Hey everyone
I've been talking to a few close friends about this, but I'd still like a few more opinions. I met up with a guy the other night that I've known since last summer. We aren't close or anything...went on a date or two...used to chat on the phone a good bit. Still, this year, I'm not nearly as interested in him, but somehow he still got an invite to my place. Anyway, after talking for an hour or so we went into the room and he started coming on to me. I honestly would have been fine not doing anything that night, but I guess I just kind of thought "What the hell, why not?" The thing is I KNEW I did not want to have sex with him. Refused to do that because this dude has been with his fair share of girls and I knew we didn't care about each other like that. When I have sex with a man, it's because I genuinely care about him...that's not something I engage in easily. Still I was aroused and it seemed like we were doing everything but intercourse. We were completely undressed and I let him kind of play around the opening of my vagina. He was poking it consistently lets just say that and more than anything it was a tease. I would kind of play with him and grind on him just enough, so he was always outside of me. At one point he was getting a little too into it and poked me a bit harder. I jumped away from him though because I swear I was turned on but I wouldn't be okay with this man being my fourth. So my question is this: I don't need to count that right? Three men have actually been inside me (my first only got the tip in but I do count that) and I kind of want it to stay that way until marriage. I asked this guy if he did get the tip in and he said it didn't happen, even though he wanted it to. So, that's another thing that makes me think I'm over-thinking it. It's just that all the guys I've been with, I loved. This last one I DID NOT. I know it wasn't smart even playing around like that but whats done is done. I just want to know that it makes sense to discount it.
Wow, thank you. That's an awesome response, and I definitely have just become that much wiser...so many good points that will def stick with me...have a great day :)
I agree with Sally completely.
I never felt it was any of my business who the girl I was dating had dated before or how many guys she dated, she was new to me. I certainly did not expect her be a virgin either.
We had been married for about 20 years when my wife told me she had been raped by an uncle when she was a teen. He left the country to escape punishment. She was afraid to tell me about it because she was afraid I would leave her. We've been married 47 years now so obviously that fear was ungrounded. It didn't change the way I feel about her at all but I do feel bad for her that it happened.
You are very much overthinking this.
If you let a man finger you, go down on you etc. or if you masturbate him or suck his penis then those things amount to 'having sex' even if you refused to actually copulate or allow his penis (or the tip or whatever) inside you.
By teasing men in the way you are doing then you are putting yourself in grave danger that the next man will decide he won't take no for an answer and simply rape you!