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" I honestly don't know how my boyfriend has lived with me for the last 16 days (it feels like years) If I'm not crying my eyes out, I'm being mean. I hate myself so much right now. Remember, he WILL get through this, but he may say & do things he does'nt really mean. I know it's hard to understand, but your brain gets completely fried when you do this, unless he's a short term or not so hardcore user, of course."

Wow...that hits so close to home. I am horrible to be around when going through withdrawal. I say such mean and malicious things. I don't know how my bf puts up with it. I guess it's because he's been there before. Once I finally got past the initial few days of withdrawal, I noticed that I was crying uncontrollably as well. I never really figured it was due to that. I figured it was just something inside me, but seeing what you wrote there made me realize it's not just me. I've felt so hopeless and like there isn't any point to anything which bugged the hell out of me. I kept thinking, when do I feel better? I thought once this stuff was out of my system I'd feel better and start to feel normal again, whatever that is.

I managed to be clean for a total of 8 days. I still had one last refill on my tabs, so there just wasn't any way for me to give that up. If I don't have access, I can stay clean, but if I have a script waiting in the pharmacy or pills in the house, I'm going to take them. So...once these are gone, I'll have to go through it all again. Hopefully, that'll be the very last time then because I won't have the means to get anymore. That's the only way I can do it. Not having access.

Anyway, in terms of the restless leg(s), most Rx sleeping pills or anti-anxiety meds will help i.e. Restoril, Valium, Klonopin, Halcion, etc. However, those are addictive as well so be careful if you get your hands on some. Neurontin is a non-narcotic pain reliever that will also help with the leg condition. Brand name Gabapentin. If you've no access to getting any of that stuff, I'd recommend taking iron supplements as well as some potassium. Hope that helps.
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Thanks, hun. I think you're the only person who has directly responded to me! My boyfriend is on methadone too, so he knows I don't mean it, I hope. Last night my legs started up again, so I got up, took a few extra kolonopins, WAY too much advil PM & smoked out for a couple hours. It worked wonders! Advice for anyone else doing this... I've found that I need to start taking sleeping pills or advil PM, prefferably, because of the pain, about 4 or 5 hours before bed. Like 2 an hour. This might sound awful, but the more benzos, sleeping pills & pot you can get in your system the better. I slept for four hours last night & feel somewhat normal, but weak, this morning. 17 days. 15 years of methadone & 17 days later I think I'm going to be okay. I lost way too much weight, tho, so thats another issue to tackle. There IS hope. It might take a bit longer than 17 days...I have a super fast metabolism. I've been on kolonopin for 3 or 4 or 5 years...I don't really remember, but the clinic never found benzos in my urine, so I guess that says something.
Other than the above advice, I'll tell you what an old friend of mine said to me the other day. The longer you're there, the older you get, the harder it is. I beg you to stay the course. Every passing hour is a victory..... best of luck to all of you. This is the worst thing I've ever been through, but In a week or two, I'm gonna walk into the clinic with my boyfriend and scream at the top of my lungs "I'M FREE YOU ASSHATS!!!" And it will be good. Best of luck, xombii. I'll be checking back regularly. If there's ANYTHING thats bothering you, say so. Maybe I'll be on the other side & able to help. I've learned a lot this month, the super hard way. Oh...the uncontrollable crying... keep yourself distracted. You'll feel really weak & dizzy, so, sitting on the computer talking on FB & watching every single Jenna Marbles video helped with that. Also, upbeat music. I've always been into skinny puppy & Nirvana (DON'T LISTEN TO NIRVANA...it was painful for me)
I switched to lady gaga. I don't cry when gaga's playing...especially Schei?e. More than one connection to kicking methadone in that song...in an uplifting kinda way...
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If your still around. One of the best articles I have read! Thanks
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ur gonna go threw hell
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ur gonna go threw hell u aint no different
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Hell is a place where people go that don't know Christ Jesus. Does not compare to withdrawal. If you need some help ask for it. Whining on a board don't do anyone any good; including yourself. A lot of people suffer for many things. There are many more benefits to getting off, then staying on (unless you are on pain meds for server pain). Nobody said it would be easy. You want some help, just ask. Joshua
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No... he's right. It is hell. He was a jerk about it, but this is hell... but I suppose I'm not a jesus kinda person. Only the strongest will make it. However, Xombie, You'll be okay. Just make sure you have a strong support system (all of my friends completely ditched out once this started...you may want to consider not being honest with people as I wish I would've done) One thing I've found that helps with the restless legs is a hotpack. Once I started sleeping with one wrapped around my legs, I stopped kicking my BF all night. Also, mix benzos. Kolonopins don't help much on their own, but mixed with xanax & sleeping pills, you'll probably be able to sleep, just be careful, don't take too many. Also try googling methadone withdrawls & nutritional therapy & get a juicer if you can't eat. Good luck to you, and try to ignore our lovely "guest" and his supurb grammar and attitude.Oh..& Joshua, we all want help. If you have anything to share, please do!!
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not sure (babe) if you mentioned how many years you were sporting your doc? Just wondering. Joshie
PS I am on day 21 and still feel weird.
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15 years, Josh. I've never known anyone thats been on the clinic that long & made it. You?? My last dose of 5 mgs was on 3-11...but, I kinda messed up and drank some of a stash I had 2 weeks later because I wanted to go out. I crashed hard after doing that. Soo... I guess I'm on day 40, not counting that one night, and I feel much worse than weird, but it's like I'm getting used to it. Is there anything your doing to make yourself feel better? There's very little info online about this & as you can see benzos is really the only thing I've figured out that helps. This sucks & I'm regretting leaving the clinic, but I've gone too far to go back now. Lame.
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Tramadol withdrawals aren't c**p, been there done that... Methadone, oxy, lortab, vicoden, on and on and on that "pain" management doctors give out like skittles... that is a different story, want to think death would be better? then get hooked on any of the above....
always remember... YOU are ultimately responsible for your medical treatment.... am I in pain, you bet your ass I am... there are days I don't think I can get out of bed... will I ever allow another physician to "legally" get me addicted? HELL NO... and you shouldn't either....
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15 Years is a long time. I thought 8 years were long! 40 day and much worse then weird; sorry to hear that. I had my first so-so day yesterday, but I did too much (a 2 hour mountain bike ride). Today I am paying for it mentally. I walk every day, I have to push myself; hard! I keep hearing that Methadone takes 2 month or so. What are your thoughts on that? I don’t think it’s much different for me on oxie’s! I am at 23 some days and I feel about the same as I did when I left rehab. Except for yesterday. Depression is the first thing I am dealing with and next anxiety. Then muscle pain and my original neck pain; the reason I got on them in the first place. Babe, what are the hardest things you are dealing with at this point? Josh

