just like we all need time away from our partners to be social with other people, so I don't want it to turn into a fight over giving each other space. Unfortunately I can't get a concrete answer from anyone else and it's going to have to come from him, I just always wonder if he is really giving me the truth or if he is keeping things from me because he doesn't think I will want to hear it. That has happened before as well.
Anyway..thank you!
Divorced, healthy and fit and 64. Not in a relationship @ this time. I enjoy jacking off to porn.
dont listen to this guy he whaked off so much his wife probly divorced to a found a real man
if men still masterbate after marriage why get married you could have a great life with your penis instead of making us feel like we cant f**k yhe hell out of you men masterbate from age 12
no women will ssay with you forever then you ll be standing their watch us leave
maybe you have to leave your partner or husband for them to know your value
omen will just find a man who has goals in life and is dedicated to a better life who dont masterbate give it a break
arnt you tired yet lol..........