emotions after my abortion

i had an abortion about year ago i was ok at first i felt relieved i had two children already and had split up from my bf so i thought i made the best choice but about two months ago i started to feel really upset crying all the time so i decided to for counselling .personally i feel i made the wrong choice the pain i feel for killing my baby will stay with me forever i cant change things but im trying to come to terms with it for my own sake and my childrens

It will be a year since my abortion. I had it done on the 19th of december 2008. After talked myself that it was the right choice for me to do because of my relationship status with my bf. I can say after the procedure I felt like a lot of weight of my shoulders like I was "saved by the bell". I was 24 at the time. I am now 25 and this past few days is when I first found out by taking seriously I think I took 6 test before I actually believed I was actually pregnant. My bf became very distant to me when I told him that I was. so a few days later i decided to go to the hospital. But i was actually experiencing a lot of pain because the hormones that I started to get from being pregnant caused a few cycis to grow on my overies to be pressing a lot of pain on my uterius and my back. I kinda at that point took the abortion as a medical procedure that would make that unbarrable pain in my lower stomach go away.
I was fine mentally and physically after the procedure. until now. for the past few months I have been really depressed. I thought it was the change in weather since i am in canada we have a bunch of snow now and its pretty cold out and no sunshine at the moment. But I feel like i lost something and I think about it for no reason at all the guilt i have now is killing me. I see babies and with out thinking about it i mentally think about what my child would have looked like. if it was a boy or a girl. I think I am ready to have a child now and get pregnant and not be overwhelmed.
BUT the ruf patch i was talking about with my bf is that he has a one year old son with another woman at this point in life now. And im mad that we decided to work through it and be together. I love him a lot but his actions caused me to get rid of my child and i hate him for it. and it like the child he had with her was more important then having one with me like im not good enough to have a child with and i just want to scream and c ry. many its just the hormones cause they lightly stay with you for the first year after the abortion. and if i would have kept it i probably just would have had the baby.

I had one 6 years ago, and I think about it all the time.

I had one last week and if im being honest ive never been happier!
obviously it was a horrendous experience and i didnt particularly want to go through with it but my boyfriend has been absolutely amazing and we both know that it would have been unfair to bring a child into the world when we wouldnt have been able to provide for it as much as we shoudl be able to!
its not a nice thing to go through at all but once its over you can focus on the future and look forward to having a child when your well and truly ready

dear same 17, it will be all right yes you made a mistake but im sure you wouldn't make a terrible mistake like that again and like you said your mother is waiting on you to screw up again just prove her wrong this time.

I am the same as you, i had an abortion at 18 only a week ago. I know it was the right decision to make, but i feel horrible about it. I wish i could have given the baby to someone who couldn't have children, as i feel so horrible about getting rid of it because i 'didn't want it'.. looking back at it now sometimes i wish i'd kept it, it was a part of me and i loved it. Its sad to think of where it goes once had the abortion too.. I've been constantly crying and upset, i saw a newborn baby a couple of days ago and completely broke down. It so hard that i've started cutting to try and help with the pain.. i know this is stupid, but i did it a couple of years ago because of a hard family life, and now i've started again.. my boyfriend wants me to see a counselor but i really dont want to talk to someone about it. I just wish it never happened and i wasn't so stupid!! 

i know how you're feeling, and i wish i could take away the pain, just like i would for myself. But i think the best thing to do now is to just cry and let it out, speak to someone you're close to, let them help you and tell you its okay! 

I had one yesterday and the heart break I am currently feeling is just horrendous. I wake up crying and my boyfriends fast asleep, so I can't wake him up. It's just so horrible and a heart breaking experience to have to go through. 18 year old girl. x

Hi there! Iam 26 years old with a 3 years old son. I just had abortion week ago & it was worst thing had to do in my life. I through giving birth was hard thing I've had to do! I had have abortion as my circumstances was not good for having new born baby as living bk with my parents as due break up with son father so left me single mother. Iam so sad about having to have abortion at 17 weeks & wanted have baby & regret it but I think was best thing to do. Iam finding hard to cope as crying alot time & stop thinking what I have done. If anyone has any advice for me could u help me! Thanks. kay