PS cant really do benzo's, as my Dr gave them to me for 15 years....:(
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I totally agree! Wish I could do it all over....:(
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Wow, Josh. You're having a much different experience than I'm having. I'm amazed your able to go on two hour bike rides and stuff. I have barely been able to move this whole time. I dropped from 97 lbs to 88 lbs within 10 days of leaving the clinic. I'm really weak and dizzy and I just can't think right. My motor skills are all messed up. I can't do anything that requires coordination. I'm FREEZING but constantly sweating. I'm bored and feel isolated. I'm really depressed. I guess those are the hardest things I'm dealing with right now. Perhaps thats the difference between 15 & 8 years? I'm only 33, BTW. I guess that makes me an almost lifetime user, I had a several year long heroin habit before the methadone.
As far as 2 months go, I've heard 2-3 months, sometimes over a year. But 2 or 3 is what I've been hearing the most. That sucks that you can't take benzos. Are you sleeping? How are you dealing with all this??
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Hey, Baby: The bike ride took everything I had. And the daily walks are the same. I haven't lost any weight. I am also still very weak, I lost the dizziness a few days ago; with a small bit today. My apartment is at 85 degrees most of the day (I am cold blooded, as it is (and I do still sweat, just not as bad. Up until today my feet where sweating like crazy; strange). At night I have been blessed to sleep about 4 to 5 hours. I think the valium has something to do with that (oh, I still take them, but I have been taking them for so long, they do very little.10mgs a day for 15 years (I pumped it up here and there to 20mgs)....more of a maintenance drug)? "I am bored and feel isolated"; this is me also! While I do walk 45 min a day, the rest of my day consists of wanting for night to come so I can get thought this! I also don't feel like going out and don't feel like talking to people.....:(..... I am 56 yo......How am I dealing with this? Second by second. I do all the vitamins that I have heard to ease some of the symptoms. Other then that I just pray a lot. The walks do help, but take ALL of my thought pattern to get up and do it. I usually have to do deep breathing during most of my walk. I live in Michigan and the weather is just starting to break. You would get a good laugh if you saw me walking because its 60 and I am wearing three layers of cloths. I feel like a goof, but it’s the only way.....Keep up the good work, its so worth it; at least that’s what they say! I believe its true. I don’t what to go back to the pill cutting and the ritual of having to be a slave to this c**p! Your friend, Joshua
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Hi all, really tough writing this, but I guess since it is on the internet it is all anonymous  %-)
Will ask forgiveness for the long post now :-( as I am in the WD grip as I write this....

