Wow, after reading all these posting it's reassuring that I am not the only one that is going through this. I am in love with my fiancé and I don't want to leave him. There is a 17 years age gap between us and at times I do wonder if this is what I want in life. He has been giving excuses one after another as to why he has to drink. "Stressed out, to getting it out of his system... he's not hurting anyone...” Little does he know that he is hurting someone... ME. He breaks promises, tells lies, say awful things etc... When he is sober, he denies ever saying it. Every time he drinks, we get into arguments and I end up crying my eyes out. I try to tell myself that it isn’t him saying those things to me but it’s tough when you hear it coming from the one you love unconditionally.
He is an amazing man, one with a serious problem. His mother and sister are both alcoholics so I know it’s a disease that is hereditary. I will try to be there for him yet, I don’t know how long I could stay strong. I just need some guidance on how to deal with this battle.
He is an amazing man, one with a serious problem. His mother and sister are both alcoholics so I know it’s a disease that is hereditary. I will try to be there for him yet, I don’t know how long I could stay strong. I just need some guidance on how to deal with this battle.
I don't know how I should feel right now. Reading so much of your gals responses and realized there are way more alcoholic out there than I thought. My husband (common law partner, boyfriend, whatever, we have been living together for 8 years now so don't tell me he is not my husband because of a freaking piece of paper), finally admitted that he is an alcoholic and went for detox. His whole family drinks, there is not one time I have seen his father not drunk. In fact, his whole family drink and smoke, including mom and dad, all the brothers, and even uncles. I don't drink nor smoke, so in a million years I wouldn't even think I would ended up with an alcoholic.
Anyway, I snaped. I finally snaped at him, we had a very big fight. I have tried to put him to school, he always got sick, didn't feel like going to school so he quit before the first semaster is finished. I guess for the eight years I didn't really snap because my previous job requires a lot of travel. So I pretty much only come back for the weekend, and didn't really know what happen during the week. Until he got sick and quit his job, since then for 3 years now he hasn't been working. I work really hard for the money, and I got fed up with spending over $900 a month for smoke and drinks, and someone who is always sleeping, so house work is not done, nothing get done around the house if only he didn't even mess it up more. I hate my job, I hate what I do and the people I work with, so I decided to start my own business. Good thing is that I am getting business, bad thing my to do list is piling up to heaven I cannot possibly handle so much with a man who I need to take care of, but he doesn't nothing, and gave me attitude. He gives everyone attitude when he is drank, he throw stuff and yell at the dog. He has never beaten me, because if he did that, that will be it.
The pressure not only comes from how to deal with work, home, money and an alcoholic. I have enough of people telling me to leave him before even my friends and family know he has drinking problem. They still don't know. Just because he doesn't have as much education as I do, doesn't earn as much as I do, doesn't mean he is not a good man. Anyway, it is very easy to say "leave him" when there are emotional bonding and all the time shares between the two of us. Relationship doesn't just happen overnight, and you cannot just leave.
I am tired.
Anyway, I snaped. I finally snaped at him, we had a very big fight. I have tried to put him to school, he always got sick, didn't feel like going to school so he quit before the first semaster is finished. I guess for the eight years I didn't really snap because my previous job requires a lot of travel. So I pretty much only come back for the weekend, and didn't really know what happen during the week. Until he got sick and quit his job, since then for 3 years now he hasn't been working. I work really hard for the money, and I got fed up with spending over $900 a month for smoke and drinks, and someone who is always sleeping, so house work is not done, nothing get done around the house if only he didn't even mess it up more. I hate my job, I hate what I do and the people I work with, so I decided to start my own business. Good thing is that I am getting business, bad thing my to do list is piling up to heaven I cannot possibly handle so much with a man who I need to take care of, but he doesn't nothing, and gave me attitude. He gives everyone attitude when he is drank, he throw stuff and yell at the dog. He has never beaten me, because if he did that, that will be it.
The pressure not only comes from how to deal with work, home, money and an alcoholic. I have enough of people telling me to leave him before even my friends and family know he has drinking problem. They still don't know. Just because he doesn't have as much education as I do, doesn't earn as much as I do, doesn't mean he is not a good man. Anyway, it is very easy to say "leave him" when there are emotional bonding and all the time shares between the two of us. Relationship doesn't just happen overnight, and you cannot just leave.
I am tired.
MY CATS ARE MY CHILDREN :( THAT IS SO HORRIBLE AND IT SCARES ME TO DEATH B/C I AM NEWLY MARRIED TO AN ALCOHOLIC.
