Hi, I just found this forum tonight and decided to ask a question because tonight I am feeling particularly insecure ---
Here's the situation:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple years and while we used to have sex every week, it has slowed down to maybe once a month. So tonight was our 'anniversary' and since we've both been in the mood lately, we were both really looking forward to being together tonight.
The problem is, after foreplay and all, we had sex for maybe 2 minutes and he lost his erection -- not a new thing, he seems to lose his erection during intercourse a lot -- Normally, he can get it back and continue, but tonight, no matter how hard we tried, nothing happened. :-(
He hadn't jerked off in a few nights and was having a pain in his testicles I guess. We assumed it was "blue balls" -- So after I left for the night, he watches his porn and masturbates. Of course he has no problems there....
He tells me he's been doing the porn/masturbation thing for years, but to me, it seems like only recently he's been doing it... maybe just doing it more frequently. I'm beginning to feel like I can't compete with the porno girls and maybe he isn't attracted to me anymore.. that it's my fault because I'm not good.
I don't know what to do. I feel really bad about myself. Of course, yeah, I'm overweight so of course I feel ugly. But mostly I feel hurt because he jerks off to his porno nearly everyday, but not with me. He says he doesn't look at the girls, only the "penetration" but it's so hard to believe that. Lately this porno issue has become a big deal between us. Even tonight I suggested he watch some porn to get an erection again, but he didn't want to watch it with me.... I feel "left out" if that makes sense...
We were both virgins before we met and we've only been with each other. We haven't had the best relationship, having quite a bit of ups and downs, although lately I thought it was going pretty good. ---- Maybe I was wrong.....
I don't know what kind of response I'm expecting from this... I really just wanted to share my story .. maybe someone has some insight.
Here's the situation:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a couple years and while we used to have sex every week, it has slowed down to maybe once a month. So tonight was our 'anniversary' and since we've both been in the mood lately, we were both really looking forward to being together tonight.
The problem is, after foreplay and all, we had sex for maybe 2 minutes and he lost his erection -- not a new thing, he seems to lose his erection during intercourse a lot -- Normally, he can get it back and continue, but tonight, no matter how hard we tried, nothing happened. :-(
He hadn't jerked off in a few nights and was having a pain in his testicles I guess. We assumed it was "blue balls" -- So after I left for the night, he watches his porn and masturbates. Of course he has no problems there....
He tells me he's been doing the porn/masturbation thing for years, but to me, it seems like only recently he's been doing it... maybe just doing it more frequently. I'm beginning to feel like I can't compete with the porno girls and maybe he isn't attracted to me anymore.. that it's my fault because I'm not good.
I don't know what to do. I feel really bad about myself. Of course, yeah, I'm overweight so of course I feel ugly. But mostly I feel hurt because he jerks off to his porno nearly everyday, but not with me. He says he doesn't look at the girls, only the "penetration" but it's so hard to believe that. Lately this porno issue has become a big deal between us. Even tonight I suggested he watch some porn to get an erection again, but he didn't want to watch it with me.... I feel "left out" if that makes sense...
We were both virgins before we met and we've only been with each other. We haven't had the best relationship, having quite a bit of ups and downs, although lately I thought it was going pretty good. ---- Maybe I was wrong.....
I don't know what kind of response I'm expecting from this... I really just wanted to share my story .. maybe someone has some insight.
It's not you. Your boyfriend is just addicted to porn. Many men have this problem and they cant have physical relationships cause the only thing that gets them off is watching porn. You should try to talk to him and maybe get him some help as it can become a serious problem the longer it goes on possibly affecting his social life and work (and already his relationship with you). The addiction can be triggered by stress or self doubt or a variety of other reasons. Has he been going through anything recently?
This gets me thinking. I don't know what your sex life is like BUT maybe you could try spicing it up in the bedroom..? Try new positions, new fetishes, new outfits/lingerie? There's all sorts of new and different things you can try. Whether you've done any of this before or not I hope this helps or at least sparks a few ideas! After all I'm only a 17yr old female trying to help people out (:
~Allora
~Allora