I have EDS, have had quite a few surgeries over the past 10 years trying to repair torn ligaments, collapsed disc, etc.. and have several disc that are collasped but the location they are in,(directly behind my heart) makes them inoperable, so needless to say I have been on a steady diet of pain meds for the last 4 years or so. I have been thru WD from the Hydrocodone a couple of times, NOT fun, but you can get thru it.
Prepare yourself, is my best advice. Plan for it, set up a private space, plan to miss work, make what ever excuse you need to, to let people know to not bother you for the next week or so (depends on the severity of your addiction)

1.) Taper off.
2.) Have friends or family or anyone that can help you through it.
3.) Fruits, bananas apples, etc.
4.) Plenty of water, fruit juices etc. handy.
5.) A place where you can deal with this, without distractions. Plenty of soothing music, books, movies, anything to try and occupy your mind and distract you from the cravings.
6.) The cough medicine can help, the runny nose and watery eyes etc. can be mitigated with some over the counter stuff, Advil, Tylenol, etc. The idea here is to have it readily available when you need it and not have to stress out on trying to go out and get it.
7.) Sleep, something for sleep. Ambien if you can get it, OC stuff, or natural herbs if not. Anything to help you sleep. The more sleep you can get, the less painful this will be.
7.) Kratom. This is the first time I have tried this and can say it softens a LOT of the symptoms, but I will caution to not use this as a substitute for a high, this is strictly to help with the WD.
8.) Know that it does end. The first 24-48 hours are the hardest, but it does stop, and you can beat it.


I try to be careful with my dosage, as I went in to this pain management plan with my eyes open, I recently lost my older brother to drug addiction (heroin) and my mother to alcohol/cancer. So I know there is an issue with addiction in my family. 

I lost my job last year, due to lay offs, not my addiction :) , and had to relocate to the Atlanta area for work. I found a pain clinic nearby and started to transfer over. Well, that was a HUGE mistake, the place I ended up in was a pill mill, they did not even take insurance! Since I was pretty much running out of my meds I went ahead and saw the "doctor" AKA pusher. He expressed concern that my usage was going up on the Lortab and suggested Oxycontin with separate prescription of Oxycodone in smaller dosages between the Oxy.
Well, I filled the Oxycodone and refused the Oxycontin, he substituted 8mg Dilaudid.
One month of the Codone and then another month of the Dilaudid.
I did not think the Dilaudid would hook me as fast as it did.
I ran out 2 days ago and did not think the WD I would have would be bad, but boy was I wrong. I have been thru hell for 2 days now. Recognizing the symptoms, I knew what I was in store for, but the Dilaudid WD are far stronger than I thought they would be.
I am using the above plan right now to try and get thru this...as I will never go back to that place/doctor again, places like that do not help anyone, they are no better than drug pushers.

Folks, hang in there, you can beat this.
Talk to your doctors if you need help stopping. A personal believe is to not substitute one drug for another, but the doctors can help with the side effects of the WD, get something for sleep, something for anxiety, but nothing else.

Sending you all some Strength, Love, and Peace! <3



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