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my husband hand psychotic disorders and actually before i did worst things for him and make him more complicated cause of my jealousy. but know i know that no need to be jealous and its not necessary. thats why i want to make it right and i want to help him. but he always bring up our past and start thinking negative and also he had a big doubt on me now like he think that i can do it again the betrayal on him cause he think I'm capable on it. what will i do so that to feel the assurance that i will not do it again. is it right that we still continue our relationship? or it will make him better if the person next on him is not part of his past or a good person also. please I'm begging i need your advice. thanks :'( %-)

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This is something that the both of you will have to slowly work out.
My daughter and her husband are going thru the same thing. He was in the military and did 2 tours in Iraq. While he was away, he had a few extra marital flings.
These women bragged on his "my space", which my daughter eventually saw.
After his tour, he was stationed in Texas for the remainder of his time. Again, he did the same thing. Only this time my daughter went to Texas to visit him for a few weeks. She found so much evidence that he was and still was cheating on her.
During her stay, she got pregnant with my beautiful grandson.
She came home, and they fought every day via the telephone.
He was discharged and returned home when she was 6 months along.
To this day, the suspicion is hugh. Every time he steps out the door she freaks.
To make matters worse, when she is at work on the weekends, he searches out old flames on the internet and goes to girl's my spaces that he knows. (i hate my space) insisting that he does not talk to them, he just looks.
He has moved out of the apartment a few times, but was back within a few days.
This is on going. He will call complaining to me, she will call with the same complaints. I just listen now because i am tired of hearing about it all the time.
The only advice i can give you is to just behave yourself and try your best to put him in a comfortable place.
You don't have to go over board with the kissy kissy mmchie moochie stuff, just be the person he married.
Once that vow is broken, it takes a long time to recover. But, if it is an endless battle of apologies and sadness, maybe a seperation will help.
Have you tried some counseling?
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bbfeet is correct, this kind of thing takes time, commitment and effort. At bare minimum, you definitely need some marital counseling, and I think some individual therapy for each of you would help immensely.

You say your husband has had "psychotic" disorders? Do you just mean psychiatric, or actually psychotic (like bipolar, schizophrenia, etc)?? Psychotic episodes are very serious business and don't go away without serious treatment.

I think you should talk to a therapist or psychiatrist about your problems, and they can help you get he appropriate couples and individual therapy. If you need to find one, you could get a referral from your medical doctor. It's hard, and sometimes painful or embarrassing, but if you can find the right therapist and be completely honest, you will be able to change alot of the negative patterns in your life and relationship.
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Hi worried wife,

I agree with the post made by Disco Albino. Psychotic episodes are very serious, so it is important he gets assistance with that. It is my suggestion that you speak with your doctor and let him know exactly what is going on. From there, your doctor can make a referral to an appropriate mental health service to assist your husband. I believe that you would also benefit from some form of relationship counseling or therapy; however, I would speak to your doctor before you seek that.

Take care,
Cassie
Happy Life Space
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