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HI,EVERYONE I'm back
I just want to start by saying I dont want to compare me problem with any of yours.
I am posting this because it is theropy for me and I am hoping it can help someone else as well(it is keeping me Busy) and keeping busy is what I've been saying all along. I am aware that herion and other addictions are differnt and more difficult but this is really no picinic.With that said,
DAY 13
Find that I am feeling much much better today,still a little shakie and anxious.But much better. Unreal leg and feet are still hurting but much better. still sleep problems but fell asleep without aprobem,just couldn't stay asleep long.
Feeling better every day.
POSTING every day really helped my.
GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU /YOU CAN DO IT
You don't know me but you do
Be back tommorrow
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DAY 14
I only slept for an hour and a half last nite. I took a melatonen that didn't do sh it
Just real tired today. but I think Im past the real suffering .
My case took 14 days to feel kinda normal
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DAY 24
I feel real good,feel like I'm done.NOW to stay that way
GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU SUFFERING.
KEEP TO IT you don't know me ,but you do
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I hope to god u make it bro. i gotta just lay on the couch for 3 days til i can move again. when ive took weeks or even just days trying to taper down, it always ends up bad. my advice, quit now and lay on couch 4 3days or keep tapering but make yourself suffer. if u dont atleast go sober for a full day or sober til atleast like 2-3 in afternoon, or jus take one in the morning. u mite be set up for failure. i was taking 8-10 tab tens twice a day. i did good tapering down to 1 a day, half morning and half at night, but i didnt make myself stay sober really at all, maybe like 3hrs outta the whole day. anyways every other thing in life was goin good for 3 or 4 days i was just taking 2 halves and then, sh*t hit the fan with me and my old lady i was about to give up and then me and a friend got into it, i grabbed a handful of tabs i jus couldnt take the smallest thing. idk it might be different for u but id be careful man, ive tapered myself down to almost nothing 3-5 times and everytime close the end, tiny thing screwed me.
good luck tho brother, be strong
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This is my ever first post to this, or any site, concerning my battle with opiates. I'm hoping to both answer some of the common recurring questions concerning our RECOVERY, and pose a few of my own in the process..
"He lies under the weight of incubus and nightmare;
He lies in sight of all that he would fain perform,
Just as a man forcibly confined to his bed by the mortal languor of a relaxing disease,
Who is compelled to witness injury or outrage offered to some object of his tenderest love:
He curses the spells which chain him down from motion;
He would lay down his life if he might but get up and walk;
But he is powerless as an infant,
And cannot even attempt to rise."
Excerpt from Thomas De Quincey's, "Confessions of an English Opium Eater" 1821
I come from a home that taught very good morals. I am considered to be a very attractive and physically fit man, with a highly logical mindset; an education to back it up. I have also been a morphine addict for about 8 years now (OC, MS contin, etc.) It got to a point that I was doing - and HAD to (insufflate) 400mgs or so EVERY day, just to keep the Demons (WDs) at bay. Needless to say, I spent every dollar I had ($18000 - $20000 per year - EVERY year,) for after the Pharmacist who got a great number of us hooked suddenly left his store, and we on the hook to find our oxys elsewhere...
One day, I met this very special, gorgeous young girl who had addictions in common with me, and we hit it off right away. We helped each other cope with life and depression - and found sex to be explosive once again. Alas, the woman I now loved got hooked on the same dose as I - and had to pay for hers as well..
One day, after not being able to 'score,' she looked me straight in the eye and told me that if I don't set up an appointment for Methadone treatment, she would be forced to 'sleep with the dealer' in order to get our next fix. This was unacceptable. I took that first step, and off to the Clinic on Monday we went... Initially, Methadone was the answer. Well, that and LOTS of sex. I was eating right, my mental state was clear, I could actually regulate my temperature again, and because we had each other, there was no need to pump artificial endorphans (see: 'endo-morphines') into our bodies, for love, sex and health was at the top of our agendas - as they once were some time ago for the both of us..
