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I know I'm not a horribly unattractive girl and i have a slim but curved body and normally I feel pretty good about how I look. I have a wonderful boyfriend who says he loves my looks and that there is nothing wrong with me. But as soon as I go out I automatically start comparing myself to other girls. I look and I notice it they have a nicer shape than me or a prettier face, which i know sounds superficial and i really don't know why i do it. I feel comfortable in my own skin it's just that as soon as I'm around other girls I get uncomfortable and depressed. I stay this way until i get home, I want to know if anyone could give me some tips on how to stay confident and how to be more relaxed around people i find intimidating just because I think they are better looking. :-(


Hi hon: You are not the only one that feels this way, it happens with EVERYONE and EVERY animal. It is the battle of the best - so too speak - if you ever watch an aquarium or dogs interacting it happens all the time, that they all compete for the opposits attention and affection. Birds strut their stuff and some build nicer and more beautiful nests too draw attention too the opposite sex. I GUARANTEE you that even the "pretty ones" feel the pressure too luck their best and will be looking at your body and saying "I wish mine was like hers" Or looking at your eyes and saying "I wish I had her eye color" etc. etc. Now adays we are BOMBARDED with images of perfection! Or what we are told is perfection! That is why the Dove product campaign using regular women did so well.

What IS perfection? What is the ultimate beautiful person? Everyone has a different image in their heads, so that been said, how can you ever live up too all these different images? I have seen people - that I think are unnatractive yet have the most beautiful spirit and personality, and you just forget that something is a miss about their looks. All you see is commercials with beautiful skinny laughing models, they are everywhere, the itnernet, magazines, tv, movies etc. But many of them - especially pictures - are airbrushed, professionally made up and accessorized etc. Do you remember when the media went after Tyra Banks and Jennifer Love Hewitt, calling them FAT!!!!!!!!! I thought "Well I better not to go too Los Angeles in the near future!" ;-) IT is ridiculous the pressure placed on just normal people, and that includes men/boys. I have answered many questions from teenage boys who are so worried about everything. It is heartbreaking too me.

You sound like you have a very good comfort zone with yourself. So believe me that WILL be passed out when you are out in public. Do you know what someone said too me once? "Why do you think you are so special?" I was like "EXCUSE ME!!!" their reply "What makes you so special that someone would be looking at you and trying too compare you against them?" Which was a bit of a wake up call! When you look at the likes of Paris Hilton - who truly thinks she is being envied by everyone. You are like "WHY?!!!!" She and others like her are so into themselves and how they look, that they don't have time too waste on the competition.

Next time you go out, just think too yourself, there is NO difference between them and myself. They might have had the worse day of their lives and just need to get out and have people oggle at them too make themselves feel better. You on the other hand have a loving boyfriend a good sense of self, and really you don't have too prove anything too anyone. You are confident in your relationship right? So just enjoy being out with him, and I guarantee you when you are confident out in public, you have this air about you that others find VERY attractive. It's like you could be single for a year, then you get in a relationship then WHAM your asked out left right and centre. That is because you have a confidence about you, that others are drawn too. So don't worry about the so called pretty people, they could be totally lonely and feel terrible about themselves and go to extreme lengths too look as good as they possibly can. And spend money that they don't have doing it too. Just be happy about yourself and your guy!!!