Thank you all first of all for sharing your very personal stories... I came looking for help cause as I sit here the love of my life sitting in the hospital. We have been together a year and 7months tomorrow. Our relationship gas been such a huge rollercoaster!!!! this man is amazing,carries my purse opening my door doing every thing our love is what I always dreamed of as a little girl.......and then the good day or week or month goes extremely bad!!!!! if gas kicked me. and the kids out in the street at late late hours of the night and telling me how much if hates me and how everything is my fault.... then he gets better and loves me again. My kids no longer live with us because they truly grey to hate him, I also should mention I hate serious health issues I am 41 and hate had a few heart attacks first one was at age 38 and got 5 stints...point me that is as some on here hate mentioned I have my own depression and he is making things much worse however I love him with every bit of my heart and soul but now I am really beginning to despise him because most of is outburst happen when my health is really bad or when I'm sad about my kids or something its as though it triggers him when he feels helpless to helping me??? anyway sorry this is probably a lot oframbling so I do apologize........I am just at a very desperate road I don't believe I could ever walk away from him because I know he loves me as much as I love him and it scares me to think that this is what our life is gonna be but I'm scared to leave him cause I don't think he would survive! this story is very very long and I really don't know what's up or down any more like the one person wrote that they didn't want to wake her up in the morning cause they didn't know which reason it would be.......I can so relate......I am going forward and getting counseling for my self and also gonna look for some support groups.. thank you all so much for listening!!