I've been with my boyfriend nearly 4years and he my everything. I'm 21 and hes 22. I have been diagnosed with GAD and a little OCD. About 6 months ago I stated obsessing over my relationship and if I still loved him ect. I went to counciling and we nearly broke up and we realised things needed to change and things have gotten better. But one night in bed the thought can into my head maybe I'm a lesbian I have previously watched lesbian porn and masturbated to it but from internet research I've found out that's normal. A couple of times when I was drunk I've kissed a girl like a light peck on the lips n I think I liked it but I also think that was because of all the male attention. When I was younger I used to look up lesbian groups on bebo (thats like13 an younger) but never contacted anyone or anything. I've only ever had boyfriends and I picture myself marrying a man my current boyfriend to b honest. I've only had fantasy's about men. I've always been a big boy band kinda girl. I have been checking out girls to see if I get a reaction from myself. I always used to be so comfortable with myself that I could see a page 3 girl and be like her boobs r fake or whatever as a joke to the boys. I don't have that much of a sex drive and don't always enjoy it and struggle to cum but I do get pain during sex and I take the pill which can apparently push down your sex drive. I over analyse everything I do and I think I'm writing this as much for myself as anything else to convince myself its all OK n I'm just a little mentsl . I have nothing against gay or lesbian I just want be with my boyfriend. Its keeping me up all night that I'm in denial helpplease
I really want to have sex, it looks and sounds awesome.