I have been with my boyfriend (well, currently ex-boyfriend) for almost a year. I love him but every three months he breaks up with me. It's like clockwork. I am extremely caring and careful with him because some times I feel like I am walking on eggshells with our relationship. When he is good, he treats me with love, kindness and concern - everything you'd want in a significant other. However, when he goes into one of his moods, I feel like I don't even know him. He's so hateful and says the ugliest things to me so he can break up with me. It is hurtful and I feel, beyond anything, betrayed by someone I care about so much. I don't understand how he can stand there emotionless and say those nasty things to me.
Including this most recent breakup, this has happened 3 times already. This most recent time was so unexpected for me. We were doing really well until he got back from his labor day trip with his buddies, where they partook in a 3-day alcohol and weed binge (there may have been other drugs, I'm not entirely sure). He has admitted to me that he gets severely depressed for at least a week whenever he drinks like that and all the times that he's dumped me has always been right after these drinking binges. When he snaps out of his mood, he apologizes to me and tells me that he didn't mean any of the awful things he said to me and felt horrible for treating me so terribly. I am quick to forgive him too because I feel like the person that loves me is back.
Common sense tells me that I should not put up with this anymore because it is emotionally abusive and draining. These days I feel like an empty shell, having trouble sleeping while he ignores me and cuts me out from every aspect of his life. I miss the "good" him so much and I want him back.
It seems like he has some kind of depression that is either induced or exacerbated by his occasional drug and alcohol abuse. I've been in only one other relationship besides this one now, so sometimes I don't know if I am just making an excuse for him by attributing his bad behavior to alcohol induced depression when in actuality he is just being plain and simple a jerk! People around me are predicting that he is going to come back to me again. If he does, I'm sure I will not able to resist turning him away. So if he has a legitimate disorder, I would like to help him.
Thanks in advance for responses! I'd really appreciate it.
Including this most recent breakup, this has happened 3 times already. This most recent time was so unexpected for me. We were doing really well until he got back from his labor day trip with his buddies, where they partook in a 3-day alcohol and weed binge (there may have been other drugs, I'm not entirely sure). He has admitted to me that he gets severely depressed for at least a week whenever he drinks like that and all the times that he's dumped me has always been right after these drinking binges. When he snaps out of his mood, he apologizes to me and tells me that he didn't mean any of the awful things he said to me and felt horrible for treating me so terribly. I am quick to forgive him too because I feel like the person that loves me is back.
Common sense tells me that I should not put up with this anymore because it is emotionally abusive and draining. These days I feel like an empty shell, having trouble sleeping while he ignores me and cuts me out from every aspect of his life. I miss the "good" him so much and I want him back.
It seems like he has some kind of depression that is either induced or exacerbated by his occasional drug and alcohol abuse. I've been in only one other relationship besides this one now, so sometimes I don't know if I am just making an excuse for him by attributing his bad behavior to alcohol induced depression when in actuality he is just being plain and simple a jerk! People around me are predicting that he is going to come back to me again. If he does, I'm sure I will not able to resist turning him away. So if he has a legitimate disorder, I would like to help him.
Thanks in advance for responses! I'd really appreciate it.