Hello,
Over the past three weeks, I have been going through personal hell. Ive cried, hid away from my family, and live in fear. I had a sexual thought of someone I really dislike, and someone I'm not attracted to in any way. She used to be my friend but my gut told me to stay away from her. Not because she was bisexual but because she would cause trouble. Now the disturbing sexual thought made me question if I was a lesbian. I was and still am afraid of being around or looking at girls and I want to hide away. I dont want to become a lesbian, I'd prefer to be with men. But the thought of her kept coming and disturbing me so much and I was afraid to like any guy because I was afraid she would take me away from them. She does not make me happy at all. I have this unusal feeling of her lips on mine and my lips tremble but i dont find this comfortable at all and it repulses me. im afraid its my fate to be with her and something will make me attracted to her, and im crying and i dont want to be with her and the only way i can figure this out is if i kiss her even though it disgusts me and my gut tells me no. what do i do?