So the treatment was working. The downside was the inconvenience of having to show my face at a Methadone clinic -- and explain that one to my less than sympathetic friends and family... (that's another story) So many VERY strange people: prostitutes, homeless, mothers-to-be, abusers, tough-guys, ugly people, Beautiful people; young and old. Every one of us has one thing in common: we all have the disease and were trying to get better (in our own way.) And because of that, I came to the conclusion that: I am NO better than ANY of these people, negative traits aside.
I found that the treatment program is slightly flawed in the way that they make (and watch) you drink the Methadone every day. Yet, what I found (in the beginning,) was that I wasn't "jonesing" for a drink (like I do now, nearly 2 years into it,) until the 3rd day. So I actually kept the liquid in my mouth until I could walk out the dispensary, and when I got to my truck, spit it into a water bottle. ($5 every day..) If I hurt, I'd drink it. If not, no worries. Until I weened down to the point I'm at now...
Now, if I miss just 1 hour past 24hrs, I can barely lift my head off the pillow - let alone drive my ass to work! Let alone work! I found that there is NOTHING that will ease my WDs except for Morphine or Methadone. And Morphine is NOT the answer (as it is so short lived, and you have to overcome the depression for the next 3 days after your last hit: the higher you get, the harder you will fall!!) I do not know what the answer to getting off Methadone is at this point, now that my dose is so low, but all I know is that for every 1mL I go down, I am depressed and fatigued for another 2 weeks or longer.. As somebody in the drink line once said, "this stuff gets right into your bones."
And he's not lying. But the alternative is MUCH worse. I have been clean for 18 months, and I am SO glad that those greedy script-holders will NEVER get another $40, $50, $80 for an 80mg oxy from me EVER again! I'm on a rebound, but still have far to go... I know and empathize with All of you good people going through this pain. It is a terrible drug. And it WILL kill you.
And they (those quack "doctors") will give this sh*t out to you - and take it away from you - at a moment's notice, but if you even HINT at a script for natural, 100% safe Marijuana, you're looked down upon or worse. Why is this true? (amerika's biggest threat is Canada's weed? Give me a F***ing Break!) Something is just so TERRIBLY wrong with this world!
I wish you all much love and luck and success, wherever you might be in your recovery. I have to cut out now, but I am a Cornucopeia of knowledge - for those of you who have ANY questions, or need to talk or for support -- I will be glad to help you, if asked.
Peace
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20yrjunkie posted on 7/28/11 2:56 AM
ok all i can say is this.ive been strung on the needle for 20 yrs.i NEVER sniffed.ive done in excess of 3 grams a day at time or more than a brick in bags.i was a hardcore junkie criminal so money came easy.its has been my experience,and i know you are leary of other drugs but the ONLY thing that has worked for me in the past is valium/xanax in large does and clonidine and lots of reefer.youl need at leat enough valium/xanax to take between 30 mls of valium or 2 sticks of xanax 2-3x a day as needed(basically when you wake up nand want to go back to sleep) an 1 ml of clonidine in the morning and at bed time for at least 1 if not 2 wks.make sure you dont have anything to do during the next 2 wks. when you wake up take the pills smoke a bowl or small joint whatever you prefer with a cup of green tea.make sure you also drink lots of fluids and take vitamins as well as you body is probably deprived of both.and stay away form anything that will raise you blood pressure,i.e. caffiene,chocolate,etc.when you withdrawal you blood pressure raises causing the symptoms to be worse,hence the blood pressure meds.chances are you will fall asleep within the hour and you will probably get a little high from this combo.but here is how it works.the benzos relieve the anxiety and help you sleep while the clonidine lowers your blood pressure which in turn helps to keep the withdrawal symptoms a little less harsh.you wont be clanking and sweating as much.as for chills they may still be there.now i cant say that this dosage is for everyone.you will have to experiment a little depending on your habit you may need more or less.take what you need until you feel comfortable.suboxone and methodone suck,they are just replacing one opiate for a synthetic one and after you come off of them you still kick and meth is way worse than heroin,i use so much of the pills because ive found the only way for me to kick is to sleep through it,however you may be diferent.good luck.and remember,starting out you may not need so much,it depends on your habit,like i said only take what you need and i strongly reccomend no more than 1ml of clonidine at a time...
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