Okay before I get started I wanted to tell you my back story.I'm telling you it is long right now....haha
Soo I'm a 13 year old girl! I am popular, active,and have a bunch of friends! I am in honors and I have MANY awards and signed year books.Loved and cared for, but somehow I feel like my life is a lie. I hate myself because I wear makeup to cover up my insecurities and I feel uncomfortable in THE FASHIONABLE clothes I wear. Everyone comments on how I am SOO happy and bubbly..I HATE that I have to pretend I am perfect, all the time, even if front of family.....I can't ever show my true feelings.
My parents are business people. MONEY, and travel. That is all are relationship is. They give me money and then go to a different state to work It kills me not being able to hug or tell them I love them! ( I'm crying right now)
I'm not even emo and I feel like such a goth right now! ( no affense to people like that) its just I love PINK and everything girly, but right now I just want to...I want to walk away. Not COMMIT suicide or anything because people who do that are weak( I can't die like that.) I wish I could just disseaper from my life for 10 minutes! Only ten...I would be SOOO relaxed and happy. Then come back , without anyone knowing. Then act normal..
I sound soooo Depressed , but I DON'T WANT TO BE! I am always the one helping people and making them happy, but I don't want to be prescribed for a conditon I DON'T believe in! I can't tell anyone about this. It sucks.
If any one could give me any advice or stories or ANYTHING! I would be happy....I don't know why I wrote this really...I just wanted to cry and let it all out.. I am strong enough to take opinions soo just love me or leave me.
Thanks for reading!
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Just kidding.
I too am known for acting animated, though I really am very introverted and solemn. I honestly do not enjoy high school and believe Ill be happier when I'm out. But given that I still have two more years of this c**p, I find sanction and sanity in friends and relationships and love! ... Even though I am usually not loved back. I suggest that you just realize that God still uses this for your benefit and your ultimate happiness:)
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