How about this?
Dear Bossman:
I am not some 8 year-old Indonesian kid that Acme Corp. can just pay 32 cents and push around as it pleases for 16 hours a day. For the love of all things holy, I am a general flunky. In this society that should command respect and be idolized.
So, while I have enjoyed being brutally abused by you, another opportunity has arisen. Although, this offer does not come from an organization with demeaning conditions, no hope of advancement, or the opportunity to be beaten senseless on a daily basis, I have accepted.
Best wishes in your continued success of subjugating and using your employees.
Pucker up, buttercup,
thegman
Dear Bossman:
I am not some 8 year-old Indonesian kid that Acme Corp. can just pay 32 cents and push around as it pleases for 16 hours a day. For the love of all things holy, I am a general flunky. In this society that should command respect and be idolized.
So, while I have enjoyed being brutally abused by you, another opportunity has arisen. Although, this offer does not come from an organization with demeaning conditions, no hope of advancement, or the opportunity to be beaten senseless on a daily basis, I have accepted.
Best wishes in your continued success of subjugating and using your employees.
Pucker up, buttercup,
thegman
That salary would make him VP of marketing.
I didn't resign. I retired. Kind of like the same thing...sort of.
In the first paragraph, I cited the department's rules and regulations and my intention to retire. In the second paragraph, I thanked the Chief. In the third paragraph, I offered my condolences to him because he's a Notre Dame football fan and they'd had yet another losing season.
But if I had to resign? And the stay there wasn't pleasant? Fuhgeddaboudit. I'd just make it as short as possible because I'd want to beat feet away from there. Zooooom!
In the first paragraph, I cited the department's rules and regulations and my intention to retire. In the second paragraph, I thanked the Chief. In the third paragraph, I offered my condolences to him because he's a Notre Dame football fan and they'd had yet another losing season.
But if I had to resign? And the stay there wasn't pleasant? Fuhgeddaboudit. I'd just make it as short as possible because I'd want to beat feet away from there. Zooooom!
I hope those letters were billable Gman
Be very professional in your resignation letter. Act humble the last 2 weeks. Be kind to everyone. Move on. Don't burn bridges. You are outta there. Don't be an a$$ and undo any good things you may have done.
But, I probably would still send my boss a nice gift basket full of apples.
But, I probably would still send my boss a nice gift basket full of apples.
Dear Principal,
Thank you for the opportunity. By the time you read this, I will have already left the premises. The kids are fine in my room on their own. I put in the movie "Training Day". They've begged to see it every solitary day since August. Typically, I've refused, rules, regulations and all, but now I figure, what the heck.
P.S.
Most of the kids have handcuff keys, if you need them.
Of course, I'd only do this after winning several million in the lottery.
Thank you for the opportunity. By the time you read this, I will have already left the premises. The kids are fine in my room on their own. I put in the movie "Training Day". They've begged to see it every solitary day since August. Typically, I've refused, rules, regulations and all, but now I figure, what the heck.
P.S.
Most of the kids have handcuff keys, if you need them.
Of course, I'd only do this after winning several million in the lottery.