I am eight months pregnant and have 3 children, i have an alcoholic husband. Its been since september of last years since his alcohol has gotten worst to the point that he would leave from the house to go to work on a friday and after work go to friends house and get drunk until he passes out and sometimes i dont hear from him for a few days. It has become an every weekend thing now. He spends all his money and when he comes home after after a few days he continues to drink to feel better or get the hangover over with but he ends up getting drunk again. He starts getting paranoid, anxiouse, and can't sleep at night this would last for the whole week and then here he goes again weekend comes and he goes straight to the same thing.He can work monday tru friday but weekends no one hears from him. I get fustrated because i dont know where he is and i dont know who his friends are and no communication during those days because he lets the cell phone battery die. He doesnt even bother to call from any other phone to atleast let me know hes fine or were he is. He end up calling me days after or coming home and act like nothing happened and expect for me to not say a word and accept that he has a alcohol problem. He says he wants to stop, but he doesnt put his mind into doing so. i am to the point that once i have this baby i told him i was going to move on with my life for my children.He makes the money but spends it out in the street and we get backed up with the bills. I had to do my taxes on my own and payed over $4000 to get up to date with the bills and buy stuff for kids and the house even on all baby stuff. i cant even trust him going anywhere on the weekend because of my fear that i wont see him again.I have tried to help him in every possible way but everything is still the same but i have no more patience.I am scared for his health
my husband is a alcohollic and he knows he is, he was my teenage boyfriend ,we had a son who is 38 yrs old. for some apparent reason we got back together when my husband died. we have all ways loved each other our whole life.he is not a mean person, he works but he have to drink before he goes to work and after sometime in between time .I just don't no what to say no more to him about his drinking.He always say,s he just love the taste of it. he goes to church . he knows the Lord and the Bible. He have had three hard attacks ,two stroke and that have not change him. I just keep praying and hoping he would try and stop. he stop for about 6 months. and started back.life was so much easier we he had stop for that time. I just love him so much.and he tells me all the time he loves me so much.Iam 58 and he is 62 years old.
i am going to get married to a person whom i love.he made promises to me that he will leave his habbit of smoking
and drinking too.it has been two years now but he hasn't changed .just twenty days are left and i will be married.but i
dont understand how to make my fiancee realise that he is doing sin.this habbit would ruin both of our lives.he is not ready
to do job even.he just moves out with his friends and drinks and smokes.he shouts whenever he feels like.he abuses
whenevr he wants.i dont know what to do...............i love him.i cannot leave him.but how do i make him realise his bad habbits.
and drinking too.it has been two years now but he hasn't changed .just twenty days are left and i will be married.but i
dont understand how to make my fiancee realise that he is doing sin.this habbit would ruin both of our lives.he is not ready
to do job even.he just moves out with his friends and drinks and smokes.he shouts whenever he feels like.he abuses
whenevr he wants.i dont know what to do...............i love him.i cannot leave him.but how do i make him realise his bad habbits.
I have one thing to say to you. DO NOT MARRY HIM DO NOT. I am married to a husband right now that drinks and verbal;y abuses me and physically also. I find it so hard to divorce him because for some reason my love for him is still strong however not sure why? he drinks every weekend and doesnt work. his focus is mostly on drinking. do not marry him you will be old before your time. Im trying to leave him mentally little by little. but my heart wont let me. please listen.
My husband was the love of my life. We partied together and had the MOST fun when he was in his early twenties ( we married when i was 21 and he was 24) . Our married life was of rock star quality. We ate, drank, smoked, and partied with abandon. Then came a baby girl. Which we both wanted, so I thought. It's been a complicated road. We have two very accomplished children. My husband has a 6 figure salary and I teach school. But yet, regardless of the lovely life we have, my husband continues to f**k up. 3 DUI's in the course of our marriage. 1 arrest, 1 phone call from an airport in Oregon where he was found in a bathroom passed out. 1 car accident in a rental car on a business trip. This doesn't even cover what happened during my pregnancy with baby number 1. Will it ever end?
We are NOT alcoholics WERE just drunks and die by OUR BOTTLE>
Respect is Respect! We put our dues in and now the consequences arent updated. Im a hardcore stock player who just lost 1.3 million today and my attitude is to suck the bottle back and corrupt anyone in my way/presence.
Im the worst devil that you F^%ks will ever know..........BUT im really good when it comes down to supporting the weak. I DO take advantage of the Disadvantaged in the stock market but out of sight i care about society and would buy kids a slurpee if im in a corner store which i enjoy since most welfare families cant afford. Best thing in life is the lil ones who have a poor family which i take pride.
alcoholics have very much values! Drunks are different. I personally got fired from my job from lack of thought. BOoze and bitzhes dont work. I use woman for my own personal use and the effect is alcoholism proceeds any broad.
Heres my story................
Im a sociopath with lies/dreams and thoughts about dreaming about lying. WHY DO I HAVE THESE EXPECTATIONS? 5% supported my thoughts and thoughted my thoughts now think?
Now grab me a fuzking drink! Pleaseeeeeeeeeee
hehe
Hi! The decision to change must come from him. You can encourage him to join an AA meeting. There are many AA meeting schedules available in every State and he can access it through some AA meeting directories like sober(dot)com, or other sites. But first, he must acknowledge his need to seek help.
I recommend you not to marry him..just run.. Iwish some one has warned me.. My husband is an alchoholic..it is a horrible battle everyday..pls leave him
Hello to a remarkable women of faith,
I have been married 12 years and 2 beautiful children (girl 9, boy 5).
I am just moved by your testimony and your faith. Currently, I am separated from my husband and seeking God's wisdom.
Blessings,
Rhonda Doolittle (San Antonio, TX)
I have been married 12 years and 2 beautiful children (girl 9, boy 5).
I am just moved by your testimony and your faith. Currently, I am separated from my husband and seeking God's wisdom.
Blessings,
Rhonda Doolittle (San Antonio, TX)